Another Seraph Bites The Dust

[fortunefail]

Who: Yuan Ka-Fai and Kratos Aurion.
What: The aftermath of Dhaos departing.
When: Shortly after this.
Where: House #8.
Summary: Yuan is having his period-- difficulty coping with watching people leave and Kratos attempts to offer aid. It backfires spectacularly.
Rating: PG-13 for cursing, probably?

[The moment Yuan heard Grune's announcement, he'd been sitting at the desk in his room. He had heard it, and then he'd gotten to his feet to pace around in an anxious manner. Dhaos... Dhaos is truly gone. It's so hard to grasp. He hadn't been a man Yuan had seen around too often. Dhaos hadn't been a man whose company he would seek out just for the sake of having company. And yet...

He had invited Dhaos into his house many times. They had been childhood friends and even in-laws during a particular experiment. He had told the man of Cruxis- of Origin and the Eternal Sword. Of Mithos Yggdrasill and his sister, Martel. In turn, Yuan had learned about Derris-Kharlan's future. It had had a population of about a billion angels before a war broke out in Dhaos' time. Norn's tree had been destroyed- no, it will be destroyed by a Mana Cannon. The same device that had doomed Ratatosk's tree in the past and the same thing that had, ironically, been used to save the Great Seed and Martel in a more present time. And Kratos... Kratos will not be present on Derris-Kharlan to prevent what doomed Dhaos' people. Just as Yuan will not be present to save the Yggdrasill tree from whatever causes it harm in the future. They are powerless to stop history from unfolding as it will. Yuan had told Dhaos: "It's our destiny to destroy and rebuild, only to destroy once more." Dhaos had replied with: "If there is evil in this world... it lurks in the hearts of men."

They had been kindred spirits, in a way. Not because of their identity as Seraphim, but because of their similar ways of thinking. They've both lived long enough to see the results of man's ignorance and they both understand it could never be fixed. Their conversations had always been pleasant. Though it was unspoken, they had truly been friends. If Dhaos were to return to Luceti, would he remember this at all?

Yuan has lost so many like this man over the past few years already. Usagi, Zoisite, Rupert, Cooro, Diana... All people he had grown fond of, only to have them depart from his life. And Martel... She's left him five times already. He would say it's the danger of living in a place like Luceti, but hasn't this been happening to him for his entire life already? It isn't the curse of Luceti, it's the curse of being forced to live even after all these years. It will keep happening. He will likely outlive Lloyd and his companions, and anyone else he might still meet.

It's a bitter realization he had come to many years ago, but whenever something like this happens, it only becomes confirmed once more. It stings all over again, and Yuan finds himself overcome by rage just because of how unfair it is. He knows it's a selfish notion, but he often finds himself yearning for the day when he would be the one to leave everyone else behind. Some people might miss him, but in time they would forget, as they too will be 'sent home'.

But until then... Until then...! With one forceful swoop of the arm, Yuan sends everything on his desk flying. A glass of water, a couple of stray pens... A coffee maker he'd been disassembling falls to the ground and breaks with a loud crashing sound. The journal slides towards his wardrobe, but luckily it remained closed. The noise is bound to alert his housemate, but he doesn't even care at this point. He just needs some way- any way to vent his frustration.]

Comments

[shiningbinds]

[The housemate is indeed alerted.

For a few moments, Kratos remains in his own room. However, he eventually leaves said room to go to Yuan's. There's something wrong, and he's ignored when something is wrong with others long enough. Far too long, actually.

There's a brief pause before Kratos knocks on Yuan's door.] Yuan?

[fortunefail]

[Yuan had just been staring at the coffee maker's remains in a bit of a daze, breathing harshly, unsure of what to do. Part of him wanted to cause more destruction and part of him wanted to just walk out. To leave this stuffy house and seek out fresh air. In fact, that does seem like the better alternative. The moment Kratos knocks on his door, though, he realizes he made his decision a little too late.

He doesn't respond. He just leans down to pick up a few stray shards of glass. His door isn't locked. It never is.]

[shiningbinds]

[Kratos eventually opens the door to Yuan's room, but doesn't step in. His gaze quickly moves to the mess, to Yuan picking up the shards.] ...Yuan.

[fortunefail]

What do you want?

[His gaze is stuck firmly on the shards, but his voice carries enough venom to be the equivalent of a glare. He doesn't want to see anyone right now and Kratos is a particularly touchy subject. Another one of those companions he can only have in Luceti, because he's already said his farewells back home.]

[shiningbinds]

...to make sure you were all right. [He takes a couple of steps into the room.]

[fortunefail]

Does it look like I'm all right?!

[His room is a mess and he feels like a mess. It's another one of those times where he has no choice but to work through his frustrations and emotional turmoil in a matter of days, because he cannot afford to break down any longer than that.

He realizes he's been squeezing the glass shards a bit too harshly when he feels them pressing against his palm. It's a good thing he's wearing his usual gloves again, or it would've torn through skin.]

[shiningbinds]

No, it doesn't. [He can tell that you are most definitely not all right. A few more steps into Yuan's room, closing the door behind him.]

Will you tell me what has you like this?

[fortunefail]

[Figures. Kratos didn't even bother to check the journal system yet. He can be so damn blind to his surroundings, sometimes. And to think, Kratos is the one who's supposed to watch over the angels and their descendants. Kratos is the one who should be torn up about this. Yuan is convinced of this with the greatest amount of spite, yet all the words he can manage are:]

It's none of your business!

[shiningbinds]

...very well. [He sighs, quietly.] If that's how you feel.

[fortunefail]

[Yuan won't even dignify that with a response. He moves the glass shards into a small trashcan next to his desk and picks up what's left of the coffee maker. He might still be able to salvage some parts of it, but he has no intention of starting on that any time soon. He'll just leave it on the desk for now.]

[shiningbinds]

[Kratos will watch him quietly. While it probably would be a better idea to give his friend space, he doesn't feel right doing it.]

[fortunefail]

Why are you still here?! [He snatches his journal up from the floor and, after a moment of indecisiveness, just throws it onto his bed. He doesn't know what else to do with it. He doesn't even know what to do with himself right now. Having Kratos staring at him isn't exactly making him feel more at ease.]

[shiningbinds]

You shouldn't be alone right now. [A rare instance where Kratos speaks before he completely thinks about his words.] Not when you're in this sort of state.

[fortunefail]

["I will not see you harmed. Calm down."

"I will not calm down!"

"Then here I shall stay. You will not be getting rid of me, Yuan."

It's the exact same situation. Yuan's lost his head and it's up to his companions to stop him from causing serious harm- both to others and to himself. Though, as much as Dhaos had insisted that Yuan would not be getting rid of him, just look at where that's landed them.

It's all so futile, in the end.]

I don't need you here. I don't need anyone. [Yuan's hands clench into fists by his sides. The more dependant he allows himself to grow of Kratos, the more it'll hurt when the man is finally sent home. There isn't a doubt in his mind that his companion will be sent home before him.]

[shiningbinds]

I never said anything about need. [He doesn't feel right leaving Yuan in this state, despite making a similar mistake with Mithos so long ago. But that had been both of them, hadn't it?]

[fortunefail]

Then, why? Because it's your obligation as my friend?! You think owning up to your damn responsibilities after all this time will still make a difference?!

[The damage is done. Just as it happened with Mithos, Yuan's life spiraled so far out of control that no amount of companionship could still fix it. He would never sacrifice others to bring back the ones he loves, but he can sure as hell still sympathize with Mithos' feelings on that.]

go the fuck to sleep meowzy

[shiningbinds]

Should I not even attempt to? [He's tried to push back the awkwardness of what had just happened at home when he was taken to Luceti. He's tried to push back the awkwardness of what happened between them in February. Kratos has made a lot of mistakes, that is true, but he can't turn back on the effort he's made now...]

[fortunefail]

No, you shouldn't! You can pretend to be supportive all you want and it won't change a thing!

[After this incident there will be another, and another, and another... Who will be next to disappear from this place? Raine? Naoto? Albert? Kratos himself? There's no one whose company he can count on, because there's no one he can count on to always be here when he needs them.]

Just get the hell out!

[shiningbinds]

I'm not pretending. [Another sigh.] There's no need for this. However, I'll give you your space for the moment.

[He turns to leave.]

[fortunefail]

[Yuan won't stop him. Once Kratos has left the room, he won't pretend to care about the scattered belongings anymore, either. Whatever pens, paper and bits of plastic that are still lying around will stay there as Yuan takes a seat on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

Why couldn't he just have an easy life? All he wanted when he was young was to be respected and have a family of his own. Four thousand years later, and he still has neither of those things.]

[shiningbinds]

[Kratos decides to check the journal system while he allows Yuan to calm down.

That is, until he sees a particular entry. An announcement of departure.

Kratos had not been very close to Dhaos, but he knew enough about him, and he had come up in conversations between Kratos and Yuan often enough.

He immediately goes back to the room, not even bother to wait to open the door this time.

Leaving him alone wasn't a good idea.]

I see... so, Dhaos left. [Stated as a fact, tone remorseful for not knowing sooner. He was--and still is--mostly out of the loop of Yuan and Dhaos' friendship, but if Dhaos leaving is affecting Yuan this badly...]

[fortunefail]

[Even through his daze, he could hear Kratos returning. He can't be bothered to meet the man's eyes. All he can think is "About fucking time you caught up."]

Obviously.

[shiningbinds]

...I apologize.

[What else can he say?]

[fortunefail]

There's no helping it. It's how this damned place works.

[The common philosophy is to make the best of things, but just look at what happened to Regal Bryant. He got himself engaged to some woman from another world and they'd both departed before they could get married. The only fortunate part about that situation is that they both departed at the same time.]

[shiningbinds]

You still seem troubled over it. [Honestly, are you trying to play calm now?]