no subject

[ if she now speaks harshly, it's not because she doesn't mourn anya. it's not because she doesn't feel that loss keenly, because she does. she feels every loss incurred on he watch, but anya is a particularly complicated case. it's difficult not to imagine the death, though buffy had been underground and unable to see it.

and when she imagines it, she always sees the same haunting image: anya pinned to the school wall, a sword through her chest. such an image always makes it easier to blame herself.

so, she finds herself pushed uncontrollably towards a hard truth: ] No. Not Andrew. You, Anya. You died. Protecting him.