lucetilogs | FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, MY FELLOW LUCETIANS

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, MY FELLOW LUCETIANS

Who: EVERYONE
What: TRAUMA!
When: ALL THE TIME
Where: ANYWHERE
Summary: HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE TRAUMA. FREE FOR ALL IN THE SCARRING EXPERIENCES DEPARTMENT.
Rating: Gosh. I'm not sure. However, I suggest you hide your little'uns.

Basically, the purpose of this log is TRAUMA SPAM. If you didn't want to spam your flist with extra posts, or you wanted to post with more than one character -- or more than one character more than once! -- here is your place to be.

This will be a commentspam style log where you can thread start with your character hallucinating things. Whatever you wish it to be! It can even just be a more general thread start where they're not hallucinating anything -- yet. And each thread can get treated like a post, where that character's CR can react to the trauma going down!

If you still wish to actually post in your character's journal, you're of course totally allowed to do so. This is just here for funtiems and convenience for everyone who wanted a greater chance to post during this event! Feel free to use it anytime over the next few days, through Halloween, to do "posts" and threads with your characters.

Have at, guys!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He remembers that look and it frightens him because he remembers how he used to be back then. He hadn't wanted to do it, but he'd been told that if he didn't then his country, his people, would be at risk for invasion. He had done so many terrible things to China, the worst being his betrayal and while he tried his best to forget, to move on, the memory always sat like an open wound somewhere in his mind.

He has no idea what China saw in that moment, but he isn't sure he wants to. Instead, he takes a step back, lowering his gaze to the floor. He should ask, but he's afraid of the answer. He's afraid of what China saw in that one moment and if it was true. What if all these things he was seeing were true?

A few moments later and he picks up a cloth, kneeling down to clean up the shattered cup.]

[Some part of China flinches a bit (and he hates that it does) as Japan takes that step back before he tells himself no, this wasn't how he'd gotten through everything. He didn't hold a grudge because, if he did, he'd be weighed down by all of them and had been through enough to know that they really didn't have a choice, in the end.

One hand lifts to press over his eyes as he takes a deep breath. He lowers it after a minute, feeling steadier. He thinks he can speak without his voice wobbling.]

It's all right. I'll take care of it.

[Even if China doesn't hold a grudge, Japan retains the regret from that day. He doesn't show things outwardly and he moves on quickly to any outside observer, but he is a country that retains many of his scars internally instead. He often thinks on the past and the things he could have done better, the things he should have done better, and the guilt builds in him over time, pushed down and hidden by a sometimes blind push toward the future.

Even though he knows he shouldn't, he always does things like this over and over.

He's busy gathering pieces of the shattered up with the cloth and shakes his head when China speaks to him, keeping his eyes on his work. It's easier to concentrate and he can pretend to ignore how the cloth seems to turn red with blood one moment, only to look normal the next.]

...If you are feeling unwell, China-san, you should rest.

[China bites back the urge to laugh at that. Rest? How is he supposed to rest when he hears his people screaming through the night, catches glimpses of their bodies lining the shores of the Yangtze? He's always prided himself on being able to deal with this, but being hit with so many things all at once is almost too much to bear.

He turns back to the counter and moves to refill the water and set it to boil again.]

I'm fine. This is all...it can't last for that much longer.

[The sounds from the fog don't help either. Japan has no idea what China has been seeing and hearing, but his history is longer and he can only imagine that he has more skeletons in his closet because of it. It's been hard enough even with his history and actions...]

Ah--

[For a moment, he thought he saw a burnt face looking at him from the cloth. They're just the pieces of the cup though. Burnt flesh. Folds of cotton. He closes his eyes and gathers everything up, pushing himself off the floor to dump the shards into the waste bin. He doesn't want to say that he thinks it's going to get so much worse before it gets any better.]

...Perhaps this is a side effect of the Halloween experiment. Still, you shouldn't push yourself if you are unwell.

[China folds his hands into his sleeves, partly to hide how his fingers won't quit trembling, darting a glance over one shoulder at him at that 'ah'.]

Haah, most likely. The same goes for you. But I'm not unwell, so there's no need to worry about me.

[He exhales a heavy breath through his nose and now, now goes about re-making that tea. When he looks down into the cup and sees his seaport burning--those pirates. So long ago, I'd almost forgotten about it by now--he shuts his eyes against it and sips.]

[The shards in the bin remind him of his cities, and then they are his cities - burning, reduced to rubble, people crying, people sitting next to destroyed houses where they'd only been able to graze fingers with their loved ones before they died or worse, where they'd arrived too late to find their entire family dead. He felt their pain like it was his own. The shards are just bits of cup though and he closes the waste bin lid, turning to look at China.]

...You can hear them too, can't you.

[China focuses his attention on the steam rising from the cup, turning it around slowly in one hand with the fingers of another. Here he sighs and turns to face him now--some knot of tension easing in his stomach when nothing changes as he looks at him--leaning his back against the counter.]

I can. There are...too many things.

...It comes from having a long history, I suppose.

[Or maybe just a tumultuous one. He sets the cloth on the counter and grimaces at the sight of another burnt face rising from the ridges to cry accusingly at him about how he let this happen, he let his people and his cities burn. He brought that horror upon them. All your fault. All you-- He turns the cloth over and looks towards China again.]

It seems this year's Halloween is not to be a good one.

[He lifts the cup in his hands toward his mouth, sips from it slowly and ignores the strange queasy feeling in his stomach, the visions at the corner of his eyes that are trying to gain his attention. China tries to focus on just looking at Japan.]

It seems like it. Though, all things considered, perhaps I should have expected them to do something to—

[Water, there’s water and it’s rushing all around him and he’s not in the kitchen anymore, he’s looking at Kaifeng, at the people dying and the homes swept away and it was the siege, they did this on purpose. The water’s up to his throat, his mouth, and he gasps shortly before it’s closing over his head and—

Gone. His grip on his cup is white-knuckled and he breathes in deep, shaking breaths, like a man starving for oxygen.]

[When China stops speaking, he can tell that he's seeing something and moves forward. The white-knuckled grip is a dead giveaway and he reaches out once he thinks China is okay, trying to take the cup from him before he crushes it and harms himself.]

China-san...

[The cup is easily taken once China realises what he's doing and gives Japan a numb stare, trying to bring himself back. He's muttering, softly, as he wonders if that's exactly how his people felt when they--]

Li Zicheng, he...the Yellow River...

[He sets the cup on the counter and moves it away so it can't be knocked off accidentally. He's quiet for a bit, but thinks he should say this. It's how he's getting over the worst of it, at least.]

It's in the past, China-san. These things are long past us.

I know. I know.

[He tries for some vehemence in his tone. Does he? Of course he does, that--it was long ago. But it's so much harder to convince himself of that when the memories keep on rushing back. He doesn't want to recall all of those times, not at once like this.]

Ha... [A tiny, forced chuckle.] I should be able to handle this.

[He seems to shrink a little from the small bit of anger in China's voice, pulling back a step as he looks down at the floor. Yes, China would know. He'd know better than all of them. But he hadn't seen the betrayal coming. He'd believed until the time you cut him that there was no way he'd ever be harmed by his family. Japan flicks his head slightly to the side to chase away the voices, the weight of a phantom katana in his hands.]

The severity of the hallucinations is enough that even the strongest of us would have trouble handling it, China-san. Do not be so hard on yourself.

[China rubs a shaky hand across his face, at last looking with a tired expression at Japan. More tired than he allows himself to show, ever, and he sinks back against the counter for support, because his limbs feel all too heavy. A slight dip of his head and a slow shake of it, back and forth.]

Still, I-- [Pause. A rough sigh.] Perhaps. Perhaps so...

[He moves forward and motions for China to walk with him, hopefully back to bed because the older nation looks tired for once which is unusual.]

I will bring you tea in a moment. Please relax in the living room.

[There's a tiny tensing along China's shoulders, like he's about to protest and with how much this has been wearing on him, he's prone to snapping. But he doesn't, instead pursing his lips and moving to do so.]

Hah...very well. Thank you, then.

[He follows a few minutes later, bringing China a cup of tea, but in a non-breakable cup. He doesn't want China to harm himself after all.

Wordlessly, he holds the cup out to him, looking him over for signs of any distress.]

[That his whole body is tense might be a sign of distress, as well as how he's holding the cup tighter than he would normally. But he sips from it after a short nod of thanks.

He's not going to break, though. He's been through all of this, he can do it again, even if it's difficult. More than difficult, right now.]

...

[Japan watches for a moment, then turns and leaves. He comes back a minute or two later with a blanket which he drapes over China's shoulders.]

...Staying out here too late at night will give you a chill. Try to rest, China-san.

[China makes a low, amused noise deep in his throat, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Maybe laughter.]

Hah. I can try, aru.

[With the return of that 'tic' of his, he's trying to seem all right, as well.]

[Japan pauses and then turns to leave, stops and turns back. He feels bad if he leaves China out here by himself, but he isn't sure if China wants to be alone. Would it be better if he stayed or if he gave China privacy? He isn't sure of anything other than the fact that his own nightmares are getting worse, growing more and more real as time passes.]

...Shall I make something to eat if we're to be up anyway?

[China glances over to him briefly, back to the cup in his hand and then gestures with one hand, holding the cup in his other.]

...If you'd like to, I wouldn't say no to something to eat, aru.

[As long as those phantom feelings of nausea from withdrawals from too many years ago stay away, he thinks he should be able to stomach something.]

[He nods his head and moves off then. It's easier to deal with everything if he keeps himself busy. After a few moments, China might hear the sounds of him moving quietly about in the kitchen.]

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, MY FELLOW LUCETIANS

;____; /clings

;A;

;w; God, poor China...

Poor both of them, man. ;~;

It really, really blows to be a nation for this event

It really, really does.

orz

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