lucetilogs | (no subject)

It wasn't long before there was a slight shifting noise behind the door- then a thump followed by footsteps.

"It's open," The blond man's voice cracks, muffled slightly, "Come."

He might as well have been dead. He's laying crumpled on the scruffy-looking mat on the floor, his leg propped on a pillow. He was fine, really, but he just couldn't be bothered to get up and open the door.

Duo isn't exactly someone he wanted to see, not after their last run in had startled him. Still, he wasn't going to send the poor guy away. Not after all the help-

Duo slid through the door easily, a smile plastered to his face. James didn't sound good, but at least he was breathing. "Aready you're makin' demands like that? Gotta give a guy a chance ta build up."

Duo studied the way James lay on the floor and tilted his head to the side. "Whatcha doin' down there? Can't be that comfortable 'less you're in more pain than ya should be. Not ta mention, did I scare someone off or did ya get up and then lie down just for me~?" Duo said it with a grin, not really thinking about it as he looked James up and down. His head lifted to look around the room too, wondering what he heard before entering.

James winced at the comment. As he expected. Part of him wanted to kick the man out. Make him leave. It's disgusting.

But then- no-

No it had been so long. So long since anyone had wanted him. DON'T TOUCH ME JAMES I'M A MONSTER. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.

He was so-

And Duo, he had a subtle figure- soft, round face, long hair- he was young, for sure. But he looked enough- maybe if James closed his eyes. Maybe just for a moment. Most women found him repulsive, anyway. Reaching middle age, flabby, pudgy around the middle.

Something meaningless. It could be, something meaningless and quick. James could take it from him. He could _{take whatever he needed from anyone}.

Maybe he needed this.

He cracked a soft smile.

"To what do I owe the visit?"

Duo had no idea what was going through James's head. If he did, he probably wouldn't have been standing there and would have instead been looking for someone to help the man. As it was, he was considering the possiblity of forcing James to the clinic for more physical reasons.

He squatted down next to James after making sure the room was empty, but he made sure he had his back to a wall and he could cover the room with a glance. "Told ya, makin' sure ya ain't dead. And ya still haven't answered the question. Ya ever go ta the clinic or you just like lookin' up at people?"

James shrugged, looking down at his hands.

"I got one of Itchy's friends to help me. He pulled some of that crazy 'magic' stuff and I feel a bit better now. Still not one-hundred percent but I'm getting there." He manages a wry grin.

"No need to worry about me. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." James tried to make nice, tried to push those thoughts from his mind. Still they were there-

"Anyway, thanks for the concern, but as you can see, I'll just be laid up here for a while. Bored as heck, but I figure it's best to just stay put."

"Well, you being bored gives me even more reason ta stay with ya for a while and entertain ya. So who's Itchy? Good nickname by the way." He stood up and looked around the room again. He shifted the stuff in some of his pockets like that was the reason he stood up. Something was wrong here and it was making Shinigami restless. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was or why he wanted to get the hell out of there.

The movement sent his braid swinging behind him, twisting back and forth like it was trying to hypnotize James. "What whacha wanna do for some entertainment for a bit? We can play, 'What's in my pants?' or somethin' silly like that."

"Oh. Itchy's not actually his name. I just can't really pronounce his real one." James waved a hand dismissively.

The blond man made somewhat of a face.

"You've got to be kidding me. What's with you, anyway?"

Sunderland himself didn't give any inkling of anything being wrong, particularly. He was just his usual, somewhat timid, awkward self.

Duo chuckled and put the edginess out of his mind. It was possible the Malnosso were just payin' attention to them and that's what had Duo's attention. It wasn't likely, but it was possible, especially if they were thinking about kidnapping James.

He settled himself on the floor again, sitting this time rather than squatting. "'Course it's not his name. I already called it a nickname. Know what ya mean 'bout not bein' able ta pronounce someone's real name. Got a lotta those here. And there's nothin' wrong with me." Duo grinned and bounced a littl. "I just get bored too and I hate it. So come on. I won't even make ya guess all the stuff I got hidden in my pants. Just somethin' from my pockets. Or we can play somethin' else. You got any ideas, blondie?"

"I'm not very good with any of that eastern stuff," James admitted a bit sheepishly. He wasn't really that well educated, and he even failed his college Spanish courses for the most part.

A faint frown crossed his features. He wasn't feeling very comfortable. Not in the least.

~~Marymarymarymarymary~~

"Know how to play speed?" It was the only card game James had ever learned. He seemed to be resisting the jokes, passing them off, however much they made him want to ~~wrap his fingers around the young man's neck and squeeze and squeeze justcrushhimsoeasily~~

"Yeah, me neither." Duo wasn't really concerned about it. Most of the people he talked to ended up with a nickname anyway so he wasn't really concerned.

Duo tilted his head and concidered the question. "Nope, sure don't, but I pick up games pretty easily if ya wanna show me. I'd love of you ta play with me~" When in doubt, flirt to cover up. It drew attention away from something he didn't know and made people focus on how sexy or how much of an idiot they think he is. He winked just to make his flirting more obvious and draw attention to his blue eyes.

James shrugged softly. He wasn't much of a teacher, and he had little patience. Slowly he huffed and laid back onto the pillow he'd had previously bunched under his neck.

"Alright, sure. I'll teach you. Grab those cards from the table in the kitchen, would ya? Spare an old, gimpy man some walking." Old, lazy man would have been more accurate. Something still swimming, just at the back of his mind. The attention certainly wasn't-

Who didn't want to be wanted? Especially at his age- his stature-

~~The only one who ever loved you was MARYMARYɯɐɹʎ~~

He could use him. He could get whatever he wanted just pulling this guy along- Sure he wasn't homosexual in the least but maybe just something somethingsomething _{easily taken and never spoke of not ever not ever NOT EVER AGAIN.}

Duo waved his hand like he was shooing away the topic. "Oh you're not old. Probably feel that way after tryin' ta break your neck, but who hasn't felt that way?"

He considered pulling the cards out of one of his pockets, but it was always fun to see someone else's cards. It was an excellent way to see if they're a cheat and and even better way to figure out how often they played with the deck.

Duo flowed up to his feet in a show of muscle and finesse and stepped over James, more for the sake of doing it than as a way to get to the kitchen.

"Well I'm ten years short of bein' over the hill," Such a normal conversation, it was almost mocking.

If Duo was graceful, James was at the other end of the spectrum. Blunt, slow, entirely out-of-shape. He'd probably never seen the inside of a gym in his life. The love-handles were proof enough of the fact that for fifteen years he'd worked a desk job, supplemented with black coffee and donuts. Moreso the donuts than anything else. When Mary had fallen ill, James had simply stopped caring all together.

"It's on the left there, the blue box." He called after the younger man.

A rude sound was Duo's response as he went to get the box of cards. "What age is that for ya? Not sure if your life expectancy's the same as it would be for us. Afterall, we moved inta space and shit. War's kinda lowered the bar too."

He wandered into the kitchen and picked up the cards. He stared at the package of cards for a moment and thought about the war. So many young people had died fighting in Mobil Suits. At least until OZ started making Dolls. Duo wondered what that did to the statistics about how long people lived. He'd never cared to look it up before.

He started back toward James carrying the cards. "Hell, I might be considered old now. Who knows? Guess that's not what really matters. Not nearly as much as how old ya feel and shit. Ha, guess that does make me old, but I refuse ta grow up!"

His legs folded neatly under him as he sat down again. "Least I still have the stamina of a teenager! Wanna see how good that is?" Duo asked it as a way of pushing the serious topic out of the conversation. Flirting and sexual innuendo were great covers and perfect at pushing conversations away from where he didn't want them to go.

A brief moment passed in which James could close his eyes and pretend to listen to the other man talk, giving generic responses of 'hmm'.

As Duo returned, James reluctantly rolled off his pillow onto his side, propping his head up with one hand and snatched the box of cards from the brunette.

Then a deadpan look.

"How what huh? I don't think I follow"

~~Justtakeittakeittakeittakeitfromhimnownevermarymarymary~~

James's question only got a grin. It's not like it really mattered if James understood it. He'd achieved what he wanted and deviated the topic. "Nothin' that important or anythin' ya really wanna know."

"So, how we supposed ta play this game? Don't want ya stayin' bored or I might have ta get creative ta entertain ya."

"You sure are a strange guy," James made a bit of a face. He wasn't exactly sure if Duo's just messing with him or if he was entirely sincere-

Either way it wasn't really an opportunity that James has been presented with.

Either way, with his mental state, he wasn't particularly fit to deal with it.

"I can't believe you don't know how to play speed," He didn't feel like explaining the rules, really, "Do you know Go Fish? Please tell me you know how to play that."

Of course, that got a large grin from Duo. James had no idea how strange Duo really was, but he wasn't going to point that out... well not really. "Yep! But I'm sexy and fun so people let me get away with it! But yeah, at least I know how ta play Go Fish. We'd play it at the church so Sister Helen'd get a chance at some quiet."

TO make himself more comfortable, and possible more flirty, Duo shifted forward and put his elbow on his knee, chin resting in his palm. It brought his face closer to James and their eyes on a more even plane. "Curious ta see how you're gunna shuffle with one hand~ Don't suppose ya can use somethin' else ta manipulate cards~"

"So you grew up in a church?" for once James made an intuitive connection. Brilliant deduction, in his mind, really.

Carefully, he placed the deck of cards on his knee, taking half the stack and shifting it over the top, then repeating the motion in his palm, once, twice, three times.

"Well now you've seen someone shuffle one handed," He smirked, secretly satisfied at the chance to show off the somewhat boring parlor trick he'd learned during his days spent in the military (however brief it was).

The card shuffling facinated Duo even if it was a parlor trick. When James stopped, Duo sat up just so he could clap. "Now that's a pretty good trick. Ya must have pretty nibble fingers for someone who think's he's gettin' old. Might be enough ta keep a young guy like me entertained for a bit."

The shift back down to his knee threw his braid over his shoulder so it thunked into the floor. He idly picked it up and started flicking it back and forth on his cheek as he talked. "But yeah, I spent a while livin' in one. Had no parents and my gang lost its leader so we were taken in by the Maxwell Church. Blah blah, war orphan story."

James puffed up a bit.

"Not bad eh? Glad somebody still thinks I'm cool." A soft chuckle followed, but his face quickly faded back to the normal misery, and he began to deal the cards.

"War huh? Well I guess you gotta count yourself lucky to be alive, huh?" He finally sat entirely upright, his bad leg extended and the other he used to prop an arm on.

Idly, James examined his hand.

"You can go first."

The hand he was dealt wasn't anything special so Duo asked for a card, but quickly side-tracked himself. "Well there's somethin' 'bout you that's got me here~ Suppose I am pretty lucky considerin' everythin'. I made it outta that war pretty good if ya ask." The scars on his hands from various engines and other things pull and he rubs them.

"I look pretty good, don't I?" He leaned even farther forward and looked up at James. "You could take a closer look if ya wanted~"

"Hell, if you get out of war alive you're counted lucky." James shook his head, looking down at his unimpressive hand, sorting it carefully, holding a couple of cards between his teeth as he tried to get everything in order.

It wasn't until Duo was seriously invading his personal space that he looked up, leaning back slightly.

The cards fell from his mouth.

"Uhm. I-"

Awkward.

"I don't know... Ah..."

Don't you wanna touch me, James?

See?

I'm real.

Far more interested in James, Duo kept his eyes on the blonde's and away from the cards now on the floor. "Really? I could get closer, but then I might see your hands~ Guess you'll just have ta take my word for it that I got outta it alive and barely scarred."

Duo leaned back and gave James enough room to pick up his cards. "Ya might wanna get those before I start thinkin' you're not that interested in the cards. And ya never told me if I should Go Fish."

It was hard to tell if James was fumbling because he was nervous or if it was because he was actually interested. Since he hadn't gotten any really negative feedback, Duo continued with his flirting and shaking of James. At the least it was fun and at worst, he'd end up embarrassing himself and offering to take James for a drink with a couple chicks.

Well one thing was certain. He had James plenty flustered. It was obvious though, that the blond wasn't exactly the forward type.

It's just that it had been so long.

Nobody would have to know...

"I uh-" He stammered, hastily gathering up the cards.

This guy- he was coming on strong. The older man began to wonder just what his game was, exactly. If he truly was pitching for the other team or if he was just...

Trying to mess with him.

"I uh- got uh- you got any threes?" A quiet effort to return his environment to normal.

Not a bad reaction... At least I'm pretty sure he's just not used ta someone like me. Duo chuckled to himself and offered up a card. He held too much of it in an attempt to make James "accidently" brush his fingers when he took it.

The game Duo was playing was far more interested than the one they were playing with the cards. He loved little more than pushing people. Working on his Gundam came close and food certainly was up there, but teasing and flirting with someone like this could only be more fun if the other person flirted and played back.

James took the card, though showing little reaction to the forced contact. It did make him uncomfortable.

He sighed. Thats it, enough playing around.

"Just what exactly are you after, man?" He put on his best deadpan expression. He's never been good with playing games. Never, not a charming man, nor was he flirty in the least.

Still, he sat, looking only slightly annoyed and feeling distinctly that he was being toyed with.

That wasn't going to be enough to ruin Duo's fun. He put on the most innocent and wide-eyed look he could, going back to when he'd claim he hadn't stolen something, and used it on James. "Jacks, but it's still your turn so I shouldn't a told ya that."

Inside, Duo was laughing. He really hadn't expected James to call him on the game so early. He was sure he could have gotten away with it a little longer or at least James would have simply told him to knock it off. Questioning him really hadn't been expected.

The older man threw down his cards with a frazzled huff.

"That's not what I mean, dammit and you know it."

Grabbing the pilot by the collar of his shirt, James pulled his forward, forcing him to make eye contact. He wasn't too terribly angry-

But it was obvious he lacked the shining sense of humor and fun that Duo possessed. He lacked it by a lot.

The grab was really unexpected, but the thrown cards really should have been a sign. Duo hadn't thought James had it in him to move that fast or move like that at all. So much for his claims about being old or whatever.

Licking his lips, Duo said, "If ya wanted a kiss, ya coulda just asked~" The distance between them was easy to close for a quick, open-eyed kiss. He chuckled as he pulled back, still caught by his fake priest collar.

Well that was-

That was a man kiss.

If Duo could have qualified for a man. After all, James was his senior by about ten years, (give or take).

Still...

James was left, mouth agape, a look of mild horror plastered on his face. Duo, in spite of his appearance, was a man. No amount of being desperate, lonely or sexually depraived was going to change that.

No matter the fact that he'd been making obvious passes at the widower-

In the end of everything, James wasn't attracted to men. Not in the least-

And this- this was absolutely wrong. Utterly wrong.
ʇı ʞɐǝɹq puɐ ʇı ǝʞɐʇ

But he only shoved the brunette away for a moment before looking back at him.

"Why..." Search for the words NO NO NO, "Do you want me...?"

Why would anyone want me but ʎɹɐɯ?

The look on James's face was enough to leash Duo... sorta... for a moment. It was at least enough to make him try to explain himself. "I like blondes? Not ta mention, ya kinda smell like a soldier. I don't know much 'bout ya, but ya just got that feelin' like you've seen war. Ya remind me of home and stuff." At least that felt like the truth. Duo was actually having a hard time explaining it to himself beyond that it was fun to tease someone who hit just the right amount of awkward feelings.

But he couldn't leave it at that, not with that look on James's face. Duo leaned forward, not much, but just enough to put him inside James's personal space again. "It's not wrong ya know. If you're not interested, that's fine, but ya don't have ta look like you're gunna hate yourself or somethin'. It's not like I'm a kid. Haven't been for a long time..."

Duo was wrong about what was causing so much horror in James. He probably wasn't comfortable with the age, but Duo hadn't really thought that someone would be so upset about a chaste kiss from someone of the same sex. It just didn't seem like a big deal to him so it tainted his view of how others might see things. It didn't help that James had been complaining about his age earlier either.

It really wasn't the age barrier bothering James. It was... well it was everything about the situation.

"I'm not much of a soldier. Just the national guard for a couple years. Never saw a war or anything..." He found himself explaining, in a true show of just how surreal the situation was for him.

But this-

This young thing was offering himself up... Just for James. Just for him. How many chances would he have to ever-

Maria wasn't even real. The insanity of even facing that fact just proved to more justify the situation.

He did feel disgusted, but only vaguely so. Maybe.

Maybe he could _pretend.

He closed his eyes.

Leaning forward, he pulled Duo along with him, to what could hardly be called a decent kiss. It was messy, clumsy and too forceful by a lot.

Just Imagine HER.

This was not how the game was supposed to go, not at all. Duo wasn't really going to complain, it wasn't perfect, but it wasn't terrible. He wasn't sure what to do now that he wasn't the one controlling things and he didn't want to disrupt... whatever it was James was looking for.

To Duo, he could have been exploring something new, taking something he needed, pushing himself, the possibilities went through his head like Zero was feeding them into his brain. It was uncomfortable the same way too.

But finally, Duo decided he needed to do something to clean up the kiss and make it something nicer. He tried to pull gently away from James to catch a breath and let things start again more slowly.

There's no going back now. It wasn't entirely new territory, and closing his eyes worked just well enough that he didn't quite feel like hanging himself right then.

Though when Duo interrupted him he was snapped out of his space of justification just enough to give an annoyed growl.

What now-

Reluctantly, he could tell he was being urged to slow down. He gave a hiss of protest but little more and restrained himself just enough to get by. Whatever it takes, right? Do whatever it takes. Just-

Slowly then, he pushed the young man to the floor, eyes closed again, trying his best to kiss nicely though it was still invasive as hell and not entirely pleasant. James, in the end, while he seemed timid for the most part, was quite forceful when given control. It was always about control-

In the way he planted his palms on Duo's shoulders, keeping him pinned. Nothing too alarming, yet. It simply was proof James really had little to no experience with men, and was more than rusty with intimacy.

He crawled over to straddle the brunette. He seemed to be getting the hang of things until, barely audible-

"Mary..."

From that distance, it wasn't exactly easy to catch the word, but Duo heard it. His eyes flew open and he jerked hard. Nothing good could come from James thinking he was a woman. Hell, it would result in a shit ton of pain and Duo wasn't about to let that happen, if that's where this was leading and James's behavior made it hard to guess. IT certianly seemed like a possibility.

The hands that had held him down hadn't been a bother until then. He was perfectly happy to lay down and be a bottom, but he wasn't going to play at being a woman while he did it. He'd gone down easily, moving with James, but now he wanted a moment to figure out what was going on and even if that didn't require getting up, it required James pulling back.

Duo struggled a little under James's hands and hips. It wasn't a very strong struggle, but should have been enough to get most people to stop and pull away.

"Mm- sorry- sorry-" It didn't sound much like an apology, "I'm not used to-"

He didn't even bother finishing the sentence.

"Just- hold still-" Wandering hands made a point to avoid any part of Duo that made it obvious he was a man, though through James' clumsy ways it was hard to tell if it was on purpose.

Still, he hadn't let up on the younger man at all.

He lifted his body just enough to situate his knees under Duo's legs, not wasting time to press his hips into the man's backside harshly.

God please please please

A hand made its way up to touch Duo's collarbone. It seemed like at least, there- he was trying to be comforting- maybe?

The slight change of position worried Duo, but at least his mouth was free now. Talking had gotten him out of more than one difficult problem and he wasn't worried that he could talk himself out of this one. At the very least, he could smooth and soften things. "It's alright, but ya don't know what you're doin', do ya? Just slow down and I'll help ya figure this out. But I'm not Mary and I promise ya, you can't treat me like her. Let's just take a minute ta calm down and you can figure out what it really is ya want. I'm not tellin' ya no, but this is a little weird."

His hands reached out to grip James's arms, not trying to control him, but more like trying to ground him. Duo wasn't sure what was going on, but the hair on the back of his neck was standing up and something didn't feel right about what was happening.

"SHH!" James demanded. He'd more than had it with being interrupted.

"God please just let me-" He was grinding much too hard, almost to the point of being painful.

The hand that had been lingering by Duo's neckline moved up, and he easily resisted the younger man's grip- at least with his good arm. Fingers closed around the brunette's throat, squeezing the windpipe until it was completely collapsed-

Harder and harder.

It was then that it became obvious this wasn't going to work. Not with James. He was already too far gone.

He was insane. No doubt something horrible had made him this way- right?

PLEASE MARY PLEASE JUST-

GET OUT GET OUT JAMES GET THE HELL OUT I'M A MONSTER NEVER COME BACK

I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

I WISH YOU'D JUST DIE

Duo's eyes opened wide as the fingers closed around his neck. He could only thank Death that he'd gotten a little bit of air in his lungs as he got ready for another long speech, but it wouldn't last him long.

The temperature of his body rose sharply as adrenalin flooded his system. He kept one hand on James's wrist and tried to dig his too-short fingernails into the tendons. His other hand fisted under the blonde's stomach as Duo coiled under his larger body. Duo aimed carefully before unleashing a punch up under James's ribs and straight into his diaphragm. At the same time, he heaved with his hips, trying to throw James.

Even with Shinigami fighting behind his eyes, Duo didn't want to resort to extreme, physical harm just yet. There was something seriously wrong with James, but Duo couldn't help feeling partly responsible. He'd been playing a game that'd proved dangerous more than once. It'd come back to bite him again.

Edited 2008-07-17 12:47 (UTC)

Duo's struggle seemed utterly pointless, James was almost twice his weight, and while he was already in pain from his injuries, he seemed to be just too insane at the moment to care.

It had moved past the point of even advances, and right on into the older man using brute force, one hand still clenched around Duo's neck, squeezing, pressing his thumb in- so close...

It would be so easy to just rip the boy's throat out- yes- put him out of his misery.

Suddenly he rears back, (with his good arm) and brings a clenched fits down onto Duo's face- repeatedly.

Why why did you make me do this we could have been friends it was just a game of cards why did you offer this to me why mary why did you get sick it could have been so good mary why did you get sick why did my life fall apart why MARY WHY MARY WHY

The knife was in Duo's hand before he could think about it. He hadn't wanted to use deadly force, but James was going to crush his skull. If the pain was to be believed, the tender bones around his eye were already fractured. A few more hits and Duo wouldn't be able to stop James.

Duo shoved the knife down to the hilt into James, right below the collarbone. He knew it wouldn't seriously injure James, wouldn't risk his life, but few people could continue to use an arm like that with a knife in their chest. James would have to stop beating him.

The need for air was getting worse and black started leaking across the eye Duo could still see out of. He brought his knee up, aiming for James's groin with all the muscle he could still muster. If he couldn't get James off him now, Duo was going to have to do something desperate that could kill James.

There's was a deafening bellow as the knife slid deep into James' shoulder, slipping between the muscle and bone like a- well, like a knife through butter. It did seem to throw him off for a second, falling back and writhing, desperately grasping at the handle sticking out of him- only to be kneed in the groin.

That certainly earned another almost inhuman sounding wail of agony and James finally rolled onto his side, taking a few moments to recover from the pain searing his nerves.

Stumbling to his feet and leaning on a wall, he finally grasped the knife firmly and jerked it out with a pained growl. It didn't seem he was going to be stopped so easily- though it would be a perfect time for Duo to escape.

James's screams of pain relieved and sickened Duo at the same time. They meant he'd struck home and had a chance to getting out, but they were sounds of pain from a friend, pain he'd caused.

Duo scrambled to his feet, at least he tried. It wasn't easy with the floor swaying and moving under him. Focusing on the door was a task next to impossible.

But he had to make it. He had to get out of there. Duo pulled himself up and used every bit of training he'd gotten to be a pilot to make his brain and body work dispite the pounding they'd taken.

His path was far from steady as he made his escape, but he was moving and he was going the right direction. He just had to make it before James recovered.

One last muffled yell, James wavered, sliding along the wall, leaving a long smear of blood where he dragged his wounded shoulder.

"Wa- wait..." One hand extended as the other covered the stinging wound.

"Mary... Don't die M-" He tripped over the floor mat, falling with a sickening thud.

"Mary... I- I did it because I love you, Mary. I just couldn't watch you suf-" His breath hitched, "Suffer...Mary- No. That's a lie- that- I just- I wanted my life back I ca"

At last he slept, a nightmarishly quiet sleep, left to wake eventually and face his sins again.

The End! This bloody presentation was brought to you by two abusive muns. We hope you've enjoyed this horrifying production in the same way you enjoy watching a car crash. We're sorry we can't inform you that no real muses were injured during production because they were, badly. We'll get the bandages and ice.

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OOC