lucetilogs | now she's here, suddenly I know / if she's here, it's crystal clear / I'm where I'm meant to go

Entry tags:

now she's here, suddenly I know / if she's here, it's crystal clear / I'm where I'm meant to go

Who:

poppetry
What: The truth.
When: Starting just before sunset of the 21st.
Where: First at house 5, then That One Bridge.
Summary: This has been a long time in coming. Two shy, stupid, utterly oblivious Replicas finally get their shit together and talk. (Also Kukki and I write each other a series of small novels.)
Rating: PG. (This will probably be the most Disney thing to ever Disney in the history of Disney-fied things.)

Xion's first feeling after the experiment had been ... fear. Lingering, terrible fear that none of it was real, despite all the reasoning and arguments and gentle proddings to the contrary. Of course, she'd told Luke she didn't care, that none of it mattered, that she'd make it real...

And those words were true. But even so... even so... it would have been a blow to learn. All those memories... fake? Different? How could they be? It would have hurt so much...

But on waking early that morning, Xion had realized something, after the fear had faded and she'd had some time to sort through everything she remembered. All of it... was the same. Everything. The way she felt when Luke gave her her own little Christmas. The tightness in her chest when Sanji had asked her, very frankly, You really like him, don't you?

Her plan... to tell him her feelings on Valentine's Day. The letter she'd written... in case of the experiment!

She'd leaped out of bed like someone had electrified her, torn between elation and a driving sense of urgency. It was true! It was all true, all real!

And thus she'd come up with a plan. She had several people to speak with, after all -- Ven, poor Ven, Sokka and Fenimore... and Tsuzuki. Xion found herself endlessly, almost stupidly grateful he'd made that silly entry with the socks, giving her the idea to try and circumvent the experiment. Writing out her feelings for Luke in that letter... had made her blush like crazy, but it had felt so, so good to finally admit it, even if he wasn't going to see it just yet. And the idea had worked like a charm, too -- doing exactly what she hoped. Just sitting there in that box, waiting -- for the moment when the experiment would be over, and whatever had happened -- whatever had gone right or wrong -- she could tell Luke the truth, with proof that predated any Malnosso manipulation.

Honestly, she'd have to bake Tsuzuki cookies for this.

Thankfully he'd responded in a timely manner, too -- it'd still been morning when she'd been able to retrieve the letter and beat a hasty retreat back home, to think (and talk to her friends, too). But also ... to decide what to do. Though she knew the words by heart, she read and reread the letter she'd written, her blush slowly fading as the true significance of her words sank in. This was real... in her hands was tangible proof of her feelings. And that meant ... well. She had to talk to him, didn't she?

So it was that she ended up in front of house 5 a few hours later, fidgeting with nervousness, twisting and untwisting her fingers together. It was already well into the afternoon, almost evening, but it had taken all of those hours of reading and thinking and thinking some more to even work up the courage to leave the house again, much less actually walk over to his. After all... just like before, she didn't know for certain if Luke returned her feelings. Even if he'd said ... he'd said ...

Let's... Let's work together to make it real, okay?

B-But that could have been the experiment... right? Yet somehow... she couldn't get the feeling of hope out of her heart. Anxious hope, but hope nonetheless. This just had to be real... They'd practically sworn to each other. Promised, no matter what happened, to make what they had real, to make it work. She had to believe this would happen. After all... as it had turned out, she'd really meant it when she said she didn't want to just be his friend anymore. If he didn't want... if he didn't feel-- she'd take anything he'd give her, of course. Anything! But if he really didn't love her back, it'd ...

Well. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it, if she absolutely must, as much as it would hurt.

There was no turning back now. Moving up to the door, Xion took a deep, steadying breath and raised her hand to knock.

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Oh.

Well.

This was a little distressing, wasn't it... the fact that he wasn't responding. She felt more than saw Luke freeze up, what with her eyes closed, and though she lingered for a moment... she couldn't help but blink and pull away when she felt no real response. Had she startled him that badly? ... maybe ... he didn't like it?

Abruptly shamefaced and deeply embarrassed, Xion took a step back, lifting her free hand to rub the back of her neck, looking anywhere but at him. In her other arm she shifted his journal and the letter, a nervous gesture.

"S-Sorry. I just... I don't know what I was..."

It was all Luke could do to keep himself standing and not fall right on his bottom. Xion had just... And he...

He liked it. Luke stared ahead, barely even hearing Xion as he raised a hand towards his lips, though he didn't touch them... He glanced down at his hand, and he wondered... What had he been so afraid of? That was...

With that same hand, he reached forward to hold Xion's cheek, just as she did to him, and he followed it a second later. Though he hesitated at first, if only because he wasn't sure if he was doing this right, he still completed the journey and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle, if just slightly awkward, kiss.

Yeah. He really should listen when his mind nudges him to do things next time.

I love you.

It was the only coherent thought in Xion's mind after he caught back up to her, captured her face in the same way and ... and kissed her. It was a little like stars. Something -- something shining and bright, fizzing beneath her skin and making her feel.... making her feel like....

Like not only was everything okay -- but everything was wonderful. Beautiful. Perfect.

Xion leaned right up into that kiss, practically melted into it, and simply sighed, quietly.

I guess we've got a lot to look forward to!

As Xion finally broke the kiss, eyes fluttering open as a tiny, secret smile crossed her face, she couldn't help but think about those words ... and how prophetic they were already turning out to be. They were going to have a future together... hopefully a long, happy one. (With lots of kisses just like that.)

Luke pulled back about the same time Xion did, and his own eyes remained shut for a second before they opened to look down at her in a way that suggested he was thinking the very same thing. They were really... together, weren't they? And they'd be like this for... however long it'd last. Luke certainly hoped it'd be a long time...

Then he remembered how he reacted when she first kissed him. How she reacted... Luke was feeling a little too giddy to feel too bad about it, but he still chuckled quietly, helplessly, and ducked his head to break the eye contact.

"... Sorry about that. I never..."

After those words, however, he lifted his head again, a serious expression on his face as he reached out to take her hands. He wanted to let Xion understand... so that maybe that wouldn't happen again. "Xion, I... I might make a lot of mistakes. I've never done this before..."

It finally occurred to Xion to slip the letter into her pocket -- she didn't want it getting carried away by the ever-present breeze over the water. With it went the journal; it'd be nice to actually have her hands free, to--

Well. He sort of took care of that, by reaching out... even if the look on his face was a little worrisome. She curled her hands in his grip, holding his hands in turn, eyes searching his face. But then he said those words ... and her own eyebrows drew up in a look of some concern.

"Luke... it's okay." I have. But she didn't want to think about that right now. "I might too. But ... we're in this together, right? We'll figure something out."

... that didn't sound right. Xion pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes in thought for a moment. Mistakes... mistakes meant hurt. Pain. Maybe even fear, worry.... but she loved Luke. Even if they got things wrong...

It was only belatedly she realized she'd said those two things aloud. I love you. Even if we get things wrong... Surprised by her own admission, Xion blinked and bit her lip, then continued. "... that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, right?" She tried to swallow the note of uncertainty. "But ... we'll make them together, and get through them together. Okay?"

And with those words, Luke squeezed her hands and smiled. Xion might have looked concerned, but... everything would be okay. She was right - they were in this together. They might make a few mistakes, like Luke freezing and acting like a fish out of water when she kissed him... But they'd work through it. Luke was sure of it.

"Okay."

Not every relationship was happy all the time. Luke knew that just from watching Guy and Asch, knowing that they were happy together, but also seeing Asch storm off for time alone (he was even in his head for one of those times), or the two of them being tense around each other... For that matter, how did last week go for them? Luke would have to ask later. Right now, he pushed that thought aside to focus on Xion.

"We'll work together. Then nothing will stop us, right?"

Oh god. After a line like that, Xion couldn't help but let a giggle sneak out.

"Remember what we were saying last week, about corny lines? ... that was pretty corny."

There was a mischievous, teasing look in her eye as she said it -- and slipped her arms around his neck, pressing close to him with a content, happy sigh. "But you're right, corny or not. I'm ... I'm really excited. About the future." The one we're gonna share. But she didn't say that -- just grinned against him. Her wings, though -- they fluttered and flapped, stretching and moving and doing all the dancing for joy that she herself was not.

"... What? That wasn't-"

And then she hugged him. See now, that wasn't fair, cutting off his defending himself like that. But he still mock scowled, then sighed and rested a hand on top of her head while he looked up at the sky. And at her words, he couldn't help but let the scowl fade in favor of a smile. He was excited, too... Especially since this was his first time ever doing something like this. He knew that Xion had been in a relationship before, but... he would do his best to let her be happy and not let it end like theirs did.

"... Yeah. Heh, and to think we were so scared before all this!" Luke remarked with a light chuckle; oh yes, he had been terrified. And if he was that scared, he's pretty sure Xion felt that way, too. But now...

Now, Luke lightly ruffled her hair as he looked down and offered, "Hey, why don't we go to Seventh Heaven? I don't know if there's anyone there this late at night, but..."

Well, Luke kind of preferred it that way. No customers looking at them, no Sanji to make him nervous and self-aware... Maybe he could even show her what he's learned with the piano.

"I was terrified!" But thinking about it made her laugh now, at least. "I was convinced you didn't like me that way... I was so scared of ruining our friendship. Especially after the experiment... but I guess I never had to worry."

Oh what, why so hair ruffling. Xion let out a tiny, undignified squawk, bringing one of her hands back to flatten her hair. In return she stuck her tongue out at him, patting her hair back down at the same time. By the time she got it mostly tamed, he'd made his suggestion, and she had a moment to consider it in thought as she slipped her arm back around his neck.

"It's not that late..." Once more, Xion glanced out to the west. The sun had finally set, and though the world was falling into twilight.... she thought the restaurant would probably still be open. "... but that sounds like a good idea. It'd make a nice, um... first date." The blush was pretty obvious in her voice, if not on her face -- since she was burying that in his chest. At least for a moment, until she managed to look up and smile shyly.

"... but before we go ... can I ask you something?"

She had to. She just had to. It had been on her mind the entire last week... ever since she'd heard his voice. Ever since she'd put her whole heart into singing for him...

"... could you sing for me?"

So there probably were people there. Well... He could handle it. Luke isn't a recluse like Asch and all. So what if people look at them? He didn't care. Nope. ... And maybe being with Xion, in this way, will make all the rest of the things he's worrying about not matter as much. They'd be okay. And... yeah, it would be a nice place for a first... d-date.

Gaaah he had to blush. Well. At least she had her face in his chest so that she couldn't see his own, though he lifted his head just in case.

But then she looked up at him and...

...

"... Sing?" Right there? Right now? With Xion staring at him so expectantly and - and where everyone could hear?

"Please?" Her puppy dog eyes in that moment were ones of great power. "That night... when you heard me sing for the last time. And I went outside to sing for you. I was... um..." Here she blushed, biting her lip, but she did want to tell him the truth. "Since you'd asked me, I ... I put everything I felt about you in that song. Even though I wasn't singing any words, it was... it was sorta like I was saying..." Here, she blushed harder, and shifted from foot to foot. Singing her love for him, rather than saying it... it had felt so bittersweet. Somehow, the thought of them singing their feelings for each other... honestly, without the true meaning being hidden or coded... made her blush harder than the thought of kissing had. There was something just awfully romantic about it.

"I-- I'd just... love to hear your voice, that's all."

"But Xiooon..."

There was probably a whine in that tone of his. His hand fell away from her hair so that he could hang his arms and look just as exasperated as possible, though with how over the top it was... well, considering how emotional Luke is, it's hard to tell whether he's serious or not.

"I don't like singing." And there lay the entire reason behind why he was always so quiet and reluctant while he'd sing. Luke always enjoyed hearing songs and music, but definitely not singing it. He wasn't sure why, it was just... He felt like all eyes would be on him and judging him, and it didn't help that he'd be absolutely embarrassed by the end of it by anyone who listened to him...

But still... The way she was looking at him, and Luke felt those puppy dog eyes staring at him even while he looked up at the sky. It was really hard to say no to those eyes, especially when it was something like singing, even if he didn't like doing it.

So, while he stared at the sky, Luke pursed his lips, then started to hum. It was nothing really comprehensible at first, just a few notes to warm up a bit. And to think of a song. Just the right one for her to hear...

"You don't?" The surprise in her voice was quite genuine, reflected in the way she blinked at him. "No way! I thought you were just embarrassed this whole time... But your voice is so..."

Xion didn't have time to say anything further. Because then he started to sing, and it just arrested the breath in her chest. His voice was gorgeous, there was no getting around that. And he didn't like to sing?! Somehow, one way or another, Xion would have to cure him of that.

But the very least she could do was complete her thought. Maybe it'd change his mind...

"... it's beautiful. How could you not like it...?"

Luke cut off his humming and glanced at her while he turned away a little, just so that he could face the railing instead of the bridge, and scowl just slightly, as if he was merely embarrassed.

"B-Because of stuff like that..." He muttered. And it was the truth: while some praise was practically eaten up by Luke in the past, compliments that were so... deep and genuine would just embarrass him and make him not want it anymore. After so long, it'd sound... fake. And they weren't, he knew it, but he'd just get tired of hearing it. Couldn't he do a mediocre job at it just once? Apparently not.

He leaned against the railing and continued on; "And... I guess I just don't like the way it feels. I want to listen to it, not listen to myself. It hurts my throat, too... It's just annoying when I do it.

"But I guess if you like it..."

That didn't mean he'd suddenly change his mind about singing. It's a viewpoint he held on to for years, one that even crossed over from the way Asch was wired. Neither of them particularly liked singing despite being good at it.

But if she liked it... He'd do it, since she asked. He ducked his head and hummed a few bars, still trying to pick out a song. There were a lot to choose from, yet some weren't even suited for singing, and some just... weren't enough. Not for her. Not for this moment.

Sure he could, sometimes. If he was sick, or tired. Or even if he just wasn't feeling it. But there is such a thing as having a natural gift... a talent. And when you have real talent all your own, well... certainly everyone has off days, but an off day is not the same as being mediocre. Luke would never sound truly mediocre, and Xion knew that instinctively. It was why she insisted, really.

But as she listened to him, watched him turn away, she sighed and moved to stand beside him at the railing, reaching a hand up to card her fingers through his hair from the back. The last thing she wanted was to make him do something he genuinely didn't like. Whatever the reason... it didn't matter. She wouldn't force him. Knowing he was singing when he didn't even want to... when it actually hurt his throat? It wouldn't sound as sweet, somehow.

For a moment more in silence she moved her fingers through his hair, listening to him hum, before she shook her head. "Luke... don't. It's okay. Of course I like it, but... I like it more when you're happy. If you don't want to sing... you don't have to."

She gave his hair an affectionate ruffle before leaning both arms on the railing, leaning forward so she could glance up at his face and smile crookedly. "I'll sing for you. After all... I do like it."

A memory flashed in Luke's mind once she started to run her fingers through his hair, a sign of affection that he was sure he'd never grow tired of. He was twelve, almost a teenager... rather, almost three when he peeked into the meeting room and saw his mother and father, fingers entwined and dancing slowly together. He'd watched for a moment before he grew bored and moved away - good thing, too, as a couple of the maids had been looking for him and would've found him easily if he stayed.

Come to think of it, it was one of the few times he'd seen his mother and father truly together like that. Other times, they'd seem so... distant. Supporting each other, but at an arm's length. He glanced at Xion, who was saying something, and he couldn't help but wonder if they'd be like that in the future...

He desperately hoped they wouldn't. No, not just hoped; he wouldn't let that happen.

And really... he could handle singing, if it was just for her, if he didn't have to do it too much. Maybe, anyway... He certainly could now, as he looked away from her crooked smile and her offer and answered it with that very same song from his memory, the one that his father and mother shared a rare, affectionate moment to. One that he hoped would stay with him and Xion for... for however long they decided to be together.

Edited 2011-02-28 09:10 (UTC)

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now she's here, suddenly I know / if she's here, it's crystal clear / I'm where I'm meant to go

.................................... /judges quietly...

B|

ps you should tag me back on the draft post. B|

Happy? 8|

mmhmm. :3

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