lucetilogs | (no subject)

Who:

semper_cogitans, though with replies coming from

i_speak_softly. I pity anybody else who might join in advance :|;;
What: Probably the most awkward, hormone-spiked bath ever
When: March 31st, during the Unofficial Derpturtle Sleepover
Where: House 55
Summary: Robert has just the luck to be turned into a mutant red-eared slider in the middle of spring mating season, which, needless to say, is making everything a little awkward. Especially when he's been in the same house as his boyfriend (and his family) for a few days. And then, of course, he's neglecting to keep himself hydrated, so clearly Don has to get him into a bath. ~~This won't turn awkward or fail miserably at all.~~
Rating: F for Fail. No, really, it's probably going to get into NC-17 territory, though knowing how much Robert and Don suck at emotional stuff, anything along those lines will likely be awkward and abortive.

So how uncomfortable is it to be in your partner's house in the middle of a mating season while simultaneously being aware of how much the rest of his family dislikes you?

Very uncomfortable, that's how uncomfortable. And that is why Robert has completely immersed himself in work on his nanocomputer, both to ignore the subtle anxiety of the various Hamatos not named Donatello looking at him disapprovingly and to try to suppress the increasingly-urgent desire to do more than just cuddle with Donatello. It was decidedly unprofessional to feel like that... and, truth be told, Robert was more than a little nervous about the idea. Eight years of self-imposed cloistered distance from people meant that sexuality was something he hadn't really ever gotten a chance to envision as anything more than furtive, broken fantasies. Never mind that his emotional abilities were skewed enough and most of his fantasies ended up depressing him somewhat because they were about Benjamin... though, the subject of them had, admittedly, changed somewhat in three months.

Okay, changed a lot.

Clearly this mental topic deserved to be crushed down in favour of typing even more fiercely at the ergonomically-designed miniature keyboard of his nanocomputer. Never mind that only having two fingers was kind of throwing him off his typing stride. Never mind the strange lethargy and general illness he felt. I have to distract my mind from this...

Somebody more knowledgeable of turtles - for example, an actual turtle - might realize Robert's more than a little dehydrated right now. That's what happens when you isolate yourself in a house where people tend to congregate around the kitchen and steadfastly refuse to do anything but work in a desperate attempt to push the hormone-induced thoughts out of your head. (And it's funny, because Robert normally wouldn't deny thoughts like this. But there isn't anywhere private enough to indulge them...)

Anybody feel like wresting him from his engrossed state at the nanocomputer?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Robert, with his brilliant inability to read expressions and emotions, has absolutely no idea that Splinter finds the topic bothersome at all, in any way, shape, or form. He doesn't even see any reason why it should be bothersome.

"He did explain to me that this is technically mating season for his subspecies," Robert notes almost brightly, still in a manner that indicates that this is a completely normal thing to be talking about. "Theoretically, at least. It certainly explained why I was feeling aroused all the time..." He muses a little to himself, still candid as ever. "It's quite a bit different from a human body, in that sense. Fascinating..."

He sobers a little. "But I don't wish to be a bother to him. If he would be uncomfortable with the prospect, then the only ethical thing to do would be to wait for a point where he felt comfortable with sexuality." Even if Robert's body is hungry for it, he's not going to push the issue, ever. He just isn't that kind of person.

"... Besides, he specifically stipulated that it should not happen during an experiment." And while Robert isn't sure why Don would prefer his skinny, pale, scarred, unpleasant-by-most-accounts human body over this foreign-but-considerably-nicer-looking turtle frame, he wants to make Don happy. He wants to make Don loved.

"... But if you have any other concerns..."

Robert doesn't realize the entire situation is a concern to Splinter.

Splinter stared at Robert. Throughout this entire conversation, Splinter had been faintly horrified that Robert was being so candid about this matter. However, now the conversation was straying into the territory of things Splinter did not wish to know about his son's boyfriend. He had left the opening for Robert to elaborate, but he was still incapable of comprehending someone without the least bit of discretion regarding sexual matters.

There were things that should be discussed with partners and never with said partner's father.

A good ninja knew when to strategically retreat. This was a perfect example of when to do so.

"No, no," Splinter spoke quickly. "My concerns are alleviated for now. Please, enjoy your bath."

That lack of discretion comes mostly from the fact that Robert both expects and appreciates the idea of Splinter wanting to know his son's sexual history. To him, it's as mundane as asking what time he's going to come back home from a social function - it's something that, as Don's father, he should express interest in purely because it's something that factors into the health of his child.

And he has no way of knowing otherwise.

"Ah, well, I'm glad to hear that...

If you ever have any other concerns, please feel free to voice them."

Robert is left with the distinct impression that something he didn't quite get has occurred again.