lucetilogs | "And through the rise and falling apart"

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"And through the rise and falling apart"

Who: Aang and Katara
What: A much needed conversation
When: April 16th
Where: House 56 -> THE OCEAN
Summary: ...soooo there are some things they need to straighten out
Rating: G for 'this should be good?'

[Time is the sweetest balm. It's been... nearly a week now, and Katara's starting to feel much more like herself. And as such... she really wants to not have to talk to Aang about That Night, or about what he called her when he first arrived, or about any sort of heart-manipulating experiments and their results, or about Masaomi...

She really doesn't want to have to talk to him about that. She just wants things to stay as they are, while he's here - happy and content, as best as possible. But... he remembers things differently. Or - he remembers things that haven't happened yet. And if she doesn't share of some things that have happened to her, and if she attempts to brush over the things he's told her, and what she's learned, then... then they're living a lie just as foul as one of the experiments. And she refuses to do that.

So after dinner, and after an abbreviated time of practice, Katara knocks on Aang's bedroom door.]

Aang?

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Yeah, me too.

[She hesitantly glanced over at him.]

And... I'm glad you're here too, Aang. Even if things... aren't the same as you remember them being, and I'm so sorry if that hurts you... I really missed you.

[Her words carried that mix of soothing warmth and gently crushing reality. He shifted a bit, but her returned her glance after a moment.]

Thanks, Katara. You don't have to worry about that. It's something I've been dealing with since I got here, and... you had no control over how and when they brought you here.

I'm glad you're here, too, even if I wish they could have left you back home. And I'd be happy no matter what point in time you're from.

Edited 2012-04-26 14:13 (UTC)

[The nice thing about being Aang is that Katara believes you when you say something. So - for a little while, anyway - she doesn't feel like she'll have to worry about it.

Although when that time lifts, she'll wonder if she should have wondered about how much of that happiness is informed by his feelings for her... and what, if anything, she should do about that.

What a tangle.

For now, though, she just smiles a little.]

So... a little more than a year, huh? What else have we been doing?

[He smiled at first, basking in the good memories.]

Well... the three of us - me, you and Sokka... we've spent most of the year doing work for the Harmony Restoration Movement. Helping people to rebuild after the war. Mostly it's been helping to move the Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom back to the Fire Nation. [He speaks the next sentence decisively.] That's what was fair. [Then he becomes wistful.] I had a lot of fun. It felt really refreshing to be the Avatar for a change, in a world where no one was after me anymore. And I was having fun planning ways of reintroducing old Fire Nation culture, too, but...

[I want you to end me. ... A promise is a promise ... You have to calm down. Please, Sweetie, for me. His smile fades.]

But...

[He saw the relatively fresh memory of Zuko restraining Katara while Aang tried to plead with him. ...Then he saw just the other night, when the three of them were laughing over dinner.]

I'm not sure if I should tell you the rest.

[...what? No. No clouds on her happy, peace-filled horizon!]

Why not? Did something bad happen?

[He tried not to let his concern show.]

There's a problem back home, and there's still a chance it can be resolved peacefully, but it's... it's something I don't like to think about. Everyone's getting along so well here, and this information could... change that.

[He gives her a more serious look.]

I'll tell you, if you want... but no one else should know. Especially not Zuko.

[The only reason why this pause exists is because Katara's learned that there are some things about the future she... doesn't need to know.

But.]

It's not fair for you to carry this around by yourself. We're your friends, Aang. If you think that the others shouldn't know... all right. [For now. You may not have heard the end of this.] But if it's bothering you, if it's important, you should tell someone.

[He nods at Katara and then looks back into the sky, silently gathering his thoughts.]

...The start of everything was actually after the war ended. When we were celebrating in Ba Sing Se. [As usual when he looked back to that day, the first thing that came to mind was Katara's lips. He pushed that to the side for a moment.] We all had... so much fun. But that night, I noticed that Zuko looked really distant and unhappy. And while he was with us... like he is now... he was getting better, happier.

So when I asked him. He told me that he had visited his dad in prison, and he wanted me to... make a promise. That if... [he paused for a moment to make himself say the words, always afraid that saying them here will make them true here as well] ... if he ever started to become like his dad, I should... end him. [Another pause; he remembered his new girlfriend Katara's solemn nod of approval] ...I accepted the promise.

[Well that's... a bit drastic. Melodramatic, really. Full of righteous intentions and gloom. Very Zuko.

She can understand that. Accept it, even, on some level. It's better for Zuko to die than for him to fall back on the path that would lead the world further into chaos and death, she can understand him preferring that, she can understand him asking it...

But Aang accepting it?]

...and you were... okay with that?

[Her questioning of this strikes him, making him feel regretful about the decision and thankful for her insight. But he didn't know how to tiptoe around the issue, especially telling her that she had already approved of it.]

Honestly, Katara, no. It's... the last thing I wanted, especially at that time, after everything I went through to stop Ozai without... doing the same to him. But I think that at that time, you understood. He wouldn't want to live with himself if he became like that. And... as much as I hate to think about it... I remember everything about Roku and Sozin, and how much could have been avoided if Sozin was... you know, taken care of. I don't think I even thought that much when he asked me. With all of the celebrations going on, I didn't think that I'd... ever have to act on the promise.

Edited 2012-05-01 02:48 (UTC)

[Any thought of interacting with his reasoning is immediately cut off by the way he said that last sentence.

Oh no.]

Did something happen to... change your mind?

[Aang, you didn't kill him... did you?]

[Aang did feel the immediate need to clarify this.]

He's still alive. But things have... changed. Like I was saying, aside from the promise, everything after the war was great... really, really great... until just a few days before I was brought here. [pause] Zuko suddenly withdrew from the Harmony Restoration Movement, and he refused to let any more of the colonies in the Earth Kingdom be moved back to the Fire Nation.

[Oh. Zuko changing his mind on an Incredibly Important Issue. How unique for him.

But.

She frowned.]

Zuko always does what he thinks is right... even if it's wrong. He must have had a good reason - or what he thought was a good reason. Did we go talk with him?

[She assumes 'we.' Of course she does.]

[He gives a light smirk at her assumptions.]

We did. Me and you. He went into this one colony, Yu Dao, with a bunch of soldiers, and he refused to talk to anyone. We had to drop in and fend off some of his guys before he would even speak to us. [He isn't sure if he should mention the Avatar State part yet, rationalizing that he should focus on the part she asked about.] After everything calmed down, he took us on a tour of the city and told us that it was the oldest colony, and he didn't think it should be moved. And... he did make some points, about how the Fire Nation and Earth Nation people came together in some ways. But it was still wrong. It was still imbalanced, and the Fire Nation people had more power.

Wow, leaving one of the colonies in the Earth Kingdom? That... wasn't at all what I had pictured at the end of the war.

[She paused and turned the idea over in her mind.]

If they were going to stay, they couldn't stay like that - imbalanced, I mean. It's not right. The Fire Nation Colonists may think of it as their home, but it's not their land.

[Two years in Luceti has broadened her concept of Statehood, otherwise she might have reacted more violently to the idea of allowing the Fire Nation to 'keep' their colonies.]

That's a good point, hold onto it for the future. [He said that a bit light-heartedly before transitioning to the subject.] We were just on our way to talk to the Earth King about the whole mess when I was... brought here. I guess if there's one good thing in all of this, it's that we met up with Toph again.

Well... at least we're going to talk about it. I'm sure that everything will work out okay. [She touches his arm briefly.]

You don't have to worry, Aang. As long as we're all talking about it, then he hasn't become like Ozai. Ozai wouldn't talk about something like this with anyone. Ozai was insane. He didn't care about his people in the Fire Nation colonies. He was going to burn them all. It sounds like Zuko was just torn with figuring out the right thing to do - and we'll help him. You'll find some way to make it balanced, I know you will. We'll all help.

[He allows himself to smile again, but some concern still remains.]

Thanks, Katara. You always know the right things to say. I know there's still time to help Zuko. He isn't like Ozai yet, but... he's been more distant and demanding. It feels like he's forgotten what we were all fighting for. That's why... I think it's better if he doesn't know this. Now, he's where we were when we were friends. I don't... want to give him any ideas that could change him.

[She drops her hand.]

I understand that. He'd just worry, the same as you are right now. But Aang, even though Zuko really... struggles in finding the right path, as long as he's still looking for it...

[They've been through a lot here.]

There's cause for hope. If you ever feel like you need to talk with him about this, I don't think you should be afraid to.

[Her fleeting touch felt weirder than usual when compared to the memories he was revisiting. But his yearnings weren't important now. Instead, he silently considered her words.]

...You're right. I'll... see what happens. It feels pretty weird... to finally be talking about all of this stuff.

I'm sorry that you've had to be carrying this by yourself so long. I should have asked you sooner.

It's okay. I... I would have been fine with pretending all that Yu Dao stuff never happened. But I can't lie to you, Katara.

...you shouldn't have to pretend anything didn't happen, Aang. We're your friends. No matter what happens, we can work it out together.

[Even if, somehow, she's going to have to deal with the fact that he's got... feelings and she's got... two years of difference. How could she even begin to return them when he's already so invested? He's Aang, but... despite all this, she wonders if he'd still even feel the same if he knew everything that had happened here.]

[He smiles. Even if she's not exactly the same as the Katara who was still back home on Appa's back, he still couldn't help but have her spirits lifted by everything she said, even with the return of the friendship terminology.]

I know that now. We've already gotten through so much together back home. ...These are just really different problems than the ones I'm used to taking on with all of you. But I still do have faith in us, too.

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