lucetilogs | Happy Birthday to You...

Who: The Everdeen sisters and whoever knows them (plus dates, if applicable)
What: Belated birthday party for Prim.
When: Starting Saturday evening (6/8), around 5 PM.
Where: House 43
Summary: Thanks to the spirit possessions, Katniss cancelled the original party she had planned. Time for Surprise Party #2!
Rating: PG/PG-13 if any fights break out?

She had gotten up early to make certain everything was perfect. Double checked that all the bedroom locks worked, moved all of the valuables out of the living area and into Sharpe's bedroom. And then she cleaned the house more thoroughly than she had in a long, long time.

Hours later, with Aang's help, everything seemed perfect. The inside of the house was decorated with crepe streamers. Though there was an emphasis on blue, she made certain to alternate with other colors: whites and greens and purples and reds. Balloons floated along the ceiling, interspersed among strings of twinkling lights. A huge banner reading "Happy Birthday Primrose!" hung across the space between living room and kitchen.

Food covered every available surface, bowls and plates and bowls of punch and other drinks resting on top of blue paper table cloths. Peppermints and chocolates and other sweets covered the dining room table, with a two-tiered cake in the center. It had been pushed against one of the walls to make space for dancing and talking. In the kitchen, various dinners - stews and roasted meats and an assortment of vegetables and starches - covered the counters. Snack type foods were scattered both inside and out, a mix of cheeses and crackers, vegetables and fruits.

Extra chairs surrounded a table in the backyard, which had been equally decorated. Balloons were tied to chairs and a mixture of streamers and lights hung over any tree branches that crossed into the yard. In one corner, a goat stood tied up to a poll with a pink bow around her neck. Space had been provided for a D.J. table if Teddy or Sabriel grew tired of playing.

Everything seemed perfect. She only hoped that Prim would love it, too.

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It is when you are like this.

[He reached up to touch her cheek, the dimples that appear when she smiles. Sneaky, subtle things that they are.]

When you are joyful, Katniss, you glow. It radiates from you.

[Her smile broadened at his touch, the reassurance that she had not said - or done - the wrong thing. He wasn't upset with her. Didn't find her attempt at a joke to be insulting in the slightest. She rested her cheek against his palm, hoping she didn't look as embarrassed as she felt.

Or that he'd notice when she rolled her eyes in an attempt to lessen the embarrassment.]

You sound a little like Peeta right now.

[Oh he noticed, he would be a poor assassin indeed were he unable to read her at least a little, and after he has had the time to learn the nuances of her expressions? It would make him a terrible friend. He was neither of these things and responds accordingly.]

He was a man of vision and fine taste. Also a man of broad shoulders and very fine hands.

[Her bashful smile tinged with sadness at Zevran's description, guilt following slowly after. It had been six months since she had awoken to discover him gone. Six months and she still missed him a good most of the time. But it didn't hurt as much as it did before. Not when she had Prim here. Had close friends. Even a boyfriend. People that seemed to, on some level or another, care for her.

She swallowed hard, unable to say anything in response. Would he be angry with her if he ever returned? Hurt by her attempts to move on? Those thoughts plagued her at nights at times. But not more so than they did now, how she felt when hearing Peeta's name.]

Katniss.

[He slows the dance long enough to turn her chin up and her eyes back to his with a gentle hand, if she permits it. If not he'll lean forward and murmur into her ear, the embrace more one of affection than one for dancing. Either way the words are the same.]

He wanted you happy. More than anything else he wished for you to have joy. No man in love would begrudge the one they care for their joy.

[It's an extension of the trust, of the comfortableness she feels around the elf, that she doesn't pull away. She can't quite bring herself to meet his eyes but she doesn't blatantly look away either. Not until he tilts her head enough to whisper in her ear words that make her tear up. Her eyes close for a long second before she blinks rapidly.

She won't cry. She won't cry.]

All I've ever done is hurt him, Zev. If he ever came back... I don't know what I'd do if he came back. If he ever came back.

That is something that has yet to come to pass. If it happens? It happens. If it does not, it does not. Today, live in the moment. Be joyful. Your younger sister is having a wonderful day because you made it possible. No one that gives so much care to someone dear to them can truly hurt someone else they love beyond reconciliation.

[The dance slows to a stop and Zev tucks Katniss close, rubbing her back in slow circles.]

He would want you happy. Whether he is here or not, that remains true.

[Live in the moment. That's what she was trying to do. It had been how she had been trying to live every day since Prim's arrival. Because if her sister leaves, that's it. She'll never get another chance to see Prim were Katniss to return to Panem. And she can't think of that. She can't live each and every day here worrying that she might never see her sister again.

She sighs and rests her head against his chest, taking comfort in his embrace. Peeta would want her to be happy. Most of the time, she can believe that. She can think that he wouldn't want her to be alone, that he'd want her to find all the fun and joy she possibly could in this world.

And then, other times? Times like this? Any confidence fades away.

Quietly,] I still don't think I deserve to be happy.

[It was the first lesson any Crow learned. Live in the moment. Dwell upon what was done to you to make you what you were, and you would go mad. Think too much about the future aside from planning your next move- and you would go mad. Live in the present, laugh at death, never open your heart. He's managed two of the tree; though he cannot say that breaking the last as done anything but help him do the first two all the more.

Still and solid and present for Katniss he breathes. Holds her close and thinks for what would not be the last time that this must be what it felt like to have and care for family.]

It does not matter whether you deserve happiness or not, Katniss. It matters that you allow yourself to be happy when you can. I do not deserve to live- to love, to have someone like you to care for and hunt with. But I take them all the same because I wish to, and to do otherwise is invite misery in a life that is short enough without adding to it.

[And he had far, far more deaths to his name than she did. Deaths he was actually responsible for, directly the cause of. Not like her, who got so many people killed because they stupidly believed in her. In the Mockingjay. Those deaths, the deaths Zevran had caused, had to weigh more. At least when nightmares were concerned.

And he was happy. He had people he loved. People who loved him back, too. Katniss would never once say he didn't deserve such a life. He was her friend. He had been there for her time and time again. Of course he deserved everything.

Peeta would want her to be happy, right? And Sokka... Sokka made her happy.

She hugged him again and mumbled against his chest,] Thanks, Zevran.

[He tucked her head under his chin and settled happily into a familiar embrace- something he did not think he might have cause to experience after leaving the Crows, after Rinna. And yet in this place he had made a place for himself- it had very nearly been a year now that he thought of it. A year that he'd known Katniss. A year since they began to hunt together.

Something worth mentioning later, when she was smiling and bright again.]

You are welcome. You are always welcome to come to me should you need the reminder that you've as much a right to joy as anyone else.

[She also suspects - a good most of the time - that she doesn't deserve a friend like Zevran either. Someone who really does have her back. Who would, unlike Gale, die protecting her family. Who would also kill her if she begged him for it. After her fall out with Gale, she had never thought that she could have such a friend again. Or would even want one.

She smiled against his chest and closed her eyes, the music causing her to sway back and fro with him. A simple, slow dance. Nothing too spirited. Just a chance to take comfort in her friend's embrace.]

You too. [Said quietly as she kept dancing.] If you ever need that reminder, don't hesitate. Okay?

I will not.

[It would be a disservice to them both to do so. With Jack and Eugene he had less reason to think himself a Crow and more to think himself simply Zevran- but with Katniss he can remember both and know that he was allowed to be happy as much as anyone else. That blood or pain or murder did not render him hollow. If he could yet feel joy he had the right to live with it.

As did she.

As did all those that survived things that forced their hands to blades they'd have not sought out on their own.]

Happy Birthday to You...

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