lucetilogs | There'll be trouble when the kidz come out

[Billy doesn't even look. The arm around him, Teddy's voice- it's enough to make him shift, lean in, and bury his face without shame against Teddy's shoulder, trembling as he tries to hold back a sob. It's been awful, and the only thing that's holding him together right now - barely - is the fact that he and Tommy are safe, and alive, and healthy. But at this rate, who knows how long that'll last?]

[Teddy shuts his eyes and shifts to put his other arm around Billy, though he can't help wincing when he fists his hand in Billy's shirt.

It has been awful, but Teddy has to keep it together for Billy's sake. For both of their sakes. But... But Captain America is dead. The younger Loki is dead. He'd helped Kotetsu fight, but they'd witnessed such horror and felt the helplessness of being a hero and letting so many people down...

He's tempted to cry right there with Billy, and he even clenches his fists again and presses his mouth against his boyfriend's shoulder. But he'll hold it back as best as he can. Billy needs him and his strength right now.]

[It takes a while for Billy to muster the strength and the words to speak- his voice keeps fading in and out, wavering between sobs, and he's trying so hard to be gentle with Teddy, knowing all too well that he's injured, but it's hard to remember when all he wants to do is grab ahold and cling for dear life.]

...I don't- [His breath hitches again, and he gulps, swallowing that choking lump in his throat.] ...I don't know what to do, Teddy... I want to get out of here, but- but we can't-

[Running away- after losing Cap, so many others- it seems wrong. Like they'd be giving up what they died for.]

[After all they've been through, Teddy can't blame him. He wants to get out just as badly; more than that, he wants his teammates to get out. Billy and Tommy - he wants them safe. But they're all heroes. They don't run, especially when so many others have died fighting against the virus until they just couldn't.

He narrows his eyes, if only to try holding back that sting in his own eyes, as he raises his injured hand to stroke Billy's hair. This doesn't hurt as bad, and - anything, anything to help Billy, anything to let him know he's here.]

I know... I know.

[He leaves a kiss on the shoulder he's got his mouth against, then moves his head to press it against the side of Billy's.]

If you want to get out... I won't stop you. I'll go with you, and we'll take Tommy with us.

But there are still people out there who need us, still people who're staying. And... Billy, we're not just heroes.

We're Avengers.

[... Well. Young ones. But all the same. People have died, heroes have died. Teddy, at least, thinks that even without their powers, even though this is so hard, they ought to do this Avenging thing.]

[He's right- they could leave. Evacuate with the others, leave this desolate place behind. It's not that they're going to be of much use anyway; with Teddy wounded and he and Tommy bearing rather unremarkable physical strength when depowered, they're just a bunch of kids getting in the way. They could get out.

But...

To what? The village? Turn tail and run and pretend that everything's fine? That they didn't just abandon a battlefield, leave god-knows who else to die? If there's even just one person that them staying behind could save... just one...

It would be worth it.

Because they're heroes.

Because they're Avengers.

He doesn't trust his voice yet, too shaken by his own indecision, his fear, his misery. But he does shake his head, fingers tightening in Teddy's shirt, all but trying to burrow right into him. No. They're Avengers. They can't just run away.

He wants to. God, he wants to. But they can't.]

[With the way Billy's reacting, it might seem like he can't accept it, like he's still scared. But Teddy can tell. They're not running, and they both know it.

They both want to go; they really are just kids, after all. Kids who are seeing far too much for ones their age. But they can't, and they're not going to. As long as there's one person who still needs to be saved, one person who doesn't belong here as much as they do, then it'll be worth it.

But staying could also mean losing each other...

That thought makes him tighten his hold on Billy and tilt his head down to press it against the hollow of his neck, and finally, he lets the tears he'd been desperately trying to hold back fall. He knows - Every time they fight, he knows the risks. He knows that either he or Billy could get killed, no matter how hard they try to protect each other.

He knows the risks, but the thought of it happening still makes his heart hammer in his chest, his lungs burn, and his throat to clench.

No. He won't let it happen. They'll stay with each other, watch each other's backs, no matter their strength, no matter the injuries. Damn his wrist for being sprained, damn him for not knowing what to do with a sprained wrist, damn this virus for making people go crazy and killing off heroes and allies and enemies alike, damn this whole situation.

Teddy isn't about to let anyone else he's close to die on his watch.]

Edited 2012-10-30 08:26 (UTC)

[It takes a long moment for Billy to notice, but when he feels a sudden wetness against his neck, he stiffens, then carefully pulls back, extracting himself from Teddy's embrace enough to face him properly. His hands slide up, touching Teddy's cheeks, and he leans in to press his forehead against his boyfriend's, thumbs brushing over the tears on his face.

It's rare, so rare that Teddy cries. And it's one more reminder that he's not the only one suffering here, that even with how weak, helpless, and pathetic he is like this, there are still some people he can be strong for.

Teddy's always made him strong- made him want to be strong, so he has someone worthy and capable to rely on.]

We... we'll be okay. We'll be okay... T... we'll be...

[...Well. Being strong for Teddy doesn't mean he's going to stop crying, unfortunately. But whether it's here, or back home, right now, or in the future, he's never going to let Teddy cry alone.]

[Once Billy moves back enough to look at him, Teddy shuts his eyes at first and grits his teeth behind his lips. He doesn't like crying. Even with Billy, he doesn't like it. Not initially, anyway. It always makes him feel worse, always makes him feel embarrassed, always makes him feel weak.

But... If they're going to cry, if they're going to ride through the horror of this war, then they should do it together. Teddy already feels completely useless - weak, helpless, pathetic, and injured on top of that. He can't do anything.

Still. He'll do everything in his power, no matter how limited it is.

It's with that thought that he opens his eyes to look into those brown eyes across from his, which are just as wet as his are, and reach his own hands up to rest on Billy's wet cheeks, thumbs brushing over the tears despite one being slower than the other at it. Just because Teddy feels a sort of strength rather than a weakness, crying here together like this, doesn't mean that he's going to stop.]

We will be, Billy. [He shuts his eyes again, his breath hitching while he presses closer.] I swear - I'm going to get us out of here. I won't - We'll be okay.

[And despite his voice cracking in the middle of that, he means every word. He will get them out of there. They will fight, they will be heroes, but they're all coming back.]

[Billy shudders, attempting a smile before giving up, knowing how pathetic it looks, and just rests there, holding Teddy while Teddy holds him, unwilling to move an inch. He's not thinking what he might usually have thought, seeing his boyfriend like this- that it doesn't happen often, that he should encourage him to get it all out there, that it's not healthy to let out his feelings.

Not now. Right now he's thinking, we need this. Both of them, together. So that neither of them have to be alone.

He nods his head, forehead brushing over Teddy's at the motion, and closes his eyes, blocking out everything except the sound and the feel of the one he loves most in the world. They'll be okay. They'll get out of this together, somehow.]

[And Teddy knows - no matter what happens, he'll be keeping that promise. No matter what.

On the 30th, Teddy has his own spark, even though everything still aches on him and he occasionally has to say something about it, especially his wrist, which is wrapped up now. He keeps quiet about it all most of the time though, knowing that others are suffering more than he is.

Again, he'd been staying close to Billy. And right now, Billy seems to be having trouble with one of the supply boxes and how heavy it is, so Teddy goes to him, taps his shoulder with a smile, then reaches his arms to take the box -

Only to widen his eyes and grit his teeth because it is heavy, much more than he expected. He can hold it, much easier than Billy seemed to be implying, but still. It was a surprise, coming from someone who'd never had to deal with something being too heavy.

And his wrist protests, too. Ugh.

But he'll grin anyway as he moves the box to heft it up on his left shoulder.]

It's okay, just heavier than I thought. [And that is something he never thought he had to say.]

[Any other time, Billy would've found it funny - it's so unusual for Teddy to struggle with anything so menial, it's ridiculous. Teddy's the strongman of the group. Can bench-press a car on a bad day. (He'd really like to brag about that.) Seeing him like this should be downright silly.

But it's not funny- not now. Not with Teddy in pain, unable to defend himself the way he's used to, with the sort of power he grew up just knowing he had. It's a bizarre sort of tip to the scales that suddenly made them almost equal, physically. Sure, Teddy still worked out very differently than Billy, so he could still carry a greater weight, but his injury wasn't making it easy on him. Which meant that Billy had to be much more careful.

Truth be told, he'd have been happier if Teddy had stayed back at the safehouse, where he'd be protected and out of danger. But he seriously doubts that conversation would have gone over very well...

The smile he offers his boyfriend is strained at best, but there, as he hefts his own box with both hands, starting for the road back.]

Not so easy, being normal, is it?

[It bothers Teddy much more than he'd like to admit. He'd kept it under wraps because Billy had been so unsettled about his loss of magic, and he didn't want to burden him with his own issues.

But he'd grown up stronger than the other kids, able to heal from a cut much faster than others, and as a child he always just assumed that everyone else could do it too. It was just something he always had, and now, to lose it...

It's a lot like losing a limb you always used. And being in pain all the time just makes it all the better.

It's easy to keep it under wraps, though. It's easy, and he can tell that Billy knows it bothers him. That's enough for him.

He offers a smile in return, not quite as strained, but still tired, and he walks a little closer to give his boyfriend a light bump with his hip.]

I don't see how you do it. Here I thought I couldn't respect you more than I already did.

Well. I'm never going to protest the idea of looking better in your eyes.

[Billy returns the bump carefully, keeping to the left side to avoid accidentally jostling Teddy's arm. The last thing he wants to do is cause Teddy more pain or remind him of the fact that he's still hurt. He's very much aware of how he's bothered by it, even with how skilled he is at hiding it, usually. He can often tell even with the shapeshifting ability - it just comes with time, when you know someone this long (and so intimately) - but with that ability lost, it's all the more clear.

Not for the first time, he wishes (ha ha) that he could magic it all back, but unfortunately, they're both stuck with this for now. They just have to keep going until it's sorted.]

Are you kidding? You're perfect in my eyes.

[And he twists enough to give Billy a kiss on the cheek. It was true; Even without his magic, Billy was still amazing to him. Still fighting, still helping as much as he could, still being a hero... If only Billy could see it somehow.]

[Billy smiles at that, resting his head briefly on Teddy's shoulder before he gets back to walking, the gesture both grateful and appreciative.]

Nobody's perfect, T. That's kind of the point.

[That earns a raised eyebrow, and wow, Teddy would love to give him a playful little shove on the shoulder, but alas. One arm is full and the other would hurt if he tried it.]

Oh, so you don't really mean it when you call me perfect?

No, you're allowed to be perfect, because you're you.

[It's too bad that neither of them have superhuman hearing, because there's some shuffling going on in the alley down the street from them, and they're too busy chatting to notice.]

I call foul, Kaplan. [He keeps his eyes on Billy; they're both still dirty and tired and probably smell, but he's still amazing to him.] You can't just say I'm allowed to be perfect and not let me say the same about you.

[But since his eyes are on Billy and he's busy chatting (more like being sickening again), he doesn't notice the shadows in the alley, or the shuffling noises.]

I'm allowed to say whatever I want. [And in a bout of extreme maturity, he sticks out his tongue to accent his reply. The conversation is so innocent and familiar, it's almost enough to make him forget where they are and what's going on around them.]

Oh, like that's mature. [Teddy raises an eyebrow at first, then feels a smile quirk up before he sticks out his own tongue, a chuckle working its way out of him because of it. It really is so innocent, just like back home, like walking home together.]

[And, of course, that just has to be shattered when he glances ahead again, if only to watch where they're going, only for that smile to wipe off his face and for the supply box to drop off his shoulder as he lets go of it to reach for the makeshift bo staff strapped to his back.]

Shit, Billy! [He moves in front of him, both to block his path and to get in between him and what's in front of him.

Zombies. They heard them talking to each other, and more and more of them shamble out of the alleyway towards them, reaching out, clawing at the air.

Dammit, he should've known they weren't totally safe. Teddy grits his teeth and tightens his grip on the broken spear, holding it with both hands now despite how stiff his right hand feels and how much it makes pain flare in his forearm.

They're not out of the woods yet.]

[Billy's smile fades at Teddy's tone, following his gaze and letting his box of supplies drop as well. He goes for his own weapon, the staff he'd managed to have summoned before the power removal was in place, stepping up to stand beside Teddy. He's the injured one, he has no business getting all protective right now.]

Looks like we were too slow... should we make a run for it?

[Though if they do that then the trek for the supplies would just be a waste... dammit.]

[Teddy glances down at the supplies, then at the zombies. That's their last couple of boxes, and they contain some important things, like food and medical items. It'd be safer to run away, yes, but can they afford to leave those things? Especially with the safehouse needing them right now?

Truth be told, he'd be happier if Billy grabbed the items and fled while he himself fought off the zombies. But he's sure that'll go over badly, so instead, he briefly lets go of the staff to touch Billy's elbow.]

We need those supplies. Let's fight them back, get those boxes, and get out of here.

Okay- okay, we can do this...

[Wow, Teddy, are you ever lucky you're not speaking those thoughts aloud. There aren't that many zombies though, really, so Billy just nods and jerks back as the first shambler lunges at him, side-stepping and twisting his staff to knock the monster square in the back of the head. It seems enough to spur the rest into action, rushing forward, and it's all Billy can do to fend them off on his side.]

[On the other side, Teddy's doing just about as well as Billy. He can hit harder, and one swift hit to one of the zombie's legs makes it crumple to the ground, then give it a good knock on the back of its head while it falls to keep it down. But while he is more of a heavy hitter, he also has the disadvantage of his wrist hurting so much. Every hit makes his jaw tighten and his teeth to grit, and he has to let out a hiss and let go of the staff with one hand occasionally.

But he still gets his hand back on and swings with all his might at a zombie's stomach and makes it go flying, not nearly as far as it would if he still had his strength, but impressively all the same.

In a matter of minutes, there are only three on Billy's side and four on Teddy's, yet more seem to be coming. Teddy himself notices that there's a path to the supplies, so he takes a glance at the zombies, then makes a dash for it.

If Teddy can just grab some of the supplies, maybe not the whole box, but a bag of food, maybe a roll of bandage, they can run, get out of there before the reinforcements arrive. But it's just as he slides down on his knees, tears the box open and gets his hands on one of the bandages that it happens.

It's like a rock just hit the side of his head, and that's about what happened, too. Pain through his whole head is just about the only thing he registers after that, and the ground beneath him, and the way the world keeps tilting this way and that while his temple throbs with pain, and - is that blood? It must be. But he isn't sure. All he knows is that the world is just tipped upside down and right side up and down again when one of the zombies drags him up by his hoodie, and he's so blinded by pain and dizziness hat he doesn't even register it happening, merely hangs in the zombie's grip while cringing and holding his head.

Perfect for the zombie, really.]

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