"I didn't mean ta make this into a big deal," she gestured between them, looking away again. She hadn't meant to bring up what had happened before at all. Or to make him feel miserable and unwanted. She couldn't seem to have the knack of walking the line right with him when it came to this. And it had been unexpected and sudden and now she had a chance to actually kiss under the mistletoe with someone she liked and was attracted to and couldn't hurt... who happened to exhibit a startling disregard for the value of human life and a ruthless strategic mind and a past at least as twisted and bruised as her own. "It just--"

She sought his eyes again, her own now clear of imminent tears and earnest. The hand she'd raised between them found rest against his chest for a moment. She wanted him to hear her, she wanted to somehow make this okay and she needed the comfort that he could provide, the comfort that someone who wouldn't flinch away from her touch could give. "It is."

It is a big deal to me.