[Okay so Haruhi didn't want to public speak everything. Some things can be pawned off to the managing authorities here. The following are put written on a series of note cards.
Number 1:]
Don't forget that the SOS-Brigade is open for consultation about any mysteries or confusing things in your life. Particularly given the holiday coming up if you have experienced or will experience or maybe even are experiencing interpersonal problems that you want resolved, be sure to step into our offices in town. It's literally impossible to miss us.
[Number 2:]
Looking for sailors to go on an exploratory mission around the barrier's edge by sea as far as I know [that part is crossed out. Damn writing in pen] Possible involvement of a king, ship provided. Need those willing to run a ship's maiden voyage on the sea out there. Report to SOS-Brigade HQ for more details.
[Number 3:]
Those of you who were signed up for Project Hydra Social - the Brigade's penpal initiative - please don't forget to write to your penpals. If you don't it defeats the purpose of the initiative, after all.
[Number 4:]
If anyone wants to get their hands on slot machines or pachinko machines, the SOS-Brigade currently has two of each that they are willing to sell. Payment can be in the forms of favors, interesting magical items - particularly ones which will allow people to breathe underwater - or assorted other neat things. Report of the SOS HQ if interested.
Advertisements, Announcements
Number 1:]
[Number 2:]
[Number 3:]
[Number 4:]