Nagato Uzumaki (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
teachingpeace) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lucetilogs2013-07-18 06:29 pm
teachingpeace) wrote in lucetilogs2013-07-18 06:29 pm
Visiting the Uzumakis
Who: Nagato, Naruto, Konan, Kushina, Minato, and eventually Kakashi.
What: Paying a house visit
When: July 16th
Where: Uzumaki residence
Summary: Nagato has been invited over by Naruto. This could be awkward.
Rating: PG-13 until further notice!
Nagato could honestly say that he was actually a bit nervous about this visit. Yes, he knew that Naruto didn't live alone, but that wasn't the part that was really causing him to hesitate and over think everything.
He couldn't, for the life of him, recall ever being 'invited over' by someone before.
Konan and Yahiko didn't count for that, for obvious reasons, and after he'd ended up in charge of things for the Akatsuki... people had backed off a bit and hadn't gotten as friendly with him on a personal level. That meant he was at a loss, and he suddenly wished that he'd been willing to ask Konan to come with him instead of being awkward about absolutely everything and having her meet him.
For someone who had spent so long being a 'god', he was feeling highly human just now as he finally brought his hand up to knock on the door, steeling himself and hoping he didn't make any disastrous mistakes.
He could do a visit without anything going wrong, right?
What: Paying a house visit
When: July 16th
Where: Uzumaki residence
Summary: Nagato has been invited over by Naruto. This could be awkward.
Rating: PG-13 until further notice!
Nagato could honestly say that he was actually a bit nervous about this visit. Yes, he knew that Naruto didn't live alone, but that wasn't the part that was really causing him to hesitate and over think everything.
He couldn't, for the life of him, recall ever being 'invited over' by someone before.
Konan and Yahiko didn't count for that, for obvious reasons, and after he'd ended up in charge of things for the Akatsuki... people had backed off a bit and hadn't gotten as friendly with him on a personal level. That meant he was at a loss, and he suddenly wished that he'd been willing to ask Konan to come with him instead of being awkward about absolutely everything and having her meet him.
For someone who had spent so long being a 'god', he was feeling highly human just now as he finally brought his hand up to knock on the door, steeling himself and hoping he didn't make any disastrous mistakes.
He could do a visit without anything going wrong, right?
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Nagato! You're just in time, come in, come in!
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I did try...
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So did you tell Konan to come too or what?
[Peeking out of the door IS SHE HERE TOO?]
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She said she would be by as soon as possible. I told her rather at the last minute that I was coming.
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[So she's coming soon, huh? He'll close the door for now, pointing towards the kitchen.]
Er-- it's this way.
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How does one house guest? HOW?]
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Say hi to my Mom and Dad!
[Just going to drop that bombshell on you right before you meet them you're welcome buddy.]
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He looked over at Naruto in vague alarm, coming to a halt because what? Unfortunately for him Naruto was right behind him so the success of this move was questionable.]
Both?
idk what im doooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiing anymore
When she hears Naruto, her watering pauses and she tries to listen from her spot, brow pulling down at the second voice. Eventually she appears around the corner and into the living area to see who he's brought over this time.
At the sight of bright red, straight hair she gasps quietly.
Only one thought goes through her head: Minato. Where's Minato?]
Here, have a Konan for even more confusion
Konan wasn't sure of what sort of refreshments would be there at the Uzumaki household. She didn't want to presume that it was a potluck dinner, but she also didn't want to show up empty handed, either. Especially not when she was trying to smooth things over. Things would be awkward between Minato and Nagato. Even moreso than they were between Minato and herself. Still, Naruto had welcomed them both, and she and Kushina were talking to one another.
In the end, she'd settled on a small assortment of desserts in a box prepared fresh by the local bakery. There were strawberry tarts, little croissants, and chocolate chip cookies. She showed up a few minutes after Nagato, knocking on the door with the box tucked under her arm.
the more the merrier!!!
He was at the back doing some gardening when he heard Naruto brought someone over. Well, if it's someone good as Kakashi then by all means, he'll greet their esteemed guest. Knowing that Kushina's watering the plants, he approaches her, thinking it'd be better if they greet the guest together.
Although, his smile fades when he spots her expression.]
Kushina, what's wrong?
[And then, from afar, he can sense someone's chakra. It's familiar yet he doesn't exactly know why she's here.]
I can sense someone's by our door. Did you invite someone, too?
MERRIER AHAHAHA...
[She scrambles to make her expression more neutral and not so panicked but it's hard. Seeing Nagato, knowing the man that killed Minato's beloved sensei and idol is in the next room over makes her antsy for her husband's sake. There would be no fighting in her house but the thing she wants to see the least is Minato hurting.
She had been working to get him to accept Konan again, she was a nice woman, but Minato was almost as stubborn as she was sometimes. While it frustrated her, she could also understand his pain. She didn't push it much. They have enough on their plate as it is...]
Just... wait here, okay? Don't move. I mean it! I'll know if you move.
I'll be right back, I promise.
[And before he can answer she whirls out of the kitchen and runs to the door, FLYING PAST NARUTO AND NAGATO IN A BLUR OF RED, to the front door.
Speak of the devil. Kushina's mouth gapes open like a fish out of water while she falters for something to say.
Sudden realization slams into her brain hard enough that her mouth snaps shut, teeth clicking and eyes clearing.]
Naruto invited you two over. ['I'm Naruto's friend' Nagato had said and she already knew Naruto and Konan knew each other too.
She REALLY needed to talk to Naruto about surprising them with guests. Minato too, though Kakashi she didn't mind at all. There had to be a rule about people they hadn't formally met before now -- Naruto HAD to tell them because things like this made Kushina's brain struggle for responses.]
..
He did. I thought he would have mentioned it to you.
[She'd thought it was intended as an evening to get on better terms, to discuss things and then put the past in the past. She knew Naruto could be impulsive, but she was a bit surprised at him that he hadn't given his parents prior notice.]
My apologies. I would have contacted you or suggested a more neutral location otherwise.
[This is going to be awkward, but she's more concerned about Nagato, Kushina, and Minato than she is for herself. She's already had the chance to familiarize herself with where she stands here, and knows which of the Konoha shinobi are on speaking terms with her vs. who would prefer to avoid her entirely.]
This is beautiful, so much
Especially since Naruto's mother apparently doesn't like him.]
Konan, you're here! [Then he turned to said woman and inclined his head.]
Kushina-san, it's good to see you again.
Naruto no
Right!
Mom! You gotta meet Nagato and Konan! Ero-sennin was their sensei too once, and.. well, a lot of bad stuff sorta happened when we first met [Killing Jiraiya, destroying Konoha, trying to kill/capture your son YOU KNOW..] but things are different now, we definitely all see eye-to-eye, right guys?
[RIGHT? He's looking at Nagato and Konan now.]
Oh yeah! This is my Mom! She's really cool, and so's my Dad, he was the Fourth Hokage y'know? Er- I dunno where he is though. Mom, where's Dad?
[ What a fun gathering this is going to be.]
1/2
Spending all this time with his sensei and Kushina again and making up for so much lost time wasn't something Kakashi ever thought possible. He's gotten used to navigating the sometimes crowded kitchen, smiling at Minato and Kushina in passing, and doing his best to prevent Naruto from seeing under his mask. Though he knows this certainly won't be a permanent arrangement, he's glad he stayed on when Minato insisted beyond the second night.
He can hear Naruto's voice out in the living room, and figures he must be out there with his mom, and gives Minato a nod in passing before he heads out to the living room, gaze quickly zooming in on the red streak of Kushina's hair and Naruto's back before moving on to their guests.
Ah, they have guests.
They have-- ]
2/3
Kakashi would recognize that woman anywhere. Konan. The woman from Akatsuki and Pain's companion.
His eye then travels to the man standing next to her. Red hair. Not orange. And for the fraction of a heartbeat, Kakashi is almost relieved, because Pain's hair was orange, not red. But then he sees those eyes.
Rings upon rings.
(The eyes of a man who thought himself to be a god.) ]
3/3
Why is he standing here at the door.
Kakashi knows this man somehow was convinced to trade his life for the lives of everyone he killed, but that doesn't change the fact that he is still a threat, and it certainly doesn't change the fact that he destroyed Konoha and killed everyone (Kakashi included) in the first place. It also doesn't bring back Jiraiya.
Glass shatters as he drops his drink and blurs into motion, and in a flash, he's moved from the kitchen doorway to the front door, and grabs Naruto and Kushina by the back of their shirts and yanks them both hard to send them staggering back behind him with the force of the pull. And in the next moment, he sinks down into a defensive protective position before Naruto and Kushina and yanks his hitai-ate up, training his Sharingan on Pain, adrenaline pulsing through his body, heart hammering in his chest. ]
Pain.
[ He grinds the name out with a heavy breath, fingers flexing. He doesn't have any weapons near him, because all he's wearing is his jounin shirt, pants, and hitai-ate, but hopefully the spike of killing intent in his chakra will alert Minato to arm himself. ]
beautiful but not merry ff goddamn this tag
She blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.]
No! Stop! Kakashi!
[It's not even to stop a fight from breaking out in her house (though that comes later, nobody is fighting in her nice home), but she could just feel that murderous intent. They might have been enemies but she couldn't just watch Kakashi, little Kakashi, slaughter these people who were living and breathing and had thoughts and emotions and were probably as uncomfortable as Kakashi and Kushina were by the looks on their faces.
And she will NOT let any sort of pain, physical or mental, come to Naruto if she can help it. Kakashi is threatening Naruto's friends. If Kakashi went after Nagato, she has a feeling Naruto won't stand for it either.
So she moves to stand beside Kakashi, shoving his arm out of the way and scowling at him.]
They're Naruto's friends, he invited them over without telling any of us.
[Though it looks like Kushina isn't particularly pleased about it either, she isn't throwing herself between the two and Naruto or radiating dangerous chakra. All she had been doing was glaring at the ground while Naruto attempted to make friendly introductions, and even when Nagato greeted her and Konan apologized for the sudden and unexplained arrival. Konan isn't a bad person, Kushina thinks, but she can't particularly trust her yet either. That was going to take time but she wants it to work because of Naruto. She'll try.
And because she had genuinely liked Konan before everything started spiralling out of control and she could only watch.
Nagato was a blank card. Other than what she heard and she usually reserved her own judgments about people and didn't listen to word of mouth or gossip. However, facts were facts and hard to ignore. Jiraiya could be alive in their world if it wasn't for Nagato. She wasn't even going to THINK about the possibility he might be Uzumaki, with that hair.
It's three on two anyway with the Yellow Flash and a previous jinchuriki on their side as well as a pissed of Kakashi. She doesn't think Nagato would try anything. He hasn't yet.
They see eye-to-eye. What does that even MEAN? That killing Jiraiya was okay? That coming to the house of the students who's sensei he KILLED was okay? That being captured was actually okay? She's getting frustrated.
And Minato is going to find them very soon after Kushina's cry even with her threat of not moving an inch.
She finally turns to look at Naruto now that it's obvious that something is very wrong with this picture. There's no happy chatting or getting to know each other like he had probably been hoping and she almost tears up because she understands he wishes the people he cares for to be together like this. But there's only frowning and defensive positions and a heavy feeling in her stomach that makes her feel sick knowing he might get hurt anyway.]
THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL TAG JUST SAYIN' BABY
Because they're Naruto's friends?
Oh, hell no.
Kakashi moves again just as Kushina tries to position herself to his side, sliding his foot in front of her so she can't take another step forward. He doesn't have any intention of attacking Pain -- he knows how stupid and foolish that would be, but he certainly doesn't intend to back down or let either of them step foot through the door of a house which belongs to his sensei.
All of this happens in a matter of seconds, and no sooner than the words had come out of Kushina's mouth, Kakashi snaps-- ]
I'm not letting a man who's responsible for the destruction of Konoha further into Yondaime-sama's house.
[ Kakashi says Yondaime and not Sensei, because Minato is the Hokage too, and this is the Hokage's place of residence. And Kakashi has a duty, beyond loyalty and personal attachments that he has to Minato, to protect him. Just as he has a duty to protect Naruto, as his sensei.
Without looking at Naruto, he continues, this time his voice even. ]
I don't know why you think you can trust him, Naruto, but in case you forgot, Jiraiya-sama wasn't the only one who he murdered. [ He says murder because that is what it was, plain and simple. There wasn't a war or any rules of engagement. It was murder, in cold blood, and Kakashi doesn't understand how Naruto can't see that. ] I don't particularly have any fond memories either, of being killed by this man.
[ Kakashi doesn't look away from Pain for even a moment. ]
u guys are all amazing uguuu
He first felt the chakra signature of the woman he talked to months ago but never talked to again. It was perplexing, having her here when she knows what transpired in her own household. He's not one to hold grudges but it's not exactly easy to forgive, knowing she has a hand in doing away one of the most important person in his life.
But Kushina's request glued him to the kitchen floor.
Her request, though, doesn't hold ground for too long.
The words being exchanged in the living room, especially when Kakashi charged with the murderous intent and the flare of a chakra he has never felt from him before, were all the reasons he needed to intervene.
Or maybe the desire to intervene already surged within his system the moment he heard one name.
Nagato.
It's almost as if everything else drowned in a sea of memories where Minato often declared words of praise to a perverted yet outstanding white-haired shinobi. Legend, even. He was that boy again who grew up, who worked so hard, to become a shinobi like his sensei because there can be no finer man than him.
"You're a man with a true skill… an example we should all follow. I can't think of a finer shinobi than you!"
After clenching his fists until they turned white, Minato reached inside his utility pocket for his special kunai.
Forgiveness and acceptance might take time, but more bloodshed when he can prevent it, is something that shouldn't take minutes to decide on. He's his sensei's student, a man who advocated for peace and the annihilation of a system that brings hatred.
It might be painful, and Kami knows he shed tears when he chose to be alone in the forest for an hour after talking to Konan. But even if pain makes him hate, his sensei taught him better.
"Pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow… and how you grow is up to you."
I can hear you.
Sensei.]
Stop.
[In a fleeting gust of faith and wind, Minato's instantly before Kakashi, before his family, and before their guests, as he slowly stands after picking up the kunai that was before him.]
There will be no fighting.
[His voice is calm and his expression neutral and without a mere glance, he continues.]
Kakashi, stand your ground. You are not going to attack them without my order.
Kushina, Naruto, please stay back.
[There's a brief intake of breath as he calms himself even more.
Is this what you want me to do, Sensei?]
I will talk to our guests.
How was I supposed to follow that up guys?!
But the words were out, and he had no time to even open his mouth to speak, to think, before the white haired man came charging into things, ratcheting the tension and filling the air with suffocating unease. That killer intent wasn't enough to bow him, but the words...
He deserved those words, recognized that face, but he could not undo the past. His limits were given with his life, and as he had been told the day before, even if he wished to there was nothing more he could give than that. He could give it over and over again, but it was all he had to give anyone, be it through living or dying... and he didn't bring up his guard. He didn't draw attention to Konan when those eyes, which looked so afraid in their deathly intent, were trained on him.
He did step away from Konan though, a single pace so she was no longer even at risk of being unable to retreat and kept his hands down, loose at his sides. He stood still and watched as Naruto's parents came to his rescue.
He knew it wasn't for his sake, and was unlikely to ever be so, not with this in the air, but he would not start any conflict. He refused. If the man ignored them, ignored the fine, strong people that Naruto's parents were, then he would dodge, defend, and go, nothing else. He wouldn't hurt him, or fight him with any kind of heart, because Naruto didn't deserve to see people he cared about in conflict.
He'd never wanted to inflict that on the blond again, and he simply couldn't fathom why the boy was so... so everything he couldn't be. Hadn't known how to be.
Perhaps he got it from his parents. First Kushina spoke... and then this other fellow student, one he'd only known as the 'Yondaime Hokage' before, and whom he'd known was dead. He'd never met him, never got a chance to see who it was that Jiraiya-sensei went home to teach. And now he had, and he wished that he'd met them, either of them, before he'd done what he'd done.
But, there was no turning back the clock. If anyone would have had that skill, it might have been him, given all his others, but... life, death, gravity itself...
Those were not time.
He finally took a deep breath, aware of that two tone gaze, of the grief and anger and pain that filled the room, filled the air, and very deliberately turned his ringed gaze to meet the blue that had come to focus on him instead. Not Naruto's eyes, too hard and hurt to be Naruto's eyes, but there was definitely something there, something that defined him as the same sort of person.
It only made him feel worse. However, all he could do was apologize and move forward. Be the person his sensei had hoped him to be, once upon a time, before grief had eaten its way through everything.
Thus, he slowly, carefully bowed his head, closing his eyes and staying peacefully still with his hands loose at his sides. His tone was quiet, but firm, because there was no point in sounding anything but as sincere as he was.]
Naruto, thank you for inviting me, us, to your home, but had I known I would have declined. I did not want to cause this sort of grief to you any more than I had before, and definitely not to your loved ones.
But now that I am here, I will simply apologize to both of you, Yondaime, Hatake-san. If everyone wishes for me to go, I'll go.
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Nor does she even want to fight them. She wants to be on peaceful terms with Konoha. Her first decision of her extremely limited term as Ame's leader was to pledge Ame's support to Konoha. A bouquet symbolizing hope and peace was passed from her hands to Naruto's.
And yet, she can't blame them for being tense. She and Nagato both have a lot to answer for. The problem is that she thought they were going to talk about it here and now, peacefully. She had no idea that Naruto wouldn't realize that she and Nagato were the sorts of friends of his that he needed to talk to his parents about before inviting over. Perhaps she should have known. Naruto had a capacity for forgiveness that few others possessed. It was why she could believe in him as a bridge to peace.
She listens first to Minato and then to Nagato before speaking herself.]
Please pardon the intrusion and the distress our presence here has caused. I sincerely believed that we were invited here to have a peaceful discussion and that everyone had been expecting us.
[She'll take ownership for this. It's not Nagato's fault, and Naruto's only fault was in not telling his parents to expect them. She could have contacted Naruto to ask him if he'd made sure the visit was all right with his family first and suggested an alternate meeting point upon finding out that he hadn't. She could have sent a message to Kushina, who she's at least on tentative speaking terms with. It's her fault for assuming and she won't let hide behind Nagato.]
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Naruto had forgiven them both long ago and the last thing they needed in Luceti was people butting heads over things like this, he really did have the best intentions in mind with inviting the two over, maybe if they could all just talk and begin to understand each other, it could give things a chance. Four of them here were students of Jiraiya, after all. It's what he would want, right?
After being yanked back by Kakashi then with the appearance of his Father, Naruto can only stand there, stunned for a few moments as the first few words are exchanged. He moves forward without even thinking about it, pushing past the adults in front of him so he's stood between the two groups. He's disobeying orders from both Kakashi and Minato and is probably going to be in trouble for it, but he'll accept that once all this tension has died down.]
Just.. stop it!
[It's a desperate yell, because right now his main concern is that someone will say something wrong, and a fight will break out. He doesn't know what to say yet, going with whatever words come to him.]
It's my fault this happened, so if you're gonna blame anyone then it's me, yeah? A lot of stuff happened, and a lot of it ain't good, but we're all in this place now and I think they're good people so we should talk about it y'know?
no subject
No, he's not about to blame anyone here. This isn't anyone's fault and the more he thinks about it, the more he begins to realize, as dark clouds separate to make way for light, that they are all victims of something far larger than Nagato or the group he created.
They are all victims of hatred.
He had heard from Kakashi himself that he, too, was killed by this man. And that hurts, and that brought more pain, but Minato knows that if he's to be consumed by more pain, he will hate.
And that will bring birth to another Nagato who was brainwashed by hatred.
He initially thought that meeting Nagato right after learning things from Konan will bring forth more hatred and for once, Minato was scared of himself. But he supposes the distance that he threw between him and Konan made him think things through. He would spend an hour or two just alone in the forest, clearing his thoughts, trying to come peace with his sensei's death, all the while revisiting his memories of the white-haired man and his teachings.
If he is to hate because of what happened to Jiraiya, and what Nagato did to Kakashi, that doesn't make him the better man that he proudly calls his sensei's student.
There are things that cannot be forgiven for there are things that can't be undone, but hatred is never the solution to anything, nor is meaningless fighting.
His sensei taught him that much.]
Naruto. [He reaches out a hand to pat his son's head.] I agree. We should talk. [He still doesn't agree that they're outright good people. Let Minato be the judge of that.]
No one will leave.
[And then gazing back at Nagato and Konan, he offers a small smile. It's hard, to smile amid the pain and to train once hard blue eyes into softness. But Minato will do it because hatred isn't the answer.]
I still haven't forgotten what happened to Sensei, what happened to Kakashi and to the rest of Konoha and how you both have played a part in it. But hatred isn't the solution to anything.
[His free hand goes for Kakashi's shoulder. Be at ease and don't let hatred consume you.]
Jiraiya-sensei once said that, "pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow… and how you grow is up to you." If you both have chosen the path to peace after all your mistakes and hardships, then I will accept it. That's what Sensei wanted for all of us, after all.
If anything, I'm beginning to realize that it's not "Pain" who killed Jiraiya-sensei but the system that brought birth to Pain. [That's what Kakashi first called him, right? Minato assumes that was his name before.]
This system that thrives in hatred and not in peace. So, if we want this system to be abolished, we must find peace within us first. And let pain allow us to grow into a better person.
crying loudly why do u guys do this
Kushina understands this. She lost her village, her people, her home before she decided she wanted Konoha to be her new one. She understands his anger but her expression doesn't break or falter. It only narrows a bit further at him as he continues to try and step in front of her.
But hating the people that destroyed her home didn't make her feel better. It didn't help anything. Being caught up in war for as long as she has, she had lost and watched others suffer. And so she stands here to protect life itself. Lives of two people who had obviously been in pain as well and hated as much as Kakashi does right now.
Kushina bites the inside of her cheek, making it bleed, and clenches her fist to stare hard at Kakashi. He never mentioned him dying by Nagato's, by Pain's hand. It's horrible timing and she feels like she's the only one who didn't know.
If she was going to ask Nagato if that was true it's cut off by the yellow flash of an arrival by Minato. If things were different, she would have teased him about 'making an entrance' like always. As it is, she lets out an indignant grunt and plants her feet when he tells her to stay back. If he moved when she told him not to, she's not budging a goddamn inch from her spot.
But she doesn't intervene, she watches and listens to Nagato's own apology and Konan's thoughts that they were going to actually talk. Normally. Wouldn't that have been nice?
Naruto sure as hell seems to think so too.
While it was his fault Kushina and Minato and Kakashi had no idea they were going to have people visiting or who they were, the reason there is no peaceful talking was because something much deeper. Something that Minato nails completely.
Hatred isn't the answer. It never is. Kakashi had every right to be angry, as did Kushina, as did Minato but hating them? Why? Maybe they are good people and good people can make mistakes. Such is the point she made to Minato when she was trying to convince him to talk to Konan again. He took it to heart and she's probably the first person to genuinely smile all night since this started.
He listened.
Still... while they couldn't hate, that didn't mean they could particularly trust anyone yet. That was going to take time and plenty of those peaceful discussions that Konan, Naruto, and Kushina had been hoping for. There's one person she already knows isn't going to be accepting this decision easily and she faces Kakashi again. It was going to take a long time to even remotely think not hating 'Pain' or Nagato was close to possible. In fact, it was probably laughable.
That was how she had felt, once upon a time. Did he even have room to grow up a little more? Could Kakashi listen too?
While she wants to join Minato and Naruto there at that place in the middle, right now she needs to be at Kakashi's side as support. Just so he knows what he's feeling isn't wrong. But it isn't particularly right either. Kushina speaks in a low tone so only Kakashi can really hear what she's saying since they're a bit farther back.]
They've done a lot of wrong and horrible things... [Killing Jiraiya, attacking Konoha, killing Kakashi, threatening to extract the Kyuubi from Naruto, destroying the village] But they're trying. That's more than most people have done to atone for their mistakes in this world. I don't think they would have come here if they weren't truly sorry.
Minato's trying too and Jiraiya-sensei was his idol. He might have been a pervert who drank way too much sake and peeped on girls but, ya know, he was a good man. Minato wouldn't have respected him so much if that weren't true. When he says things like that, I'm reminded he wanted people to get along more than anyone.
That's why I liked him.
[And if Kakashi respected Jiraiya like he does, if he idolizes his own sensei Minato, if Naruto is his precious student--]
But you don't have to like them, they don't have to be your friends, you don't even have to talk to them if you don't want to. Just forgive because it takes a bigger, better person to put the past behind them and move on for the sake of others.
For Naruto.
x__x
And though Pain may have repented, though he might genuinely feel sorry, and sacrificed his life to bring back countless others, his sacrifice does not change the decisions he had made in the first place. It doesn't change the fact that he is just as capable of making those same decisions all over again, should the right circumstances befall him. It doesn't undo the memory of dying, the way he gasped for breath that just would not come, as his heart gave out. And it doesn't bring back Jiraiya, who Kakashi had respected almost as much as he respects Minato, who he had always almost thought a man who could never possibly make the wrong decisions.
Until today.
Because this is far too idealistic, too optimistic, and isn't grounded by a single shred of reality.
It's one thing, after all, to suggest a truce, to say that there will be diplomacy and not war, but another to think that this is about hatred, when really it's about the fact that Jiraiya and Kakashi and so many others were killed by this man without him even flinching or blinking an eye. And if he was capable of that then, he is still capable of it now. He has not, as far as Kakashi is concerned, offered any apology or form of restitution. He did not even make public notice of his arrival in this world, or, presumably after he became aware of the presence of Konoha shinobi within it, he did not even attempt to do what a man who truly was penitent would do, and offer a formal public apology for his past actions. Or, if not that, he should have at least reached out to Konoha's leader, the Yondaime Hokage -- whose presence, surely, Naruto or someone else would've inform him of. Barring that, he himself should've asked about the presence of any potential Hokage, so as to go through the proper diplomatic channels for rules of engagement.
That is, after all, what a man with Pain's diplomatic experience, having run a village himself, should have done if he really were truly apologetic and if what he wanted was to demonstrate his sincere penitence and ask for forgiveness.
But Pain has done none of that.
Instead, he showed up at Naruto's home, acting as though he was oblivious to the kind of social ramifications such a meeting might have posed (what grown man with that much experience running an entire country goes through a sixteen year old boy as a diplomatic channel without first considering who he might run into?) and the only fucking apology he offers is a half-assed backwards apology for causing them grief.
Really.
Seriously.
That is not at all what Kakashi would consider a true, genuine apology, or a demonstration of actual regret at all. If he was this man, he'd be on his fucking knees with his face to the ground begging for forgiveness, because that is how you apologize to someone who you've wronged in an unforgiveable, immeasurable way, when you truly fucking mean it.
So no, this is not about hatred, and there is nothing to forgive, because Pain hasn't even shown one shred of remorse in the first place, and for all Kakashi might know, Naruto might've somehow emotionally manipulated him into somehow sacrificing his life to bring back all of Konoha. But that does not change the fact that he did it in the first place. And it also doesn't change the fact that the only thing he has apologized for so far is causing them fucking grief.
And Minato can wax poetic about hatred and peace all he wants, but death is death and murder is murder and there is a murderer who killed without any political sanction or formal war standing in a house Kakashi thought he maybe could consider home in a way, because Minato and Kushina were practically family to Kakashi, and the closest thing he had to a home. But this is not a house whose roof he can bear to stay under as long as Minato welcomes killers who have not actually repented and demonstrated their remorse in any sort of meaningful way.
The breath Kakashi exhales is audible, trembling with white-hot anger that burns in his chakra, that boils his blood and makes him clench his fists until the leather of his gloves creak. And though he forces himself out of the battle-ready position he'd sunk down into the moment he laid eyes on Pain, and into an upright position, the intent in his blood does not change for even a moment. He hadn't intended to attack, and still doesn't, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants Pain to know that should he even think of raising a hand against the people Kakashi loves, or doing anything that might be even minutely construed as a threat, Kakashi would not hesitate killing him.
And really, that has nothing to do with hate. Because Kakashi doesn't hate Pain, not really.
(But then, there's a fine line between fear and hate and sometimes the two are one and the same.)
Even for Naruto, Kakashi can't just let it go or offer forgiveness when there wasn't even a fucking apology to begin with. ]
If they were truly sorry, why didn't they offer a formal apology either publicly or through the proper diplomatic channels? [ Kakashi's response to Kushina is not at all hushed, and he speaks loudly enough for everyone to overhear. ] The only apology that they've offered so far is an apology for disturbing us here, and quite frankly, Yondaime-sama, I think you're being too idealistic and naive.
What you're doing here isn't even diplomacy. It's blind optimism.
[ And in Kakashi's opinion, it's the most foolish thing he's ever actually witnessed Minato do. Perhaps the only foolish thing. He doesn't understand Minato's reasoning at all, not one bit.
Kakashi's tone has turned clipped and his language has turned exceedingly formal. ]
They've given us no guarantees that they do not intend to be hostile against us in the future, nor have they issued any form of apology to any shinobi of Konoha or offered any restitution. If what they had wanted to do was talk, they should have formally requested an audience with the Hokage in a neutral place of his choosing instead of breaking diplomatic rules of engagement and surprising him and his family at his place of residence.
[ How is it that his sensei, the Yondaime Hokage, can't even see that? Is it that he's just too young, or that his death has made him somehow complacent, such that he would not even understand how fucked up all of this is? ]
So. Many. Words.
The path he'd chosen had taken those words and used them in entirely the wrong ways. He'd lost his guiding light, and had struggled too long and too far in the wrong direction following a fairy light instead. A fairy light made of woe and terrible mistakes that cannot be unfollowed, and he knew that, was doubly aware of that. He really had no idea how, or why, anyone would think he did not. But then, people didn't see when they were blinded by hatred, or grief, or fear, and he'd learned that so very well in his life.
After all, wasn't he, and hadn't he always been, the most emotional of those Jiraiya taught in Ame? His tone was soft, as he wasn't unaware of the other redhead speaking to the pale haired man and had no reason to cut across her words, instead focusing on the blond before him while those two were speaking, leaving her to it as he answered the intense blond before him... who had reminded him of words that he'd been told long ago.]
I remember him saying that to me too... and I didn't understand it well enough. I failed him, even after what he'd written... I still failed him, horrifically. That's why I've given all hopes and dreams into Naruto's keeping. He's stronger than I ever was and he won't falter in the face of loss as I did.
I never hated anyone. I just didn't know how to make them understand... so I did everything wrong.
[If he was going to say more, however, it was cut across by the Hatake's answer to the Uzumaki at his side, and it made Nagato pause, one of his hands finally coming up to swipe across his eyes. There was a horrible sort of humor that he doesn't cry for years, dies twice, and then this, such horrible reminders of a loss he caused so soon before his own death...
This is what causes him to remember how to do it. Of course. It didn't filter into his voice though, and he took a deep breath before answering the younger man directly, lifting his voice so that it could be heard.]
I was warned by a Konoha shinobi yesterday that not everyone would be as neutral about seeing me as he was, and I was prepared for that. However, why would I assume that Naruto would in any way mislead me when he invited me to his home?
I knew about Kushina-san, we met yesterday on my initial walk around the village, but I was unaware he lived with any others. I was definitely unaware that in a place where the dead walk freely, that there would be a hokage around at all that would even care about my presence. [He shook his head sharply and looked back to the Yondaime then, dropping his hand back to his side now that he'd dried his face.]
I've twice freely given my life for your son and his envisioned future. If it came to it, I would give it a third, or fourth time even were it a possibility. He is the end of a series in which my book was an utter failure and didn't further the story in any good way at all.
He's my friend, for all that I do not deserve it, and he's shown me things I can only wish that I had understood properly before I let myself believe in things that did nothing but ill.
I killed sensei, and it's something I should never be forgiven for, because it is something that shouldn't have happened, and I didn't fix. That was my choice, and my mistake, one that he tried to talk me out of and I was too stubborn to hear. It's also something I'll admit I've... not given myself time to think about.
[His voice got quieter then, and he dipped his head once more, pressing one of his hands over his heart.]
I've ruined too many symbols of peace in my life, however, and it's understandable if you have no desire to believe me.
Re: So. Many. Words.
[Without so much of a glance and without even raising his voice, he asks this.]
If you say that my decision is too idealistic and made by someone naive, tell me, do enlighten me.
What do you want me to do?
[He takes a sharp breath.]
Do you want me to hate him? Do you want me to kill him in cold blood just like how he did to you and Jiraiya-sensei? Do you think that will accomplish anything? Do you think that will make the world a better place?
[There's only a brief pause before he continues, his gaze now trained to the world outside their household's window.]
You know I am capable of ending this man's life, inasmuch as I am capable of dirtying my hands with both of their blood. Do you want me to do that?
I did not say anything about forgiving them right off the bat. I did not force you to forgive them. In fact, I haven't yet forgiven them. But as Hokage, I have an obligation to pull people from darkness.
[He pauses again, this time, to prepare himself for his next words.]
I will never forget what he did to you, Kakashi, and I will never forget what he did to Sensei. I understand how you feel and I'm with you there because you know I'm always with you. If it makes you feel better, I do intend to make you keep an eye on them and I'll do the same. Although, do know that we aren't going to harm anyone without being provoked. We are not here for revenge, but of peace.
[He turns back to Nagato who just finished what he had to say.]
You heard him. You don't have to believe him and we don't have to trust him right away. It's hard to put the past behind us but we can never move forward if we let the past chain us.
[With an expression of resolute calmness, Minato continues.]
To you both, Nagato and Konan of Amegakure, my trust and my forgiveness will be earned. Live and atone for your sins. From now on, any untoward action will be dealt with and you will be under surveillance.
[Maybe he smiles a little here, maybe it's just the wind.]
Prove us wrong, not just with your words but also with your actions.
Beautiful words
She fully trusts Naruto, and she trusts Kushina about as much as she can trust someone she doesn't know well. She trusts that Minato will keep his word and that he's sincere about trying to overcome hatred, but otherwise doesn't trust him much more than he trusts her. She only trusts that Kakashi will do what he feels is best for Naruto and for Konoha. Of course, he might consider hostile and violent action best for Konoha, if he lets his anger take precedence over Minato's orders.
It's perfectly understandable that she and Nagato must earn trust rather than have it be freely given. One doesn't survive as a shinobi by trusting blindly, and especially not when it comes to former adversaries. Still, she does feel the need to point out one thing.]
I have no problem with continuing to prove myself trustworthy, however I have been here in Luceti for ten months already. If you want to know if I can be trusted, there are Konoha shinobi who have been here even longer than I have that can confirm that I haven't taken a single hostile action against anyone in my entire time here. Nara Shikamaru and Rock Lee have spoken to me on occasion.
[She'd mention Itachi as well, but a former member of Akatsuki might not be regarded as the most unbiased character reference.]
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Though his chakra is still very much battle-ready, and tension has drawn his entire body into a live wire ready to snap with even the slightest provocation, Kakashi's finally decided to stand down completely, cowed by his sensei's words. He had thought that Minato, with his declaration of living in peace and not in hatred, was offering Konan and Pain unconditional forgiveness and suggesting that Kakashi do the same. And the thought of that, of such easy absolution without any sort of real penance paid for war crimes, without even having demanded an apology, had made Kakashi almost lose faith in his teacher.
He's ashamed that he had misread Minato's actions and misunderstood his intent.
Minato had never intended to offer unconditional forgiveness or an easy way out. And though he spoke of peace and ending hatred, he had not actually said anything about joining hands with their former enemy, turning the other cheek. He simply was trying to dissuade Kakashi from acting on hatred, even though hatred was never the emotion that had driven his actions from the beginning -- not that Minato could have known that, when all he could see was his student, poised and ready to strike.
Sixteen years apart, and they no longer can read the other the way they once did, something Kakashi will have to think about later.
After this is over.
For now, his eye takes in the faint glisten of tear-tracks that line Pain's cheeks, then travels over to Konan after a moment, and back again to Pain, who clearly looks remorseful, but a performance is a performance and Kakashi's not sure how convinced he is. After all, even until this point, all Pain has offered is many words, but not even the most basic component of a formal apology: the apology itself. If anything, the words he did give were filled with excuses and sounded almost like a speech meant to rouse some sort of pity for the man, or some sort of sympathy that he had given his life twice (whatever that might mean) for Naruto's cause.
But still. An apology is an apology, and this is not one.
He turns his attention to Konan, gaze sharp and focused. ]
The time you have spent here in Luceti without taking action could be considered a strategy for self-preservation. For all we know, you might not have taken hostile action because you were alone and outnumbered. Now that Pain is here, you have the ability to take us on if you wanted.
[ For the first time since Kakashi was made aware of their arrival, he takes his eyes off of Konan and Pain to focus on Minato. ]
Yondaime-sama, Pain has not given us any assurances that he will not take hostile action against us in the future. And as far as I know, neither of them have actually issued a public apology or offered reparations to Konoha to demonstrate humility and goodwill or true remorse for their war crimes against Konohagakure. While we certainly are unable to hold them accountable for their crimes, at the very least, if they want us to believe that they truly regret their actions, then they should be held accountable and take responsibility for them like we would expect of any other hidden village which has wronged us.
As they are the former rulers of Amegakure, I suggest that a formal treaty is drafted that would include provisions to ensure that their words are not just empty words, but are instead, the truth. Should any of the terms of the treaty be broken, we could also include clauses that would authorize taking action.
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I will have to talk to Shikamaru and Lee about this, then. Rest assured, these ten months will be accounted for.
[And then nodding at Kakashi.]
Alright, this treaty sounds good. A written document and a public apology should be enough testimonies for both parties involved. No more, no less.
[Turning to Nagato, this time, Minato's demeanor doesn't change.]
Do we have an understanding, Nagato?
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That was just unfair somehow.]
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Though he also feels bad for Nagato and Konan because he believes them to be nice people, and genuinely wanting to get along.]
So, I think maybe we should take a walk or something. [Turning to look at Konan and Nagato now, he chuckles nervously] Whadd'ya say?
[Its probably best for everyone if they disperse for now.]
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A break in the tension was so badly needed right this second.]
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[Troubling as it is for her, she can tell it's been more thoroughly unsettling for Nagato, who'd been nervous but hopeful about the visit when they'd talked about it before.
She'll handle the politics for the moment, even though she's not pleased that their visit came to this. At all. She turns back to Minato and bows her head just slightly. She and Nagato are guests (sort of) in the 4th Hokage's home and she will behave with the appropriate social graces.]
Thank you for your time and consideration. Please let us know when the treaty is ready for review and we can determine a mutually agreed upon meeting place.
[She moves to follow Naruto and Nagato out. The treats she brought to share didn't even come up, due to having graver topics to deal with. She'll give them to Naruto during their walk, though.]
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Alright, I will. [A beat.] Thank you for also agreeing.
[Trust may still have a long way to go before it's earned, but the way Minato doesn't forbid Naruto to be friends with them should be enough indication that everything will push towards that path.
He's pretty hopeful it will, someday.]
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Alright! Well we're gonna go so.. see ya!
[He's smiling, though practically pushing Nagato and Konan towards the door. LET'S GOOOOOO.]