Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die:

[all7seas]

Who: noprevaricating, hippocraticly, lists_to_port
What: Two Eighteenth-century Sailors and the Tractor That Didn't Love Them. And McCoy, covering his eyes.
When: Day 1 of the Draft; after this.
Where: A farm near the battlefield, and its surrounds.
Summary: Jack and Archie have decided to tend to matters of war, in spite of difficulties caused by shifting irregularities.
Rating: Jim Varney wearing John Goodman's trousers and Jed Clampett's hat.



The first thing Jack Sparrow noticed after being transported to the battlefield with the rest was what amounted to excruciating pain in his right arm.

His sword arm.

It dangled from his shoulder, badly broken and useless. And pink.

On his knees in a pile of dusty straw, Jack inspected the damage, and found it very bad indeed; he found he could not feel the fingers on his right hand at all. Clutching the useless limb to his chest, he looked about. "KENNEDY! BONES!" Where were they in this chaos?

...

And why was he COMPLETELY PINK?

Comments

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"Do you two ever know how to ride a horse?"

[simplestgift]

In response, Kennedy mounted with...well, a degree of ease, anyway. "It's been a while, but it's not something one forgets. Now, for galloping away heroically." He gave another glance at the sky, where soldiers were beginning to amass again, turned the horse around, and began to ride away.

[all7seas]

"RIDE ON, NORRY ME LAD! I SPUR YOU FORTH WITH MY BRAVE WORDS AND THE PROMISE OF A CARROT AT DAY'S END." And off galloped Jack Sparrow...in a completely different direction.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

McCoy sighed and gave the horse a sidelong glance. "You have my word you're not going to die on my watch." He patted the creature warmly on the neck as he mounted and grabbed the reins.

[simplestgift]

"Damn him to hell," Archie muttered under his breath before turning his horse around and following Jack. His brain had already named the beast "Edrington," though as a result, he would have to call it "My Lord."

[all7seas]

"Norry, we seem to have come to a crossroads on the map of our shared desires, lad. I want you to go in a northernish direction, boyo, and yet you insist on running in near directly the opposite direction." The horse did not listen. It was wild and free and happy and piratical and bounding along without a care in the world.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

If only McCoy was that carefree, although it was nice to be on a horse again after so long. It would have been nicer under different circumstances, but what could you do?

[simplestgift]

"More of them are coming from the nor'west," Archie called out.

[all7seas]

Sparrow leaned closer to Norry's ear, patting him on the neck as the horse continued his headlong gallop. "Sugar cubes," the pink pirate whispered. "Sugar cubes galore. And beautiful horsey wenches. Whaddaya say, lad?" Norry skidded to a halt, snorting. With an arched neck he considered this offer, then with a nicker of agreement allowed the pirate to turn him back toward Archie and Bones. Sparrow was just in time to catch Kennedy's cry and looked up at the sky with a frown. "Let 'em bring the fight to us, lads. We need to find more defensible ground than this!"

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

McCoy raised an eyebrow and stared up at the sky. This was not boding well in his book.

[simplestgift]

"Aye-aye, sir, but against winged creatures, I doubt there's a scrap of defensible ground in the w--" Archie tipped off the back of the horse and hit the ground hard on his side. There he lay, motionless, as My Lord Edrington continued for a dozen yards or so before slowing and stopping to eat grass.

[all7seas]

"IMPECCABLE timing as always, Kennedy!" Jack pulled Norry to a sliding stop just beyond the young lieutenant and vaulted off the horse's back. He knelt by Kennedy's side, making sure to favor his still-wonky arm as he shook him by the shoulder. "Listen here, Kennedy; if you don't wake up now, you know what I'll do? I'll toss you right into the brig, son. Right in. No lovely sun. No lovely sky. No lovely Dawn. Just you? In the brig. Savvy?"

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

The doctor, still in saddle, pressed a hand to his forehead as he felt a headache coming along.

[simplestgift]

Mutter, mumble, "..'s no brig..."

[all7seas]

Jack relaxed slightly; his gamble had paid off. No seaman wants to think of being tossed in the brig. He patted Kennedy on the shoulder, lightly. "Right. No brig. Kennedy, listen: it's me an' my bollocksed arm, you and your...strange...sleeping...thing, and Bones. Bones with his normal self. We're all buggered with those soldiers sailin' in, savvy? Unless you stay awake." He tugged at the other man's clothing, trying to get him to sit up.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"Must be a shift incompatibility, unless there're underline health issues he forget to tell us about."

[simplestgift]

"No! Nothing." Archie sat up, pulling Jack's hands off his uniform. This couldn't be anything like his seizures. "I'll try, dammit, but I don't have any warning when it's about to happen."

[all7seas]

"Suppose we could tie him to the horse, like..." There was really no time to deliberate this. The three of them were standing in the middle of a meadow, about a furlong's gallop from the barnyard where Beastie still sat smoldering. The destroyed tractor was as good as a calling card and an alarm bell all rolled into one. Meanwhile, the company of enemy soldiers had almost certainly noticed the angry doctor standing beside a pink man and a lovely periwinkle-color man in the field. Sparrow hit upon the only idea he could in such dire circumstances. "There's only one thing to do, lads. We lure them back into Beastie's barn--trap 'em. And we burn it."