lucetilogs | (no subject)

Zack hurried through the brush, searching vainly for the cave Guy had described. He wasn't sure just why Guy was so terrified, but he was determined to find out, and hopefully solve the problem. He couldn't reverse the Malnosso's effect, but a bit of comfort could go a long way, and Guy had asked him to try.

Finally he spotted a cave, and rushed towards it, peering inside. "Guy?" he called, concerned and cautious. Just how bad was it...?

At the sound of a male voice -a familiar male voice, nonetheless- Guy popped up, not even bothering to rub away the beginnings of her tears before pushing herself up on her shaking legs and stumbling towards the entrance to the cave. "Z-Zack?"

Spotting the vague outline of a person near the mouth of the cave, Guy sprang into a relieved half-jog and very neatly collapsed against the male chest and promptly did her best to push any and all thoughts of being a girl -and Mary- out of her mind. Her fingers curled around his shirt, trembling, and she swallowed another sob, suddenly feeling extremely foolish but still too weak in the knees to push away.

"Guy!" Zack exclaimed, and was all too soon cut off as a small body abruptly pressed up against him, clinging and shaking like a leaf. He blinked once, then lifted his arms to hold the figure, astonished to see familiar, spikey blond locks while at the same time feeling breasts pressing up against him. So it was true - people were really changing gender out of the blue. "Geez... you're spooked, aren't you..."

He tried to ignore the feeling of Guy's newly-female body against his own. Guy made a drop-dead woman. "It's okay, Guy," he murmured. "You'll be alright."

As soon as Guy had said it was okay for him to come, Luke stuffed his journal into his coat pocket and ran from Haseo's house. He turned towards the mountains and bolted, going as fast as his legs could carry him. Guy had sounded so scared; it bothered Luke in a way he couldn't even describe. Even if Zack was going to be there, he didn't care. He was going to be the one to take care of Guy this time. He was going to make sure of that.

When he got to the mountains, he began to search, looking for where Guy was staying. Without instructions, he had to go back to his journal to see if he could find some directions. There. Finally he found the right cave, and stepped inside. He heard voices from inside and ventured in further, using the rocky wall as a guide. Before proceeding, he called out.

"Guy? Are you in here?"

Guy lifted her head when Luke's voice rang through the cavern, and she pushed slightly away from Zack to step towards the sound. She was still afraid, but if Luke saw them like that, he'd be upset...

"Luke?" she called, and cursed the trembling of her voice. She hated sounding so weak, but every time she thought about it, memories of Mary would return, of Mary, and the maids, and their bodies pressing down on her harder and harder and she couldn't breathe, and God now she was just like them-

"L-Luke-!"

Even at that higher pitch, Luke could recognize Guy's voice. He jogged further inside the cave and saw her, standing just a little away from who he assumed was Zack. He had never actually met the other boy before. Shifting slightly, Luke walked up to Guy and put his hand lightly on her shoulder. He could feel her body shaking underneath his hand.

"I'm right here. Everything is going to be okay," he said softly.

Luke moved towards her and she almost moved to hug him when his hand descended upon her shoulder instead.

Ah. So that's that.

"...L...Luke, thanks for...ch-checking up on me." Guy curled her hands into fists, willing herself to stop shivering, nails biting into the flesh of her palms. It was a mistake to have him come when she was like this, when they were like this. Luke still needed her to be strong.

Or rather...she still needed to be strong in front of Luke. And damn him and her to hell, but she was not ready to see that look on his face yet. "Luke...I..."

Zack pursed his lips, taking a step back and watching them. He didn't want to get involved; he'd been part of the problem that had torn the two apart, even if Guy said it would have been inevitable. He felt responsible, and he seriously doubted that Luke would want him talking to either of them.

If Guy needed him, he'd be there in a second. But for the moment, he resigned himself to watch and let Luke handle things. They'd been friends for much longer, after all.

"You don't have to thank me," he answered, shaking his head and giving her shoulder a slight squeeze. Without much thought, he pulled her a little closer, trying to keep her from shaking so hard. He put his arms around her, leaning his temple very lightly against hers.

"What?" Luke asked softly. This was his chance to be the strong one.

Guy stiffened in his embrace, her arms stiff at her sides as she fought to hold him back. She couldn't...it was unfair. He was worried about her, she was afraid and vulnerable. But he hadn't forgiven her, and she hadn't forgiven him, and she hadn't forgiven herself. To indulge the urge to pretend that things were okay now would make all the pain they both had gone through entirely meaningless. It would make everything a lie again.

She didn't want that. "I...I'll come...see you later...when I've calmed down." Placing her hands on his chest and pushing back, she offered him a trembling smile, reaching up quickly to dry her tears. "I'm just a little nervous right now...I just need a little time to get ahold of myself again." The unspoken, 'I don't want you to see me like this,' was there, plain as day, and Guy knew that even Luke wouldn't be able to miss it.

Luke felt her hand on his chest and moved back at the push. He pursed his lips at her words, and dropped his arms from around her, "If you think I'm leaving, you're wrong." One of his hands went to his hips and the other jerked a thumb at Zack. "I'm not going anywhere if he gets to stay." Whether Luke had forgiven her or not, despite everything that had happened, there was no way in hell he was going to leave Guy alone when she was this upset.

And even less of a chance that he was going to leave her alone with Zack. Trust wasn't rebuilt so easily with Luke. He didn't care if Guy didn't want him there. Screw not seeing her like this, he was staying. He could see through that smile easily.

Guy would have scowled if she were a little more in her right mind. And while she felt a little happy that Luke was so determined to stay with her, a part of her also wanted Zack to stay, and she knew that if the both of them were to try and comfort her that things would simply not end well.

She wanted to talk to Luke when she was stable, secure and thinking clearly, and she was anything but at the moment.

Oh, great. Zack couldn't tell if it was jealousy or concern, but it was clear that Guy was going to have Luke's company whether he - she - wanted it or not. Which left him to either play peacemaker or start a fight.

"I don't want to cause you two more problems," he spoke up, hands lifting in a placating motion. "If it's that important to you, I'll go. I'd hate to cause a fight, really."

Green eyes darted to where Zack was standing, "Who said anything about a fight? I'm not starting anything while I'm here. I'm only here to make sure Guy's okay." His hands were still on his hips, meaning Luke was still in his own stubborn mode.

Whatever, if Guy really didn't want him to stay, he'd leave. But not just yet.

Guy pressed a hand to her forehead; what a situation. She wanted -no, she needed- Zack to stay, but with Luke here, she felt stronger. Then again, all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry, and with Zack she didn't have that image to uphold, none of that past to get in the way of being. Even if it didn't matter to Luke, it mattered to her, and she wanted Luke to keep thinking of her as that strong caretaker, as Guy. It was childish, but...

Having Luke look up to her always filled her with pride. To see him taking pity on her...physically hurt.

"Luke," she said quietly, running a hand through her hair habitually, "I...want to talk to you alone...and when I can. We're too important for me to do it now...okay?"

If Luke could have heard the thoughts going through Guy's head he probably would have had to suppress the urge to shake her as hard as he could. How could one person contradict themselves so much? With an exasperated and almost hurt sigh, Luke raked fingers through his red hair. She really didn't want him here; she preferred Zack.

"Fine. I'm going. We'll talk later." He waved a hand at her and turned for the entrance of the cave.

A person would have to be deaf not to tell that Luke was hurt. And it wasn't fair; he'd asked her if she needed him, and she'd said yes. Granted, simply because of him she was calmed down now enough to realize that she didn't want to worry him, it was still unfair of her to turn him away.

But she just wasn't ready.

"L-Luke," and she suppressed a groan at the catch of her voice, "Luke, I..." It dangled there, on the tip of her tongue, but no matter what she did...

"Thank you for...checking up on me..."

She really was weak after all.

Shit.

"Guy, is there someone else who can help you?" Zack asked warily, watching Luke's retreating back. "I don't think this is right..."

He knew Guy wasn't choosing him out of favouritism. Guy had always been strong - seeing her so meek and frightened was alarming, and it was easy to tell that Guy was uncomfortable now that Luke was here. She shouldn't be alone, of course, but...

Maybe I jumped the gun here. I should've figured Luke would want to help.

Luke's coat swished as he headed out. "Sure. What are friends for?" He had to keep himself from stressing the word "friend", or replacing it with something else. Not the time or the place. He flicked his hand in a goodbye wave and was gone.

Great. Now she'd made him even angrier, possibly damaged any repair that could have been made, and all for the sake of her foolish pride. Guy sunk down against the wall, hanging her head between her legs and allowing her hands to shake once again. She was so stupid...she was so stupid.

"What's wrong with me...?" she whispered, not expecting an answer, but desperately hoping for one.

Zack withheld a sigh and stepped forward, crouching in front of Guy, but not touching her. "Guy, you're just stressed. Come on, you shouldn't be staying in this cave. You'll get sick or something. Let me take you back to the village, and we'll find you an apartment." And someone else to look after you, he thought, but didn't say aloud. Guy didn't need any more issues thrown at her.

Guy drew her wrist across her nose, snuffling, but didn't look up or even move. "I can't let anyone else I know see me like this...I'm a mess, Zack." That much was obvious; her face was red and puffy from crying, she couldn't keep herself from shaking, and so long as she kept her mind on the stupid, stupid idea of messing things up she could drive her attention away from what was seriously wrong with her at that very moment.

Was it the hormones or something?

Zack hesitated, then gently reached out to brush back her hair. He wasn't intending to make the touch seductive or anything but comforting - Guy needed that now, and only that. He intended to make sure that Guy wasn't forced into any more uncomfortable positions. "Alright... we'll stay here. But why are you so spooked by this, Guy? You've never been like this before."

Guy closed her eyes; the question was inevitable, really. Although with Zack, she didn't have to be so strong all the time, there was also missing the part about the, 'I have a painful past,' bit that she would now have to explain. Lifting her eyes and focusing on his-
God, they really were pretty, with that glow and everything- Guy took a deep breath and began her story. As long as she didn't look down at herself...

"When I was five, the manor I lived at was attacked. Everyone inside was killed; guards, servants, the noble family living there. My sister and the maids...were all killed protecting me. Their bodies fell atop me, and...when I was found later, I was unconscious beneath them, with their blood all over me. Since then I've been afraid of women, and..." Guy swallowed, clenching her hands into fists to quell the shaking. "I...don't know what to d-do with myself right now..."

Oh. Oh.

Shit. He was treading on unfamiliar territory here.

"Dammit..." Zack grit his teeth, hand tightening lightly on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Guy... no wonder you're freaked by all of this." Damned Malnosso... they shouldn't have done this to Guy! It was beyond cruel. "There must be something I can do for you..."

But what could he do? It wasn't like he could reverse the Malnosso's effects, much as he wanted to. I hate this...!

"No, it's...fine. Having someone else here is enough." It was, kind of, but the fact that it was Zack made it a little better. But Luke...

"I'd put the past behind me finally, it's just...this stupid fear now." Laughing lightly, she scratched her cheek and gave him a shaky, sheepish grin. "You'd think I could get over it by now, since I know what caused it. Ah ha..."

"Childhood fears aren't that easy to get rid of," Zack muttered, shifting to sit beside her instead of crouching. "I can't say I really understand what you've been through, but I know how paralyzing fear can be. However long this lasts, I want you to know that I'll do everything I can to help you... even protect you, if that's what you need." He smiled confidently. "But I bet you can handle anything that comes at you, even with how you are now. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, Guy."

... That was such a weird name for a girl as sexy as this.

"Heh...thanks, but I don't need you to protect me. Just...this is enough." Leaning slightly against him, her shoulder to his bicep, she sighed and rests her temple against his upper arm, closing her eyes.

"I shouldn't have turned him away...no...I shouldn't have let him come here in the first place, but I was scared." How odd that it was so easy to admit her fears to what was essentially a stranger. "But when I saw him, I knew I wanted to see him again when I was me..." Fighting the urge to look down at herself, Guy spread her hands and shrugged. "I'm just not me right now...and I don't mean p-physically." She pointedly ignored the catch in her voice and hoped Zack would do the same.

Zack pursed his lips, lifting an arm to wrap around her shoulders comfortingly. If Guy wouldn't let him protect her - that was predictable, really, so he didn't let himself feel disappointed - then he'd do his best to take care of her any way he could.

"I think you both need some time to sort out your thoughts," he responded, hand lifting to scratch his nose uneasily. He was better at cheering people up than dealing with problems, to be honest. "You guys are close friends, right? So it's only natural that you'd rush to help each other. But it's not a good idea right now. Not when the wound's still so fresh. That's why you left, isn't it?"

Noticing the fidgeting and feeling a little bad for putting Zack out, Guy leaned against him, turning him into a rather comfortable and manly Zackpillow. "Yeah...but I just don't know what to do. I mean, even if it was short and I was a stubborn jerk through the whole thing, what you and I had felt real at the time and I...liked it. A lot."

Feeling her cheeks heat up, Guy scowled; did girls blush easier or something? Not to mention this sudden urge to talk about her feelings, and -well, if she didn't know any better- actually settle down. God, she hoped it was just a phase with the experiment and that she wouldn't actually begin nesting. Then again, she was twenty-one, at that age where women-

No. Do not even indulge that train of thought, Guy.

Shaking her head, Guy continued. "And I couldn't help but wonder if...we decided to try, if we could get that feeling back. I mean, I'm in love with Luke -or I thought I was- or maybe I still am?- but things between us are just so tense...and it's never been like that with him before." What was she saying? Zack didn't want to hear about her relationship troubles! Argh, this experiment better not last very long...

Zack blinked. Huh. That was new. He'd been talking about Luke - why the sudden change to things between them? Not that he was about to complain, since he kind of liked where things were going, but still.

He scratched the back of his head and glanced down, attempting to meet Guy's eyes. They really were the prettiest colour. "I liked it too. A lot, actually. And I wouldn't mind trying things out - you're a really great person, Guy, and I'd like to know you better, if you're cool with that. I just don't want to screw around with the relationship you and Luke have. Friendship's the most important thing, and you guys are lifelong buddies, right? You gotta focus on what you want with Luke before you think about what you want with me."

Hopefully that came out alright.

Maybe not his words, but the overall theme was starting to sound extremely familiar, and not for the first time Guy wondered if she ever frustrated anyone with this attitude. Not that she didn't see his point; hell, she acknowledged it herself, and there really wasn't a way to refute it.

Luke was the center of her world...and she'd hurt him terribly with her lack of restraint. Maybe if she'd told him sooner, instead of letting it bottle up...

But Zack; she might never have met Zack, if that had happened. And even if they weren't in love, Zack was a fantastic person, and if it weren't for what he had with Luke, Guy would've probably taken up Zack on his offer. He was funny, considerate, easy-going, attractive -good Lorelei was he attractive- and just an all-around good guy.

But...Luke was Luke. "Yeah...I know. But that doesn't mean I have to avoid you completely, right?" A friendship with Zack would be wonderful, Guy knew already. He was warm, he was comforting and he was there...and Guy could be weak in front of him and not think less of himself for it. Zack just had that...feeling.

Zack smiled at that. This, he could handle. He gave her hair a gentle ruffle, the touch both affectionate and playful. "Of course not! We're friends, right?"

He had a love/hate relationship with those words - god did he ever miss Spike - but Guy deserved to hear them. He wasn't about to abandon his friendship, especially not when it was so young. Even Sephiroth hadn't lost his trust completely, after all he'd done. More than that, it seemed like Guy needed him for more than just a simple romance. Maybe it was something like he himself had - his friendship with Sephiroth was different than his friendship with Cloud. Luke wasn't weak by any means, but... maybe Guy still needed someone stronger.

"Yeah..." Guy closed her eyes, sinking completely against Zack, feeling weary and worn down despite the fact that she'd woken only an hour before. Her hands had finally stopped shaking, but she was still feeling a little jumpy. The warmth at her side was helping with that, though.

Was this what it was like to feel protected?

Zack smiled, resting against the wall of the cave and holding Guy close. She was starting to settle, it seemed. That was a relief.

"Guy, will you be alright?" he murmured, resting his head lightly on hers. He hoped he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. Personal space wasn't usually an issue with him.

Guy hesitated when Zack's chin settled atop her her before answering haltingly. "I...think so. I mean...as long as I don't really think about it, I'll be okay. I just have to...pretend I'm still a man. I guess." It was a poor solution, but it was all she really had.

Guy shifted her weight to lean more against Zack's chest, hoping she wasn't being to forward but really needing the contact at the moment, and sighed through her nose, feeling the tension starting to ebb from her neck and shoulders. "...thanks, Zack."

"It's nothing, Guy," Zack shook his head, brows furrowing. "I know you hate this - the change, being scared, all of it - so I want to do what I can to help. I know it's not much, but it's something, right?"

He wondered if there was some way for him to keep Guy distracted, but aside from talking, nothing appropriate came to mind. So he did his best to keep the conversation going.