and they carried on like long division

[imatreenow]

Who: Silver and Mithos and maybe probably joined by Sayo at some point
What: ...who knows, honestly. Something akin to "bonding" except it's kind of awkward and one-sided-ly hostile.
When: August 14th-20th
Where: Building 2, room 1; the garden outside House 11
Summary: Frey takes a week off to cope with Kaori's departure and Silver steps in to assume his responsibilities of keeping an eye on Mithos. Things happen.
Rating: PG

Comments

[tsuntrader]

[...Sounds like something Lance would hate. Go on.]

[imatreenow]

[When Silver says nothing, he takes that as a cue to continue. For the record, this is anything but a conversation. He is monologuing, alright?]

My sister and I had originally set out with the hope of fostering tolerance and acceptance for half-elves. We dreamed of a world where humans, elves, and half-elves could co-exist peacefully. This goal became linked with that of ending the war, because if the war continued to rage on there soon wouldn't be a world for anyone to live in at all.

[Here, he pauses. He won't share the day-to-day toil or the step-by-step - forward and backwards and and in endless circles - struggles along the way. There are too many intimate moments and personal nuances in these.]

...It took a long time and many tries, but Martel and I, along with our former companions, eventually got through to the kings of both countries. It was I who arranged for the conference that led to the signing of the peace treaty.

[tsuntrader]

So you saved the world. [But then Martel died.]

[imatreenow]

Ending the war was not enough. The Tree had been reduced to the Great Seed and its mana was too depleted to carry the burden of the entire world. Using the Eternal Sword, I split the world into two halves, arranged as in an hour-glass - mana flowed from one half-world to the other, and before the declining world could reach too dire a state the process would be reversed.

[Perhaps the precise details are unnecessary, but honestly his handiwork deserves some recognition.] In short, yes, I saved the world.

[tsuntrader]

...Suddenly I'm kinda glad that I've only ever dealt with your stupid Thundershocks and a few swings from your sword.

[imatreenow]

[A scornful tch. There's no point in saying that, stripped of his Cruxis Crystal and the pacts with the Summon Spirits, he's at only a hollow fraction of his full potential.]

[tsuntrader]

So did you do it for the world, or did you do it for your sister and friends?

[imatreenow]

For both. [A brief pause.] More than anything, I wanted to be able to share a peaceful life with my sister.

1/2

[tsuntrader]

[He wanted to be able to share a peaceful life with his sister. That's it. That's all he wanted.

...If he was in Mithos' shoes, what would he have done...?]

[tsuntrader]

...You know, I understand you enough to know why you act the way you do, but I don't understand you enough to still think it's stupid. [And he's not sure if he likes that.]

[imatreenow]

I wouldn't expect you to truly understand. [And half of the story remains untold...he would expect Silver to understand even less if he knew the whole of it.]

[tsuntrader]

To truly understand, I'd have to be you.

[imatreenow]

...No. Kaori understood. [A certain distance echoes emptily in his voice. He suddenly wishes he hadn't used the past tense. She's gone but, somewhere out there, she still understands. She just doesn't know it, and it makes her understanding hurt more than it helps.]

[tsuntrader]

[...That prompts silence out of him, at least for a moment.

...But when the moment passes...] Don't say it in the past tense.

[imatreenow]

How is it any better in the present tense? She's still gone, and no words can change that!

[tsuntrader]

[...Sigh.]

She's not gone. She's right there. [He points at... Mithos. Right at his heart.]

1/2

[imatreenow]

[In his heart.....just like...]

[imatreenow]

What good does that do me? [He shoves Silver's finger aside.]

I can't talk to her...I can't see her! I can't-- [hold her hand. hold her. be with her. He shakes his head sharply. In there, she'll fester. She'll fill him with an aching longing for the past, which he already can't turn his eyes away from.]

[tsuntrader]

You can water her flowers, you can keep her kind words close to heart, and you care for the things she cared about. You can think about the fact that you got the rare, fated chance to meet her in the first place. [...] What else can you call meeting someone in Luceti, anyway? A slim to none chance, that's what.

That's what good it does you.

[imatreenow]

That has never been enough. [When someone that important enters your life and your life is stretched to new dimensions, it can never retain its original shape and the empty space left behind will never quite be filled. It will always have been better if they had just stayed.

He'd always kept Martel's kind words close, cradled at the core of his heart as the walls caved in around it. He'd done what he thought needed to be done to honor her wishes, and in doing so twisted everything she cared about beyond recognition. He never once stopped cherishing that he had been given so loving a sister in so harsh a world.

He clung to all this to a fault. To the point where he wouldn't be able to let go. To the point where memories became as painful as they were essential to existing, to the point where obsession and ritual left him hungrier by the year.

Kaori's absence is less visceral, but it won't be easier. Endless thoughts and memories, could-have-beens and never-knows, will never amount to more than a cold husk of her companionship.]

[tsuntrader]

Of course not. Moving forward and living is too. Otherwise you'll just end up being eaten alive by your past.

[imatreenow]

I'm sick of hearing that, like it's really a choice I have!

[tsuntrader]

You do. You just have to believe in it.

But no one can make you do that except for you.

[imatreenow]

[He shakes his head, wondering - for far from the first time - why Silver would even care at all if he's happy or miserable. It rejects all logic.] You're wrong. Even if I wanted to...

[At this point he wonders if he can even argue that he doesn't want to...but somewhere inside he's afraid to let go of the past. What if the past becomes all he has of people he cares about? When he thinks like this, there's a distorted something-like-comfort in knowing he will never learn how to change anyway.

By now, they've arrived at the house and the garden is visible from the edge of the road.]

[tsuntrader]

You kept your entire planet from falling apart, but you still don't believe that you can do anything you put your mind to? You really are stupid.




[...Right. Garden. He didn't bring Mithos here to argue with him. He brought him here for this.]