now she's here, suddenly I know / if she's here, it's crystal clear / I'm where I'm meant to go

[fourteen]

Who: cakeblocked and poppetry
What: The truth.
When: Starting just before sunset of the 21st.
Where: First at house 5, then That One Bridge.
Summary: This has been a long time in coming. Two shy, stupid, utterly oblivious Replicas finally get their shit together and talk. (Also Kukki and I write each other a series of small novels.)
Rating: PG. (This will probably be the most Disney thing to ever Disney in the history of Disney-fied things.)

Xion's first feeling after the experiment had been ... fear. Lingering, terrible fear that none of it was real, despite all the reasoning and arguments and gentle proddings to the contrary. Of course, she'd told Luke she didn't care, that none of it mattered, that she'd make it real...

And those words were true. But even so... even so... it would have been a blow to learn. All those memories... fake? Different? How could they be? It would have hurt so much...

But on waking early that morning, Xion had realized something, after the fear had faded and she'd had some time to sort through everything she remembered. All of it... was the same. Everything. The way she felt when Luke gave her her own little Christmas. The tightness in her chest when Sanji had asked her, very frankly, You really like him, don't you?

Her plan... to tell him her feelings on Valentine's Day. The letter she'd written... in case of the experiment!

She'd leaped out of bed like someone had electrified her, torn between elation and a driving sense of urgency. It was true! It was all true, all real!

And thus she'd come up with a plan. She had several people to speak with, after all -- Ven, poor Ven, Sokka and Fenimore... and Tsuzuki. Xion found herself endlessly, almost stupidly grateful he'd made that silly entry with the socks, giving her the idea to try and circumvent the experiment. Writing out her feelings for Luke in that letter... had made her blush like crazy, but it had felt so, so good to finally admit it, even if he wasn't going to see it just yet. And the idea had worked like a charm, too -- doing exactly what she hoped. Just sitting there in that box, waiting -- for the moment when the experiment would be over, and whatever had happened -- whatever had gone right or wrong -- she could tell Luke the truth, with proof that predated any Malnosso manipulation.

Honestly, she'd have to bake Tsuzuki cookies for this.

Thankfully he'd responded in a timely manner, too -- it'd still been morning when she'd been able to retrieve the letter and beat a hasty retreat back home, to think (and talk to her friends, too). But also ... to decide what to do. Though she knew the words by heart, she read and reread the letter she'd written, her blush slowly fading as the true significance of her words sank in. This was real... in her hands was tangible proof of her feelings. And that meant ... well. She had to talk to him, didn't she?

So it was that she ended up in front of house 5 a few hours later, fidgeting with nervousness, twisting and untwisting her fingers together. It was already well into the afternoon, almost evening, but it had taken all of those hours of reading and thinking and thinking some more to even work up the courage to leave the house again, much less actually walk over to his. After all... just like before, she didn't know for certain if Luke returned her feelings. Even if he'd said ... he'd said ...

Let's... Let's work together to make it real, okay?

B-But that could have been the experiment... right? Yet somehow... she couldn't get the feeling of hope out of her heart. Anxious hope, but hope nonetheless. This just had to be real... They'd practically sworn to each other. Promised, no matter what happened, to make what they had real, to make it work. She had to believe this would happen. After all... as it had turned out, she'd really meant it when she said she didn't want to just be his friend anymore. If he didn't want... if he didn't feel-- she'd take anything he'd give her, of course. Anything! But if he really didn't love her back, it'd ...

Well. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it, if she absolutely must, as much as it would hurt.

There was no turning back now. Moving up to the door, Xion took a deep, steadying breath and raised her hand to knock.

Comments

[fabrecation]

When Luke had woken up the day the experiment ended, he felt the same thing that Xion did: fear. Even when he slowly realized that all those memories of slowly growing closer to Xion were still in his head, he couldn't help but be afraid. What if those were just lingering effects of the experiment? What if they were still fake? It'd be just like them to make them doubt themselves even after everything was over, after all.

Without really thinking about it, Luke had reached over to write in his journal - not the one he used for communication, but the one in which he wrote his entire life. He'd already filled up one book of his first three months here, and now he would write down his insecurities on this next one.

Except... a thought occurred to him. He clearly remembered writing about Xion a few times, and if that memory was fake... the journal would have nothing except maybe a mention or two of her. With his pen hovering over the page, Luke hesitated and doubted, fearing what he might find. But with a deep breath, he flipped back a few pages; past the whole week of what Valentine's Day had unleashed (Luke would have to get rid of those pages, they were far too corny for his tastes) and to the day before Valentine's. Then, to the day he gave Xion his coat and set up a Christmas just for her. Then to the day he found out she was a replica.

It was real. It was real.

The first thing Luke did upon finding that out was slump back in his chair, run a hand through his hair and let out a long, deep sigh of relief as most of the fear rushed out with it. The second thing that he did was open his eyes to stare at the ceiling and smile to himself.

And the third thing that he did was let out a long groan. Sure, his feelings were real... But what about Xion's? She had said that she wanted to make it all real, but what about now, now that the experiment was over? Did she still feel that way? Luke wouldn't be surprised if she didn't - he was a very awkward person when it came to things like this, after all. The past week had told him that.

What should he do about that? Talk to her? Wait for her? Luke wasn't sure at all. He didn't know anything about this kind of thing, after all... He would ask Guy, but it'd be unfair to bog him down with his own problems while he was still recovering from his own. Luke was pretty sure Guy had fallen for someone, and Asch too, so that was just one more issue that the house had to deal with.

Luke had to do this himself.

He got up from his desk, and before he could resolve himself to go looking for Xion, he glanced at the swords in the corner of his room. Every time he looked at them, a ball of guilt welled up in his chest, and this time was no different, despite the revelation that rocked him. During his first draft, Luke was so injured and so scared that he didn't even notice until a couple of weeks later... But Guy had lost a sword that was very important to him, all to save him. The same sword that had hung in the foyer of the manor for as long as Luke could remember... The sword that belonged to the Gardios family. It was gone, and Luke was solely to blame.

Maybe he could find Xion while he checked the weapons store again. Maybe the sword was there, maybe he could give it back and apologize, maybe...

With that thought in mind, Luke got up, headed down the stairs and went to the door, preparing to head out with two goals in mind. Upon pulling open the door and taking a step outside and seeing who was waiting for him, though, Luke abruptly realized that one goal was already accomplished, and way faster than he was expecting.

He stared down at Xion, who looked as if she was about to knock on the door. What was she...?

"... Xion?"

[fourteen]

... oh.

Oh, he was ... he was there. Right there. Right in front of her. Just ... standing there, staring at her and blinking so innocently. Luke fon Fabre. Sweet, good, deeply kind, awkward, easily flustered and easily teased, quietly brave, terribly scared, uncertain, warm, safe, wonderful Luke. The boy she'd come to love so completely. (Replica? The word didn't even cross her mind. How was that relevant? Here? Now? It wasn't. It wasn't at all.)

For a moment she simply stood there, as stunned as he, the wind knocked right out of her chest by the sight of him -- moved so powerfully by emotions she couldn't begin to describe that it took her a second to remember how to breathe.

And then, of course, came the memories. Of that day beneath the tree. Of crying, of almost walking away forever from one of the best things to ever happen to her. Of salvaging at the last moment something barely afloat, of ending up in his arms, of ... of pressing a kiss ... to the corner of his mouth.

Suddenly, this eternal, quiet instant snapped back into reality as she realized what she'd done, and ... and the fact that he was... right now... staring at ... her ...

All at once she jumped practically out of her skin at the exact second her cheeks flamed a deep, embarrassing (but somewhat impressive) crimson. On instinct -- purely on instinct! -- she tried to bolt.

[fabrecation]

For a moment, the two of them just stared at each other. Those tangled and confusing feelings that had made themselves present during the past week returned, and if Luke wasn't convinced that this was real before, this certainly confirmed it for him. He wanted to reach out and hug her, ask her how she's been... maybe apologize for how... forward? he'd been. But he suppressed that urge; it wouldn't do right now, not when there was a clear, awkward tension in the air.

Tension so pressing that Xion turned and started to run. Luke had half expected her to do so, which is how he was able to reach out and grab her shoulder before she could get out of reach.

What was he doing? If she wanted to avoid him or... to never see him again, it'd be okay. Painful, but okay, and understandable. So why was he stopping her?

Because he had to talk to her. He couldn't lose the friendship they shared, even if it could never be anything more. Even a friendship would be more than Luke deserved. So, he held onto her shoulder firmly, sealing off any chance of escape, and he spoke with a raised voice that held a tone of determination: "Xion, wait!"

[fourteen]

She waited.

In fact, she stopped dead in her tracks like someone quite literally froze her in place, the hand on her shoulder aside. His grip ... was warm, and made goosebumps rise on her skin. After another breathless moment, she simply released a long, slow, quiet, tension-easing sigh. Why had she tried to--? Instinct. All instinct. She'd spent too much of her life running away from things that were scary or intimidating...

But she wouldn't run from this. She couldn't. Not when she was so certain of how she felt and so desperately hopeful that maybe, maybe he felt the same way. Slowly, she raised a hand to press it over his -- then finally turned, breaking his grip so she could face him. Her face was still red, her heart pounding much too loudly in her chest and her head -- surely he must hear the thundering -- and her hands ... her hands were shaking, just a little. But this was... this was ... so, so important.

"Luke..." Ah, that -- came out a little weak. Almost hoarse. God, had she ever felt this nervous before? She steeled her courage once more, and finally managed to look at him clearly and quite seriously, her voice now even.

"... I wanted to talk to you."

[fabrecation]

Once the grip was broken, Luke's hand hovered in the air for a moment, as if he was slightly unsure, before he slowly brought it back down to his side. Her hands were shaking; Luke just wanted to reach out and hold them, but... again, that wouldn't do. Anything beyond what he might do as a friend might just be inappropriate and uncalled for, and the last thing he wanted to do was cross the line, to screw up again.

Then Xion spoke, said she wanted to talk to him. Just the look on her face let him know that this was serious. Was it about last week? It had to be; what else could it be? That realization made anxiousness rise up again, the same one that had seized him when he woke up.

I wanted to talk to you.

Who knew those six words could be so foreboding? Luke shifted in his place as a result and reached up - out of nervous habit - to run a hand through the back of his hair, where he had sliced through the long, thick hair months ago.

"... Yeah. I... wanted to talk to you too, actually. Oh, but wait a second-"

With that, Luke turned and rushed inside, back up to his room, where his journal still laid open. If they were going to talk... Luke had to show her this. It'd be risky; there were several other things that he'd write about that he's sure no one would like reading, but... at least the part that made him realize that this was real. Just that.

Luke rested his hand against the pages for a few seconds - he really owed this thing sometimes, then he closed it, held it under his arm and hurried back downstairs. He wouldn't want Xion to think he wanted to escape from her or anything.

Once he was at the door again, he offered a somewhat tight smile, one that betrayed his nerves. "Okay... Where do you want to go?"

[fourteen]

The moment he vanished back into the house, Xion shut her eyes and let out another long, slow breath. This was ... terrifying. Sure, a lot of things scared her, but this ... was in a class all its own. Matters of the heart always were. Xion had come to learn -- through her own scorching trial by fire -- that when you give your heart and your all to someone, you risk so very much. You risk nearly everything you are, everything you have or will ever be, on that person risking the same. Wanting to risk the same. All for you. Just you, little you, worthless little you.

What could possibly be more truly frightening?

The whispers were there, in the back of her mind. They sounded like Saix, and Riku. Worthless, useless, broken little Replica. Can't do anything right, only ever fails, doesn't understand, isn't up to par. She's not like us.

She's not as good. She's not any good at all.

With a violent shake of her head Xion snapped herself out of her thoughts, just in time to see Luke returning. Trying to banish her sudden feelings of foreboding, she nodded ... then gave him a tight smile of her own, pointing down the road. She didn't even bother to articulate where; he'd realize soon enough, if he didn't already. Without a word she tilted her head, indicating for him to follow, and started to walk.

[fabrecation]

Luke had a vague idea of where they were going, but he'd have to actually go there to make sure. With a nod, he followed her silently, shifting the book in his arm and pursing his lips every few seconds.

This was terrifying. Facing Van for the final time was terrifying, trying to dodge all of Guy's attacks when he was affected by the Curse Slot was terrifying, but this was a different kind of fear. There was nothing for him to lash out against - no swords to clash his own into, no way for him to yell out attack names and, at the same time, his own fear, and no way for him to just steel his nerves and brave his fear enough to charge forward into battle.

Luke's expression seems a little blank, even faraway, as his thoughts run through his head. He can't help but wonder what it would've been like if he hadn't met Xion; Would he be like he always was? Would his crush on Tear grow into something more? If that were the case, would she be the one in Xion's place? For a second he even imagines it: Tear walking in front of him with her brown hair swaying in the wind, and he'd probably be just as nervous - No, no no no, this isn't about Tear right now. It's Xion who's in front of him, the one who's making his heart thud in his chest, the one who makes him want to rush to the spot where they're going and turn and run away at the same time.

He might have given a light shake of his head before he focused again, and by the time he did, he saw where they were going. The bridge... That bridge. Where they first told each other what they were - replicas, made to be weapons, to be used and thrown away... That's how this whole thing started, didn't it?

Luke scratched at the side of his neck lightly as they made it onto the bridge, and once he stopped, unable to lift his gaze from the bridge, he tried to speak. He had to say it all now; if not now, then when?

"Xion... I..."

At that moment, his stupid nerves decided to clam up. Oh, not now...

[fourteen]

"You know... I've had so many things happen to me on this bridge."

Xion ... was smiling. It was a much more relaxed smile, now. Even kind of ... free. Xion turned her head up into the cold breeze that was blowing up the river and clasped her hands over the railing of the bridge, leaning onto it slightly. She'd turned to face the western railing -- and the slowly sinking sun.

Sunset. It was just as beautiful as she always remembered.

"I've fought on this bridge. I fell off this bridge... twice! I came and hid here on Halloween when everything had gotten just a little too scary. I've come to sit on this railing so many times and think... once, I even sat here while I asked everyone... if it was strange to want to go home, even if there was nothing there for you."

On that, her smile turned a little hollow, and a little sad. Luke knew what awaited her, at home. He'd know how dark and morbid a question that had been. That had been one of the darkest moments of her entire long stay in Luceti. But she did not elaborate; he'd know, without her having to explain. It was part of what made him so special.

"I came here when I needed to think, after Vanitas attacked Axel, and ... it was here that you told me ... that you're just like me."

Finally, she turned her head to look at him, her gaze quiet, assessing ... but unafraid.

On the way over, in that tense silence, she'd had plenty of time to think. After hours and hours and hours of agonizing and indecision and just plain nerves, it had taken just a short few minutes that seemed like forever to make up her mind. And with her decision, all her fears had fallen away.

Xion knew, in her heart of hearts, that as long as they both were here, she'd always have Luke. They'd come too far now to ever stop being friends. So no matter what... she'd always have that. She'd always have him, by her side. But she'd never have more ... unless she told him the truth.

With a small nod to herself, Xion stood up straight and reached into her pocket. Out came a letter -- the letter -- in a simple, unadorned envelope on which was written only Luke's name. With (mostly) steady hand, Xion held it out, holding at bay the dull clanging of her nerves.

"Here. I wanted to show you this. It ... should explain everything."

Was she biting her lip slightly? Oh yes, she was, and trying not to blush. The letter reads thusly:

Luke,

It wasn't quite true when I told you that you knew all my secrets. The big ones, anyway. There's just one more, but it's a new one, one I've only had since I met you.

You know, my whole life changed that day on the bridge when you told me you were a Replica, too. I guess for the first time, I didn't feel so lonely anymore. But it made me kind of sad, too, to know that you'd been through what I'd been through.

But still, I'm so glad you told me. It's nice not to be alone, and to know there's someone out there who understands.

Thanks to you, I feel like I'm learning so many new things. I can't help but see the world differently now. I even see myself a little differently. I've never really thought about my name that much, but it sounds special when you say it.

I'm glad you're with me, Luke. I always feel safe when I'm with you, and happy. Even if we're talking about things that are hard or sad . . . it isn't as bad, because I'm talking about them with you. You've come to mean so much to me. You make me want to be stronger. You make me want to be a better person, when I'm around you.

I've been scared to tell you this secret for a long time now, because I didn't know how you felt. But I wanted to be brave, just this once.

Luke . . . my last secret is that I love you.

I wrote this letter before Valentine's Day, and I'm having someone hold onto it for me, until the experiment is over. So if you're reading it now - I hope the experiment wasn't too bad, and . . . Happy (late) Valentine's Day.

-Xion

[fabrecation]

Luke had lifted his head and listened quietly to Xion, staring at her back and letting her speak. He wasn't... really sure where she was going with all of this, though he was glad to hear it all the same. This bridge was clearly important to her... In the middle of her talk, Luke looked along the bridge, then past it, into the entrance of the plaza. It was easy to see why this place was so special, aside from all of her memories. It was a really nice place...

And when she speaks to him, he gave her his attention once more. She studied him, just as he did to her - how could she be so calm? Luke was absolutely nervous, though one could only tell by the worried crease in his brow and how he held the book close to his side. It's possible that his voice might have closed up entirely - Luke wasn't sure what to say or what to do. Thankfully, Xion helped him out by giving him the letter.

A letter that he had to read multiple times. The first time he had stopped right at the "I love you", then read it again. His eyes slowly widened, his cheeks started to turn red, and his mouth gaped open a little.

She... loved him? Really, truly? The same way that he did for her? Luke's first thought was to deny it, but there it was, written for him and made plain as day. So everything... her singing, her blushing, everything... he wasn't just thinking too much about it during the experiment?

The shock of it nearly made him drop his journal, and he let out a startled noise and grabbed at it, catching it by the spine. He couldn't lose it - couldn't. And now that his train of thought was broken, now that he had the letter in one hand and the book in the other, held at his sides rather awkwardly, he snaps his gaze from the book to her. It takes him a bit of work, some opening and closing his mouth, but then he finally speaks up.

"You... You wrote this? For me...?"

[fourteen]

Well. Now that she wasn't so scared, a different emotion had roared up to take fear's place. Nervousness. Boat loads of it, singing through her veins and making her fidget as he read. And read. And ... reread.

And flailed. And nearly dropped everything. And stared. And gaped. And opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

It was purely out of nerves that Xion started to laugh, though the sound died quickly. God, she couldn't really tell if she was coming or going right now.

"Yeah. I think ... back on the sixth. But ... I've actually known how I felt for a long time now. At least since January... when Sanji was a woman." God, she was-- with a blink, Xion lifted her hands to her cheeks, and groaned. She was red -- so red, so stupidly red -- and she knew it. God, this was painful. Flustered and painfully shy, she looked down at her feet for a long moment, hands still pressed to her face, then looked up at him uncertainly through her eyelashes.

"What did you... um." God, how could she just -- ask? It was so-- what if he didn't-- Come on, Xion, get a grip! "You... had something you wanted to tell me too, didn't you?" Even if it was a rejection... even if he'd figured out how she felt a long time ago, or the experiment had made it obvious, and he was just going to let her down gently with that (adorable) sheepish smile of his while he rubbed the back of his neck and looked apologetic and--

Don't think that way. Don't. Xion lowered her hands to clasp them over her chest, instead, but now found she couldn't quite meet his eyes.

1/2 goddamn 8|

[fabrecation]

When Sanji was a- that was still very, very weird to think about.

And she spoke, asked him what he wanted to tell her... What did he- Ah. That's right, he wanted to tell her... What she told him. But how does he- Luke didn't even know the first thing about-

Then, Xion clasped her hands and looked away. Luke's fear - he wasn't even sure why it was still there - continued to hammer at his chest, but... he wanted to make her happy again. And if she... loved him, then maybe this would do it.

"I was... Xion, I..." Luke managed to stutter out, but that was all. His throat was betraying him again, and he turned his head away and frowned to himself. Come on, Luke, spit it out.

But... Maybe he didn't have to. In his line of sight was his journal, the very thing he was going to use to show her how he felt. If she could give him a letter, then he could give her one, too. Sort of. It'd be so much easier than trying to say it, anyway.

While he kept the letter tucked between his fingers, he lifted the journal to flip through pages - he missed the mark a couple of times out of his own nervousness, a sort of elated nervousness now that his own fear was starting to melt away. Come on, come on- no, not the mushy mess of the Valentine's entries- ah, there. Luke rested his fingertips against the page for a few seconds, then held out the journal to Xion with a small, yet growing smile.

"Just... read this." And the journal read:

2/2

[fabrecation]

The calendar says it's February 13th today. How do you even pronounce that? I still don't know what that is compared to Auldrant's calendar, and I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. I don't even know when my birthday is...

But I guess that isn't really important. It isn't my birthday, anyway... The important day comes up tomorrow. Valentine's Day... We've never had a holiday like that in Auldrant, and I'm kind of glad for it. I don't think I've ever been this nervous before! I already talked about how Guy made me realize... and I'm still not really sure how I'm going to do this.

I spent all day today trying to find something like a field of flowers. It was getting dark by the time I got back, and I still didn't find anything. I was kind of disappointed... It would've been great to lead her there and have her close her eyes because it's a surprise... Like that one story! It only occurred to me after I got back that a lot of flowers've already died out. That was pretty stupid of me, huh?

I still wanted to find something to give her. Maybe I can't tell her how I feel yet... but I still wanted to show that I care for her. I stopped by the flower shop to see if there was anything I could get her, though a lot of the things were cut... I don't really want to give that. Cut flowers die after a while, you know? I want to give her something that lasts for a long time... Wouldn't she like that?

Then I found three iris unguicularis. Right when I saw them, I knew they'd be the ones I'd give to her! They last all winter, and you don't really need to take care of them very much... They'd be perfect! And they're blue, too, like her eyes... Best of all, they're in a pot! They won't die out, like the roses and the tulips. Maybe... Maybe now if she's sad, or just wants to see something besides the snow, she can look outside and see the flowers there. Flowers that can last even in the cold... Maybe she'll be happy when she sees them.

That's all I really want out of this. I want her to be happy... That's why I can't say anything yet. I don't want her to feel awkward or obligated or anything.

... That isn't all of it, though. What I'm feeling isn't like what I felt with Sylvia, or with Tear. It's a lot more than that. I've never felt like this with anyone else... I've never had anything like this before. If I ruined it just because of these feelings I have... I don't know what I'd do.

Someday, I'll tell her how I feel. Maybe she can accept it. Maybe she'd even...

But I probably shouldn't hope for it. So I'll write it here, just to remind me what I need to say later.

I love really like kind of I don't know love her... Xion. This isn't just a crush, it's...

... Man, now I can't stop blushing. I should just stop here.

[fourteen]

At first, Xion had no idea what to make of what she was reading. Initially she just looked the entry over, marveling a little at its length. Her diary entries had never been this long... Then again, she'd never used it that much, really... even though Saix had told her to. (Heck, maybe that was why.)

And when she really settled in to read it.... she initially didn't know how to make sense of it. Why was she reading this? But then came the field of flowers... and the first mention of "her." Just seeing the word made her chest clench so tightly it was actually a little painful, a rush of emotions so intense she had to move a little, shift her stance and her grip on the journal. He couldn't mean... it couldn't be... maybe it was someone else and this was his gentle way of letting her down...?

Okay, that line of reasoning didn't even really make sense. So Xion read on, and of course-- of course--

Reached the irises. The irises he'd given her.

Much like Luke just a moment prior, Xion nearly dropped the journal in her shock, actually exclaiming aloud.

"You... I... the flowers! You--?" No, no, Xion, keep reading! Finish the stupid thing before you start asking questions! Unbelievably flustered, she shook her head and resumed reading, much quicker this time around. Of course, by now, there wasn't much left... except those words. I love her... Xion.

Slowly, Xion closed the journal, for a moment just ... lost for words. Throughout the entire reading, amazement had crept across her expression, faint at first, becoming stronger as she approached those critical words. Now she looked stunned, dazed, like someone had punched her right in the face. Just as slowly -- slower -- she slid her eyes back up to his, barely daring to hope. But ... she'd really read that. That was real. He ... he ...

Luke loved her. Just like she loved him.

In a sudden, reflexive motion Xion hugged the journal to her chest, her shock breaking apart to make way for joy. It lit her expression from behind with such warmth that for a moment she actually looked a little different. The glow of love, after all, is a powerful thing. With a breath, she gathered herself up -- as if for an outburst, or an exclamation -- then asked:

"You ... don't know how to pronounce February?"

Oh, god. After that she just couldn't hold it together, and broke down in hysterical, ecstatic giggles. He loved her! He loved her, he loved her!

[fabrecation]

Luke's smile had turned into a grin as she read, and he even gave a somewhat happy, somewhat smug sound when she asked about the flowers before he gestured for her to keep reading. He could just... leap into the air and punch his arms up and shout for joy; she loves him! She really does!

Except he didn't, because that would just look silly and Xion would probably laugh at him. Instead, he shoved his hands into his coat pockets and gripped them into fists to hide his excitement until she was done.

And she did. And she was shocked, just like him when he first read her letter, which was still gripped in his hand and sticking out of his pocket. And she looked so... happy. Luke had never seen her look that happy before, and to know that he was the one that made it happen...

It made something warm rise up in his chest.

He took in a deep breath and leaned forward a bit, just to try and gather up his nerves and says the words for himself, when-

...

She had to bring that up?

Luke was on such an emotional high that he reacted quite brilliantly to that: He choked on his words, loosened and clenched his hands again, widened his eyes... Then blushed furiously, this time out of embarrassment, and shrugged his shoulders while he looked away; Still, he didn't look too annoyed. He was too elated to feel that way, even over her teasing him (again)!

"I-Yeah, so? We don't have that month in Auldrant! How was I supposed to know how to say it?!" He stammered in an effort to defend himself, and he just hoped Xion wouldn't ask him how he'd been pronouncing it.

[fourteen]

Xion dropped the journal. She was in such fits she literally could not hold onto it any longer. But that was okay. It wasn't going anywhere. And besides, with her hands free... she could repeat what she'd done once before, only this time with feeling!, and throw herself into his arms with absolutely no warning. Only, well... she rather misjudged the force of her combined tackle and hug.

With a shriek from her, the two went down in a great heaping tangle of limbs and bodies and things, while Xion continued to laugh all the while. It was like she couldn't stop. She knew there were a lot of words for this feeling -- happiness, joy, elation, glee, bliss -- but none of them felt quite right, none of them quite put a name to the bubbling, singing warmth suffusing her whole body. So she simply lay there on top of him, on that bridge of so many memories, and laughed until she cried.

She honestly could not remember ever feeling this good in her entire life.

When finally she was able to regain her breath, she gave a great big sigh and folded her arms on his chest before resting her chin on them, seemingly at peace. Right now, she couldn't've cared less who walked by or saw or made a comment or anything. Who cared? Truly? She'd just confessed to the boy she loved, and he loved her too. Nothing, nothing, could have brought this mood down. Nothing.

"It was real." She unfolded one of her arms, to reach up and touch his face, then his hair. "All along, it was real. But I guess... it really didn't matter." After briefly toying with a lock of that bright red hair, Xion returned her fingers to his face, to stroke them lightly over his cheek. "... I love you."

[fabrecation]

At first Luke had taken his hands out of his pockets and opened his mouth to tell her to be careful with that journal, because that held all of his memories and he wasn't sure what he'd do if it suddenly fell into the river, but his words caught in his throat, again, and turned into a surprised yell as she practically launched herself at him and brought them both down to the bridge. The letter went flying out of Luke's hand, but thankfully, it landed right near his journal, which was big enough to keep it safe from the light wind that threatened to push it into the river.

For a moment, Luke just laid there with wide eyes as he tried to figure out why the sky was suddenly right in front of his face while his wings twitched and ached from the hard fall. But after realizing what Xion done, and once he paid attention enough to realize that she was laughing, but not at him. No, she was just... happy. And at that moment, it didn't matter that his wings ached or that they both looked ridiculous; Luke wrapped his arms around her and laughed with her. They must've looked so silly, wrapped up like this and laughing and blushing while draped over the bridge, but it didn't matter. They were here, and they loved each other, and that was all that mattered.

When they both calmed down, and Xion touched his face and hair, and said... that, Luke responded with a somewhat helpless smile and a deeper redness in his cheeks. It felt... nice, being touched like this, and hearing... that. Still, he couldn't get over those words - they held so much weight that it was hard to get them out of his throat. He opened his mouth, was silent for a second, then said in return, "... Yeah. I... love you too." Again, it was said in a rush, just like the first time he said it to her. Quickly, he moved on to something else, "I didn't tell you, but... That week was the happiest I've ever been." He chuckled slightly, "I guess we've got a lot to look forward to!"

[fourteen]

And so letter and journal lay safely curled up together, much like their respective writers. For the moment -- however brief, however passing -- Xion simply lay in Luke's arms and basked in the feelings of safety and comfort and love. Real, true love.

It was nice, like that.

Of course, when he spoke the words back to her -- the weight of them hit her right in the chest, making her the littlest bit dizzy, and she had to bury her face in his chest to hide her giddiness. It was all strange and new and unnameable and... with Riku, there had been something almost like this, sometimes. Almost. But it had never quite been ... like this.

"You know, I..." Oh, gosh. How could she say it? I think you're one of the best things that's ever happened to me. She told him she loved him, why couldn't those words--? But it was a little too much... for now. She'd tell him, someday. "... me too." And with a soft smile and one last brush of his cheek, she carefully got up off of him, the moved to retrieve their fallen things. With that done, she turned to face him, journal and letter clutched in her arms, and ... smiled, a warm, wide, brand new thing. And her words -- "So, what now?" -- held a quiet promise of all those things to come, all the things to look forward to.

Of course... there was one thing she hadn't gotten to do all week. It had been on her mind... especially that day beneath the tree. But without any of that oh-so-helpful fruit in her system, she wasn't even really brave enough to think about it, much less suggest it or do something really brazen like actually go for it. So instead she shyly tucked her hair behind her ear and waited on him.

[fabrecation]

Once Xion got off of him, Luke had to lay there for a moment, unable to believe his luck. Just a while ago he was so afraid that the week before might have ruined whatever friendship they had, or at least put a strain to it, but now... Here he was. Stuff like this didn't happen to Luke, yet...

With a long sigh, he sat up, then stretched his lips and scowled a little when his wings started flapping out of his control. That was something he still never got the hang of; he never liked for his wings to be touched - in fact, he'd only let Guy do it when he couldn't reach a spot that needed to be cleaned. When they were bothered, they'd shake and flutter, and it took some control to get them to calm the hell down.

When he was able to do that, he sighed, then looked at Xion as he stood and moved to be beside her, closer than he usually would. Now that she was here, Luke wanted to do so many things - hug her, hold her hand... k-kiss-NO, he couldn't do that! Just... do things together. But what?

... What had Guy told him? ... Oh. Oh, that's right. When the thought occurred to Luke, he ducked his head just a little and glanced at her, as if he was about to offer something that made him feel slightly awkward.

"Now? Um, well... Maybe we should... go on a date?"

[fourteen]

Well, wasn't that urge to touch his wings just atrocious. Xion hadn't been able to help but stare in curiosity as his wings fluttered out of control like that, her own wings twitching and flapping in unconscious response. She kept staring, head tilted slightly to the side, as he moved over to her, then looked up at his face.

... later. She'd pet his wings later. Now was probably not the time to reach out and start petting his wings... no matter how ... terribly tempting ... it was ...

...

Right, so with that, Xion took a step even closer and reached up, around his arm, to very gently brush at some of the feathers... though she continued to look at his face. And when he asked that question, with that look...

She couldn't help but grin. Gosh, they were close now. She wanted to reach out, in some other way than just ... touching his wing ... but could not quite bring herself to be so brave as that. With a sigh, Xion lowered her hand and beamed at him.

"I'd like that."

However... there was one thing. Xion looked out to the west, toward the still-setting sun. It was nearly down by now... sunset always went too quick, here. It made her miss Twilight Town, sometimes. (A lot of the time.) Regardless, night was going to fall soon. Where could they go? She looked back up at him with innocent thoughtfulness. "But where should we go?"

[fabrecation]

At Xion's touch, the wing leaned away, because it was an unfamiliar touch and - and odd, not grooming but...

It felt nice to Luke, but not to the wings. After a few brushes of his wing, it started to flutter again, the other one moving in turn. Maybe someday they'd relax and let Xion be one of the Chosen Few, but for right now... No, not even the girl could get close to them.

But Luke didn't have the heart to acknowledge them, because Xion just accepted his offer, and that made him beam in turn. She... She said yes! They could go on a date! ... Except Luke still wasn't entirely sure what a date was, but it didn't sound too hard.

And with Xion looking towards the sun like that...

Night time was near, but the sun still filtered through the trees and splashed them with dying colors. Xion still looked happy, and with those colors shining on her...

Luke leaned forward, intending to surprise her with a kiss on her cheek-

And then she turned to look up at him and ask the question.

... Oh dear Yulia and Score and everything else that people on Auldrant swear by Xion was so close to his face right now. And a part of his mind told him that if he leaned forward just a couple of inches more, he'd... he'd...

The thought made him panic a little, and instead of doing what his mind was nudging him to do, he leaned to the side to go for his intended target: a kiss on the cheek. It seemed quick, like a peck more than a kiss, and he blushed and looked off to the side towards the river as he pulled back and just registered what she asked him.

"I... I don't know, maybe... uh... G-Good Spirits? Wait, no, uh..."

[fourteen]

Ba dump.

It was almost ... comical. She felt the thud of her heart against her chest, felt it in her throat and fingertips and in the pit of her stomach, too. Normally it wasn't ... so overstated ... even around him. Sure, sometimes she'd feel like maybe ... it was a little harder to breathe ...

But the sudden thump thump momentarily took her breath away, and her eyes were so, so wide as he pressed his lips to her cheek. However briefly! And then he was standing straight, looking away and blushing... always blushing. It looked so cute on him. And it was because of her. Because of this... this thing that they suddenly had. And he'd just... their faces had been so close.

Immediately, Xion's cheeks flamed a bright red as she looked at him, but the color faded almost as quickly. It was all she could do to simply ... look at him. Stare, really. Perhaps it was the light, the reds and golds and oranges washing over them as the sun gave one last great gasp of light. Perhaps it was the setting itself, the bridge over the water, the idyllic view. Perhaps it was the cold surrounding them, in such stark contrast to the warmth in her chest. Perhaps it was the look on his face, in his eyes...

It wasn't that Xion really understood physical attractiveness. Sure, as an abstract concept, it kind of made sense, but it was not a thing she could really pretend to understand or even pay attention to. It had never much mattered to her, really. After all, she'd been "raised" without such societal standards of attractiveness. So it wasn't that she saw Luke as, say, "cute." Or even handsome, if she'd really had a grasp of the idea. Not that he was bad looking... it simply wouldn't've mattered to her either way.

But in this moment ... something about this moment ... in a way that had nothing to do with any physical standards, Xion found him strangely beautiful.

"Luke."

Her smile was warm, tiny and calm, as she leaned up on her tiptoes, lifting a hand to lightly touch -- hold -- his cheek.

Then she leaned in close, and shut her eyes, and kissed him gently, gently, on the lips.

Perhaps she could be so brave, after all.

Never mind |D

[fabrecation]

"... Xion?"

It was all Luke could say at that point, really, as Xion held his cheek and stood on her toes. He knew what was coming, and panic settled again - he'd never been kissed before! Not like this! Sure, he'd give kisses on the cheek to his mother but... that was it! Not this!

Those thoughts made him lean his head back just a little, because this was very new and honestly kind of scary. But she made it anyway, and his eyes went wide while his cheeks flamed up even more and his body froze in place. This was... completely different from kisses on the cheek. There was a soft, tingling pressure against his lips which made warmth travel through his body, making him feel a little light-headed. For a moment he couldn't even breathe, couldn't even move, as if the world had shifted and he was just trying to stay balanced until it stopped.

There... wasn't much else that he could do thanks to that.

.................................... /judges quietly...

[fourteen]

Oh.

Well.

This was a little distressing, wasn't it... the fact that he wasn't responding. She felt more than saw Luke freeze up, what with her eyes closed, and though she lingered for a moment... she couldn't help but blink and pull away when she felt no real response. Had she startled him that badly? ... maybe ... he didn't like it?

Abruptly shamefaced and deeply embarrassed, Xion took a step back, lifting her free hand to rub the back of her neck, looking anywhere but at him. In her other arm she shifted his journal and the letter, a nervous gesture.

"S-Sorry. I just... I don't know what I was..."

B|

[fabrecation]

It was all Luke could do to keep himself standing and not fall right on his bottom. Xion had just... And he...

He liked it. Luke stared ahead, barely even hearing Xion as he raised a hand towards his lips, though he didn't touch them... He glanced down at his hand, and he wondered... What had he been so afraid of? That was...

With that same hand, he reached forward to hold Xion's cheek, just as she did to him, and he followed it a second later. Though he hesitated at first, if only because he wasn't sure if he was doing this right, he still completed the journey and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle, if just slightly awkward, kiss.

Yeah. He really should listen when his mind nudges him to do things next time.

ps you should tag me back on the draft post. B|

[fourteen]

I love you.

It was the only coherent thought in Xion's mind after he caught back up to her, captured her face in the same way and ... and kissed her. It was a little like stars. Something -- something shining and bright, fizzing beneath her skin and making her feel.... making her feel like....

Like not only was everything okay -- but everything was wonderful. Beautiful. Perfect.

Xion leaned right up into that kiss, practically melted into it, and simply sighed, quietly.

I guess we've got a lot to look forward to!

As Xion finally broke the kiss, eyes fluttering open as a tiny, secret smile crossed her face, she couldn't help but think about those words ... and how prophetic they were already turning out to be. They were going to have a future together... hopefully a long, happy one. (With lots of kisses just like that.)

Happy? 8|

[fabrecation]

Luke pulled back about the same time Xion did, and his own eyes remained shut for a second before they opened to look down at her in a way that suggested he was thinking the very same thing. They were really... together, weren't they? And they'd be like this for... however long it'd last. Luke certainly hoped it'd be a long time...

Then he remembered how he reacted when she first kissed him. How she reacted... Luke was feeling a little too giddy to feel too bad about it, but he still chuckled quietly, helplessly, and ducked his head to break the eye contact.

"... Sorry about that. I never..."

After those words, however, he lifted his head again, a serious expression on his face as he reached out to take her hands. He wanted to let Xion understand... so that maybe that wouldn't happen again. "Xion, I... I might make a lot of mistakes. I've never done this before..."

mmhmm. :3

[fourteen]

It finally occurred to Xion to slip the letter into her pocket -- she didn't want it getting carried away by the ever-present breeze over the water. With it went the journal; it'd be nice to actually have her hands free, to--

Well. He sort of took care of that, by reaching out... even if the look on his face was a little worrisome. She curled her hands in his grip, holding his hands in turn, eyes searching his face. But then he said those words ... and her own eyebrows drew up in a look of some concern.

"Luke... it's okay." I have. But she didn't want to think about that right now. "I might too. But ... we're in this together, right? We'll figure something out."

... that didn't sound right. Xion pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes in thought for a moment. Mistakes... mistakes meant hurt. Pain. Maybe even fear, worry.... but she loved Luke. Even if they got things wrong...

It was only belatedly she realized she'd said those two things aloud. I love you. Even if we get things wrong... Surprised by her own admission, Xion blinked and bit her lip, then continued. "... that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, right?" She tried to swallow the note of uncertainty. "But ... we'll make them together, and get through them together. Okay?"

[fabrecation]

And with those words, Luke squeezed her hands and smiled. Xion might have looked concerned, but... everything would be okay. She was right - they were in this together. They might make a few mistakes, like Luke freezing and acting like a fish out of water when she kissed him... But they'd work through it. Luke was sure of it.

"Okay."

Not every relationship was happy all the time. Luke knew that just from watching Guy and Asch, knowing that they were happy together, but also seeing Asch storm off for time alone (he was even in his head for one of those times), or the two of them being tense around each other... For that matter, how did last week go for them? Luke would have to ask later. Right now, he pushed that thought aside to focus on Xion.

"We'll work together. Then nothing will stop us, right?"

[fourteen]

Oh god. After a line like that, Xion couldn't help but let a giggle sneak out.

"Remember what we were saying last week, about corny lines? ... that was pretty corny."

There was a mischievous, teasing look in her eye as she said it -- and slipped her arms around his neck, pressing close to him with a content, happy sigh. "But you're right, corny or not. I'm ... I'm really excited. About the future." The one we're gonna share. But she didn't say that -- just grinned against him. Her wings, though -- they fluttered and flapped, stretching and moving and doing all the dancing for joy that she herself was not.

[fabrecation]

"... What? That wasn't-"

And then she hugged him. See now, that wasn't fair, cutting off his defending himself like that. But he still mock scowled, then sighed and rested a hand on top of her head while he looked up at the sky. And at her words, he couldn't help but let the scowl fade in favor of a smile. He was excited, too... Especially since this was his first time ever doing something like this. He knew that Xion had been in a relationship before, but... he would do his best to let her be happy and not let it end like theirs did.

"... Yeah. Heh, and to think we were so scared before all this!" Luke remarked with a light chuckle; oh yes, he had been terrified. And if he was that scared, he's pretty sure Xion felt that way, too. But now...

Now, Luke lightly ruffled her hair as he looked down and offered, "Hey, why don't we go to Seventh Heaven? I don't know if there's anyone there this late at night, but..."

Well, Luke kind of preferred it that way. No customers looking at them, no Sanji to make him nervous and self-aware... Maybe he could even show her what he's learned with the piano.

[fourteen]

"I was terrified!" But thinking about it made her laugh now, at least. "I was convinced you didn't like me that way... I was so scared of ruining our friendship. Especially after the experiment... but I guess I never had to worry."

Oh what, why so hair ruffling. Xion let out a tiny, undignified squawk, bringing one of her hands back to flatten her hair. In return she stuck her tongue out at him, patting her hair back down at the same time. By the time she got it mostly tamed, he'd made his suggestion, and she had a moment to consider it in thought as she slipped her arm back around his neck.

"It's not that late..." Once more, Xion glanced out to the west. The sun had finally set, and though the world was falling into twilight.... she thought the restaurant would probably still be open. "... but that sounds like a good idea. It'd make a nice, um... first date." The blush was pretty obvious in her voice, if not on her face -- since she was burying that in his chest. At least for a moment, until she managed to look up and smile shyly.

"... but before we go ... can I ask you something?"

She had to. She just had to. It had been on her mind the entire last week... ever since she'd heard his voice. Ever since she'd put her whole heart into singing for him...

"... could you sing for me?"

[fabrecation]

So there probably were people there. Well... He could handle it. Luke isn't a recluse like Asch and all. So what if people look at them? He didn't care. Nope. ... And maybe being with Xion, in this way, will make all the rest of the things he's worrying about not matter as much. They'd be okay. And... yeah, it would be a nice place for a first... d-date.

Gaaah he had to blush. Well. At least she had her face in his chest so that she couldn't see his own, though he lifted his head just in case.

But then she looked up at him and...

...

"... Sing?" Right there? Right now? With Xion staring at him so expectantly and - and where everyone could hear?

[fourteen]

"Please?" Her puppy dog eyes in that moment were ones of great power. "That night... when you heard me sing for the last time. And I went outside to sing for you. I was... um..." Here she blushed, biting her lip, but she did want to tell him the truth. "Since you'd asked me, I ... I put everything I felt about you in that song. Even though I wasn't singing any words, it was... it was sorta like I was saying..." Here, she blushed harder, and shifted from foot to foot. Singing her love for him, rather than saying it... it had felt so bittersweet. Somehow, the thought of them singing their feelings for each other... honestly, without the true meaning being hidden or coded... made her blush harder than the thought of kissing had. There was something just awfully romantic about it.

"I-- I'd just... love to hear your voice, that's all."

[fabrecation]

"But Xiooon..."

There was probably a whine in that tone of his. His hand fell away from her hair so that he could hang his arms and look just as exasperated as possible, though with how over the top it was... well, considering how emotional Luke is, it's hard to tell whether he's serious or not.

"I don't like singing." And there lay the entire reason behind why he was always so quiet and reluctant while he'd sing. Luke always enjoyed hearing songs and music, but definitely not singing it. He wasn't sure why, it was just... He felt like all eyes would be on him and judging him, and it didn't help that he'd be absolutely embarrassed by the end of it by anyone who listened to him...

But still... The way she was looking at him, and Luke felt those puppy dog eyes staring at him even while he looked up at the sky. It was really hard to say no to those eyes, especially when it was something like singing, even if he didn't like doing it.

So, while he stared at the sky, Luke pursed his lips, then started to hum. It was nothing really comprehensible at first, just a few notes to warm up a bit. And to think of a song. Just the right one for her to hear...

[fourteen]

"You don't?" The surprise in her voice was quite genuine, reflected in the way she blinked at him. "No way! I thought you were just embarrassed this whole time... But your voice is so..."

Xion didn't have time to say anything further. Because then he started to sing, and it just arrested the breath in her chest. His voice was gorgeous, there was no getting around that. And he didn't like to sing?! Somehow, one way or another, Xion would have to cure him of that.

But the very least she could do was complete her thought. Maybe it'd change his mind...

"... it's beautiful. How could you not like it...?"

[fabrecation]

Luke cut off his humming and glanced at her while he turned away a little, just so that he could face the railing instead of the bridge, and scowl just slightly, as if he was merely embarrassed.

"B-Because of stuff like that..." He muttered. And it was the truth: while some praise was practically eaten up by Luke in the past, compliments that were so... deep and genuine would just embarrass him and make him not want it anymore. After so long, it'd sound... fake. And they weren't, he knew it, but he'd just get tired of hearing it. Couldn't he do a mediocre job at it just once? Apparently not.

He leaned against the railing and continued on; "And... I guess I just don't like the way it feels. I want to listen to it, not listen to myself. It hurts my throat, too... It's just annoying when I do it.

"But I guess if you like it..."

That didn't mean he'd suddenly change his mind about singing. It's a viewpoint he held on to for years, one that even crossed over from the way Asch was wired. Neither of them particularly liked singing despite being good at it.

But if she liked it... He'd do it, since she asked. He ducked his head and hummed a few bars, still trying to pick out a song. There were a lot to choose from, yet some weren't even suited for singing, and some just... weren't enough. Not for her. Not for this moment.

[fourteen]

Sure he could, sometimes. If he was sick, or tired. Or even if he just wasn't feeling it. But there is such a thing as having a natural gift... a talent. And when you have real talent all your own, well... certainly everyone has off days, but an off day is not the same as being mediocre. Luke would never sound truly mediocre, and Xion knew that instinctively. It was why she insisted, really.

But as she listened to him, watched him turn away, she sighed and moved to stand beside him at the railing, reaching a hand up to card her fingers through his hair from the back. The last thing she wanted was to make him do something he genuinely didn't like. Whatever the reason... it didn't matter. She wouldn't force him. Knowing he was singing when he didn't even want to... when it actually hurt his throat? It wouldn't sound as sweet, somehow.

For a moment more in silence she moved her fingers through his hair, listening to him hum, before she shook her head. "Luke... don't. It's okay. Of course I like it, but... I like it more when you're happy. If you don't want to sing... you don't have to."

She gave his hair an affectionate ruffle before leaning both arms on the railing, leaning forward so she could glance up at his face and smile crookedly. "I'll sing for you. After all... I do like it."

[fabrecation]

A memory flashed in Luke's mind once she started to run her fingers through his hair, a sign of affection that he was sure he'd never grow tired of. He was twelve, almost a teenager... rather, almost three when he peeked into the meeting room and saw his mother and father, fingers entwined and dancing slowly together. He'd watched for a moment before he grew bored and moved away - good thing, too, as a couple of the maids had been looking for him and would've found him easily if he stayed.

Come to think of it, it was one of the few times he'd seen his mother and father truly together like that. Other times, they'd seem so... distant. Supporting each other, but at an arm's length. He glanced at Xion, who was saying something, and he couldn't help but wonder if they'd be like that in the future...

He desperately hoped they wouldn't. No, not just hoped; he wouldn't let that happen.

And really... he could handle singing, if it was just for her, if he didn't have to do it too much. Maybe, anyway... He certainly could now, as he looked away from her crooked smile and her offer and answered it with that very same song from his memory, the one that his father and mother shared a rare, affectionate moment to. One that he hoped would stay with him and Xion for... for however long they decided to be together.