lucetilogs | EVENT LOG

[The screaming catches his attention immediately, especially since, after spending days in their apartment together, the voice is familiar to him. Rounding a corner, Teddy's name is already halfway out of his lips before he cuts himself off, visibly shocked and very disturbed at what he sees. What... what the hell...? That doesn't look much like Teddy anymore, but the voice-]

T... Teddy...?

[He can't help but sound a little frightened, his voice wavering- the claws are huge and is that- is that blood? What the hell? He's more than a little freaked out here.]

[Teddy completely freezes at the voice. He recognizes it, even though god he doesn't want to recognize it, just this once.]

Billy...?

[He lowers his arms to look and, sure enough, it's Billy. A frightened, freaked out Billy.

Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be? This boy he'd been rooming with, this normal boy he'd been sharing comics with and getting along so well with, is some kind of monster.

It's even worse that it's Billy, one of the ones he's utterly confused about, and in a completely different way than the others.

Teddy takes a few steps back and darts his panicked gaze from side to side as if to see if there's a way out and, seeing walls on either side of him and suddenly feeling like they're closing in, he turns and tries to stumble away instead, unknowing of the way his shoulder blades shift as if to make way for wings. He needs to get out of here, away from Billy and those eyes that are looking at him like the freak that he is.]

[It's the trapped expression on Teddy's face that finally snaps Billy out of his terrified daze; he can't remember experiencing that feeling before, but it's so familiar, driving home a sensation of deja vu so intense it's almost staggering, and it forces his feet forward, approaching slowly. He's scared, yes, and it takes an incredible amount of willpower to keep his eyes on Teddy's face instead of those hideous sharp claws of his, but he doesn't stop, one hand on the nearest wall as he approaches. For stability, for support, and at least half to keep himself moving forward instead of turning tail.

This is Teddy. A stranger, yes, but... a friend. And he can't just run away until he knows what's going on, even if he's shaking in his shoes here. Teddy wouldn't hurt him... right?]

Wait- Teddy, what's happening? Why are you... like this?

[He's trying to keep his voice steady, difficult as it is, and he's not succeeding entirely. It's better than it was before, though, so progress is good?]

[Billy's coming closer. Teddy just wants to escape right now, get away from those eyes that are trained on him; those thoughts make him move away, again, trying to turn away from Billy's gaze, claws digging into the wall.]

I don't know!

[And then he's kneeling down and covering his head again, the claws long enough to dig and cut into his shoulders, and wings that aren't his own appear from his back - not long and particularly useful, but enough to represent his willingness to escape. He'd fly away if he had to, despite not even knowing how.]

Just get away from me!

[Billy's gaze drifts to the wall as the claws bury themselves into it, and it makes him falter- he can feel how hard the wall is beneath his own fingers, and Teddy makes breaking it look so easy. He can't begin to imagine how strong he must be.

He could get himself killed here, doing this.

Stubbornly he pushes that thought aside, though. Teddy hasn't made a move to attack, or even threatened him. Hell, he could barely look in Billy's direction. He sounded panicked, frightened, just as much as Billy himself felt. And the appearance of those wings scared him too, sure, but it's also what makes Billy push away from the wall and rush forward, not stopping until he drops to his knees in front of Teddy. If he can grow wings- if he can fly- he can't let that happen.

He doesn't want Teddy to leave like this.

Hesitantly, he reaches out to touch Teddy's hands, trying to get a hold of those huge fingers, nails scraping uselessly over hardened, plated skin. He's not very strong, so he can't force Teddy to look up, but he has to try.]

Teddy... Teddy! Stop, you have to stop, you're hurting yourself!

It doesn't matter anyway!

[Teddy had flinched when Billy touched his hands, and he lowers his head and turns it away, but he makes no move to push Billy away. Like this, he could easily hurt him. And as much as he'd like to get away, he could never, ever hurt Billy.

Teddy might be a monster, but dammit, he is not about to hurt the people he's come to care for just because of that.]

Look - Look at me, Billy! I'm a freak! I don't - I don't know what to believe anymore! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!

[He wants to get back to normal. But all he can focus on are these powers he has, not how to shift back, not actually imagining what it'd feel like to be himself again.]

I am looking at you, and of course it matters!]

[Billy slides his hand free of the claws and reaches out to grasp Teddy's cheeks, trying to get him to lift his head and face him properly. He's changed, yes, and there are so many differences he can see now - a testament to how often he's looked at Teddy since they woke up together, that he can spot all of those differences - but it's because of those changes that he can spot what's still the same, and he's going to try to focus on that. His eyes- he wants to meet Teddy's eyes, if he'll let him.]

Teddy- you look at me, okay? We'll fix this! We'll figure it out, just don't- don't bail on me!

[He does look like a monster- like a freak. Billy can't deny that. But he's still Teddy, and that means he's still a friend. So he's not going anywhere unless Teddy proves that theory wrong.]

[The hands on his cheeks - Teddy focuses on that. It's a close gesture, and even though he's sure he's freaking Billy the hell out, he's still... touching him like that.

Unable to help himself, Teddy moves his trembling hands to cover Billy's. His own are rough and hard, covered with plated skin, but they're still surprisingly gentle, even with the claws. Claws that have blood on them, his own, but all the same.

Finally, he does lift his head. His teeth are still pointed - something Teddy learned the hard way, but at least the cuts weren't that bad, seeing how they healed already. His hair's a little longer, and his jawline is a tad broader.

What remains the same are his eyes, shining as they are with panicked and unshed tears of confusion and terror. They had been changing colors before, but somehow, they're the same blue as they always are.

And when Billy doesn't move away, Teddy slowly nods.]

Okay... Okay.

[To his credit, Billy doesn't flinch at the touch of claws against his skin, though a part of him wants to. The roughness of Teddy's armor, the colour, the feeling of claws pressed to easily-broken skin, it's all so alien to Billy, almost too surreal to believe. But it's right in front of him, and it's affecting Teddy- more than that, it's hurting him, scaring him.

He needs to focus.

Unable to help himself, he strokes his thumbs over Teddy's cheeks, hoping that the motion will soothe him, even just a little. He keeps his gaze fixated on the blond's eyes, bright and blue and beautiful. It's Teddy. It's always been Teddy.

He doesn't know why he thinks that, just now, but it feels right to do so.]

When this started... what happened? What was going on that could have made you change?

[This is science, right? A freaky, sci-fi kind of science, but it's still some kind of biology issue, something to do with Teddy's body. That means it's a problem that can be solved logically.]

[The movement does help him relax a little. Teddy's shoulders lose their tension, and his eyes don't seem quite as wide as they were. Those tears come dangerously close to falling as a result, but he still keeps them back somehow. Focus on his hands. Focus on those brown eyes that he's found himself loving to look at despite his supposed sexuality.

His own thumbs stroke across Billy's fingers briefly, just once, and somehow they don't break the other teen's skin. Maybe he somehow blunted them just for this, Teddy doesn't know. All he knows is that Billy didn't yank his hands away, and he doesn't look pained.

He'd never want to hurt him, even accidentally. Maybe it was so strong that it made him shift accordingly. Or maybe he's just being gentle.

Whatever the case, Teddy breaks eye contact to dart his gaze around once more, trying to think, and ends up looking down again. What happened? Why did this happen? What was he doing?

...]

I was... I was thinking of that card. About that first fact. My mom. I kept... thinking of how she died to protect me. I don't even know her and I still wish I could somehow go back and help her -

[His shoulder tense again, and the plates that are jutting out of them seem to grow, becoming more angular. He doesn't even know what she looks like, and the fact that she died to protect him - it feels like he failed her somehow.]

If I can do this, why couldn't I have...?

[Billy purses his lips, shifting his gaze aside for the first time, though it's brief- he catches sight of the claws on his skin, which is terrifying, and the plates on Teddy's shoulders as they shift and change, and he has to look away because it's hideous to watch, so he focuses on those blue eyes again. Whatever else is going on with Teddy's body, that's where he can keep them both grounded.]

Look, Teddy... I'm sorry about your mom. And I'm sure that whatever happened, you did everything you could. I haven't known you that long, but I think I know you well enough to know that you'd never just... let her die. So don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault.

[He may not know that for certain, because the memories aren't there to back up his claims. But what he said was also true- he knows Teddy. he trusts the other boy without question. Maybe it's stupid, and maybe it's dangerous, but he can't bring himself to care about that. He cares about Teddy. He cares... a lot. More than he knows he can admit.]

[There is, at least, one thing Teddy figured out about himself through this, if the obvious fact-turned-lie wasn't enough: he's a protective person. He wanted to protect his mother. The utter failure of that has been killing him ever since he read the card. Even now, he's doing his best to be gentle with whatever touches he gives to Billy, in a sense protecting him from himself.]

Then why does it feel like it? Even dad doesn't remember her, and...

[Teddy lowers his head further, to hide his face and reel in his emotions. Definite fact #2 that he's discovered is that he doesn't like to show when something makes him sad like this. Crying especially, even though he's still so close to it.]

I keep wanting to know who did that to her. I want to know what happened. What I did. Every time I read that card, the feeling just gets worse.

Maybe you should stop looking at it.

[It's a weak solution, temporary at best, but Billy can't help but think that maybe it's better to nip it in the bud, stop letting that failure kick him in the teeth every time he reads it.]

I know it must hurt... and I know it's frustrating, not remembering what happened or whether it's even true. We're all in the same boat here. But you can't focus on what is says. Work on getting your memories back, controlling whatever your body's doing- and worry about the rest when you've got the memories to help you deal with it properly.

[If Teddy's mom died recently and then this happened... maybe he hasn't finished grieving for her? He could be feeling that pain without even knowing that's what it is, like- like a phantom limb or something. Crazy as that sounds.]

[Teddy almost bites his lip - almost, and thinks better of it when he realizes that his teeth are still sharpened, and he'd just hurt himself more than he already has by doing that. Instead he just presses his lips together, shuts his eyes, and nods.

What Billy said makes sense. Teddy keeps reading and rereading the card as if it'll give him some kind of clue he didn't pick up on before, and - and not knowing anything else frustrates him more than he'd like to admit. And now, knowing that at least one of the facts on there is a lie...

Even now, he's tempted to look and pick out which other ones are lies. But, despite how strong it is... he won't do it. It'd just tear him apart even more to try to figure out what's going on and read that line, died to protect you, over and over...

Right now, the card isn't important. It isn't. Right now is important, trying to gather what little memories he has and controlling himself. He just... He just needed someone to tell him that.

Teddy moves his head up again, though he keeps his eyes shut, and he presses one of Billy's hands a little further against his cheek and leans his head into it.

There is, at least, one other fact on there he's pretty sure is a lie.

After that brief moment, Teddy opens his eyes, his gaze focusing on Billy's shirt.]

You're right. But I still don't know what I'm supposed to do about... what's happening right now.

[Billy relaxes a little, smiling despite the situation and his own misgivings about this situation- though he's not afraid anymore, not really. Freaked out, yes, that hasn't changed, but it's not the same as being afraid. Teddy's not going to hurt him regardless of his form, of that much he's certain.

He doesn't move his hand, thumbs still stroking over Teddy's skin, and considers that last comment for a moment, his brows furrowing.]

You were thinking about your mom, about protecting her, and... it made you stronger. [His eyes trail over the plates.] You have to relax. Think about... being yourself. Just normal, human Teddy. No danger, no fighting- you don't need armor here. Not with me. You're safe.

[Teddy's silent for a moment as he takes in Billy's words. They make sense... He had turned into this while thinking of his mom, of what could've happened and what he could've done. And it only got worse when he panicked and wanted to flee.]

Right. I'm... here. Nothing's going to happen. [He shuts his eyes, as if that'll help him.] I'm with you.

[And he tries to focus on those. It's hard to calm down all the thoughts in his head; his mind still tries to figure out what his mom looks like and what happened - who did that and how did it happen and did she suffer and - and for a moment his shoulder blades jut out as if his back and his shoulders want to grow even more.

But he starts to remember. Nothing from what he lost, but of recent times.

Talking and getting to know his dad. Finding the library and seeing if he could find a comic book to surprise a certain someone with later. Meeting a few people in the same boat as him.

Laughing with Billy, feeling completely at ease. Thumbing through a comic book, reciting the Green Lantern's oath and raising their fists up as if they were the very same protectors of the galaxy...

And he starts to shift again, this time letting the claws and plates recede and for the muscles that had broadened out to relax and slim down.]

[Billy watches him transform back, a bit of tension easing out of him. He doesn't let go until Teddy seems almost himself again, sliding one hand away from his cheek and moving to rub his shoulder, instead. The plates have retracted to become soft, pliant flesh, and Billy fights an uncomfortably powerful urge for one long moment before he caves and envelops Teddy in a hug, pressing his cheek against the blond's hair.]

You did it. You made it, T... you're okay.

[His voice is soft, almost inaudible, but he's hoping his actions are speaking loudly enough to make up for it.]

[One of his hands, the one free now that Billy's moved his hand to his shoulder instead, digs into the ground as he feels the muscles shift and the extra appendages slide back into his body. It's strange, and it's weird and he's - he's really some kind of freak. Now that he's normal again, Billy can stand up and leave because he's not what he wants. Who'd want some kid who pops out claws and literal shoulder blades and wings and it probably looks horrifying -

Except no. Billy's hugging him instead, a motion that makes Teddy tense with surprise, and he can hear that whisper near his ear. It makes his cheeks warm and, though he hesitates, he slowly raises his arms up to return that hug and shuts his eyes. For a second, claws rest against Billy's back, but then they vanish, leaving only palms and fingers.]

Thanks to you. [He's still a little scared that Billy will just leave him here. But it just doesn't seem likely now, even if it confuses him.]

All I did was open a door, Ted. You're the one who walked through.

[Billy's smiling as he replies, and it shows in his voice, one hand rubbing soothingly over Teddy's back. He feels the claws on his own back shift to normal, and he's able to relax more fully. He trusts Teddy not to do anything, of course - they're friends, good friends, Jane had said - but accidents happen, and getting himself hurt even by mistake would just have upset Teddy again. It's good that he seems to have it under control, at least for the moment.]

You okay...?

Mmm.

[Though it's a confirming sound, it's also slightly miserable. So he isn't normal. He's the furthest thing from normal, really.

... God.]

Sorry I... freaked you out.

[It was a halfway pointless question - of course he's not okay, who would be okay after that kind of thing? - but it's something a friend would ask, of that much he's certain. Billy is quiet for a long moment, biting his lip, then he finally tugs back, pushing on Teddy's shoulders to ease him up in order to look him in the eyes.]

Sorry I freaked out. Especially since... I don't really have a right to.

[He looks down, briefly, then up again, his expression filled with quiet determination.]

Can I show you something? I was hiding it, but... I don't know why, anymore.

[Teddy's so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't really hear Billy at first, though he's aware that the other teen moved away. Mostly because Teddy feels a sense of loss along with that.

Briefly, very briefly, one hand follows after Billy, only to pause in the air, then quickly return to his side. So maybe that... other fact isn't real, either. He's not about to sacrifice this friendship he's come to treasure just because of that. Some things are far more important than the pursuit of that kind of thing.

Besides, who'd want a freak?]

... Huh? [He blinks out of his thoughts, gaze truly focusing on those brown eyes now.] Oh... yeah. What is it? [He was hiding something?]

[Billy keeps his hands on Teddy's shoulders for a moment longer, reluctant to break contact, but he needs his hands in order to do this. He draws back, shifting on his knees, and holds his hands out on front of himself, focusing on them with an unusual intensity. He'd only done this a few times so far, but each time it got easier, and each attempt more powerful. He's a magician. And, if Jane can be believed, a super hero.

And he wants to share that good news with Teddy, too.

He starts to mutter under his breath, the chant too quiet to be particularly intelligible, but Teddy might be able to make out a few words that repeat: I want or I believe or I can. He's switched them around a few times to see what works best. His eyes flare with a blue inner light, and before long, that same light manifests in his hands, taking the form of a sphere about the size of bowling ball. He cradles it close, a smile slowly crossing his lips.]

...See, Teddy? You're not a freak, and neither am I. We're special. We're heroes.

[Little metaphorical static shocks are left from where Billy left his hands, and Teddy inwardly palms his face with both hands. Teddy Altman, do you really have it this bad?

But instead of giving in to that urge to curl up and allow a hole to swallow him up, he looks at Billy's hands, his expression, then his hands again. He can hear those little phrases, and it makes him frown slightly. What's going on? Is Billy reciting some kind of self-help book or something?

Before Teddy can think on that further, the blue light shines in Billy's eyes, and just as Teddy widens his own, the light appears in his hands and Teddy had shot himself backwards.

Or, rather, he scooted backwards at a high velocity with a yelp. He wasn't scared, and he wasn't even really all that freaked. ... So, okay, maybe he was a little freaked, but he was mostly just surprised.

Is that magic of some sort? Or just lights? Or - By the time Billy looks at him, Teddy's staring at him with wide eyes.

And it really hits when he speaks.

They're... not freaks. In a way, Billy's the same as he is. Teddy's got a body that keeps stretching out of control and Billy's...

Billy's a light bulb. He guesses.

Soon enough, the shock wears away, giving way to wonder. Teddy moves closer again; that light really was beautiful, and even though nothing on Billy was blue, it seemed to match him somehow. He reaches up, fingers just barely hovering over that blue sphere, feeling something like static and warmth and something that could never hurt him, and that makes that funny feeling in his chest that had been growing just blossom all the more.

Teddy flits his gaze up then, to Billy's eyes.]

... We're heroes?

[Billy's smile gets even bigger at that, nodding his head. When Teddy had reacted to the light, he'd nearly faltered, worried that he'd taken it too far and freaked him out again after finally managing to calm him down. But then Teddy relaxes, and asks him that, and... well, Billy just can't stop smiling. He watches Teddy touch the light, carefully keeping it controlled so it doesn't flare outwards. He could never hurt Teddy with his power, just like he knows Teddy wouldn't hurt him with those huge claws.

He barely knows the guy, but he trusts him implicitly. Maybe it's stupid, but Billy really doesn't care.]

Yeah- super heroes. A woman I met here, Jane? She kept her memories, and she knows us. We're even on a team!

EVENT LOG - Amnesia

[oct 1st] /lurk

[oct 1st] ohai /lurk

[oct 1st] so how many threads is this now

[oct 1st] idk five or six?

[oct 1st] that's not even including the redheads is it

[oct 1st] oh god no it isn't

[oct 1st] o h /is okay with this anyway

[oct 1st] i am too so we're good

[oct 1st] /kyaaa

[oct 1st] /EYEBROW WAGGLE

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[oct 1st] i c wat u did thar

[oct 1st] u c nothing!!!

[oct 1st] i saw it i diiiiid

[oct 1st] LIES

[oct 1st] captchaaaaaa 8[

[oct 1st] I SHALL FIX THIS