lucetilogs | jealousy, turning saints into the sea

jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Who:

black_onslaught
What: It's Ragna's birthday!?
When: March 3rd; afternoon.
Where: The fountain, I guess.
Summary: Making up!? Ragna and Noel grow up a little!
Rating: G or PG

[It's been about a day or so now after the draft, and Noel's been taking her time to settle back into her normal schedule... or rather, what she's trying to grow accustomed to since staying at House 48. How long has it been now? A week? She may be overstaying her welcome, she thinks, so it may be time to leave soon. But where does Noel go?

... Probably back to what she was doing right before Tsubaki offered her a place to stay. Well. That's... mostly fine. Maybe Noel can just settle in one place. Anyhow, she's out and about walking Sol. The weather's progressively getting warmer, thankfully, so it seemed like a good idea for Noel to take him out. It's not like she's been able to spend time with him since the draft.

But she'll probably return to the house in a while. For now, she'll let Sol lead the way. ~~who's walking who?~~

...]

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[He will, mostly. As Noel gets back on her feet, all Sol will do is walk closer to Ragna and start nuzzling his head against his legs. Like a cat. What? At least he's not slobbering over his shoes.

They may just have to.] We should probably start walking.

[Slobbering, nuzzling, or whatever -- it's all better than tackling him to the ground like before. It's been awhile since they've seen each other, anyway. Sol's gonna be like that, and Ragna sure as hell won't try to get rid of him over it. In fact, it's welcome.

Looking over to Noel, Ragna just nods a little, readying himself to start walking in whatever direction. He doesn't exactly know which direction she originally wanted to take Sol, anyway.] Lead the way.

[To be honest, she was getting ready to head back to Tsubaki's house before she ran into Ragna. Obviously, things just came up, and... well, there has to be a way to feed Sol's excitement. ~~it's like dealing with a hyperactive child~~

But moving on, Noel starts to head to the west, motioning for Ragna to follow as she silently walks the dog down the dirt path.

...it won't be her who starts this conversation.]

[After the motion, Ragna just follows her along whatever path she was deciding on taking. He knows that she won't start the conversation, especially when he was the one who had to bring up the proposition that the two had to talk. He started the notion, so he had to start the actual act of it all. Plus, he damn well better do it considering how he acted last time.

With a sigh, he considers his options. Not much other than just diving straight into it.] About that night... [Crap. Where does he go from here? Waht does he bring up?]

Yes? [She's listening, Ragna. Go on.]

About what I said-- [How the hell can he even word this? He said so many things back then, and all of them were just out of rage, and no matter what he said, he really did mean most of it. At the same time, he just shouldn't have said them and... it's all so confusing, hard, and just difficult to deal with.

And he's trying to actually think before he speaks, which is just something he doesn't do often.] Look, I'm sorry about what I said, and what I read.

[She's quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out what to say to him.

Yes. She remembers him apologizing before, on the journals, but things were only made worse by her attitude. His attitude. And maybe today is different!

But that still doesn't change the other worries she's had.] ...I know. I know you're sorry, but... what you read-- I-I don't know what I was even thinking when I wrote any of that, but now that you saw it, it's...

[...more than awkward is one thing she can say.]

[This is the part of the conversation that Ragna sort of dreaded, and knew that he had to deal with ever since he blurted that out like it wasn't anything important. It's just regret after regret with Noel, isn't it?]

... Yeah, I know what you're getting at. [He stops for a moment, trying to find the right words.] I shouldn't have read that, but I guess I can't really change what I saw.

[This is suddenly getting more and more painful to say. Is it because Ragna isn't even arguing about it this time?] I-If I continued living in the same place as you, things just... wouldn't be the same way they used to be.

[As they say this, Sol begins the lead the two across a bridge. Before Noel can say anything else, she abruptly goes silent before making a surprised noise as Sol leads her to the edge to... sniff the water.]

[Ragna realized that he fucked up, yeah. The only reason he would even argue these things at this point would be because he's stubborn and refuses to back down. But the way things have been handled lately, that isn't an option for him.

For once.] I'm not gonna try and lie to you, and say something about how we could forget about it and it'll all be fine. [It's impossible to say that. He just watches Sol tug her around for a moment.]

But what are you gonna do? Try and ignore me?

[The dog calms down, making the wise decision of drinking from the stream. Noel stands awkwardly in her place, taking in every word Ragna says, as her eyes remain fixated on the railing.

What a reminder.]

No! [She's quick to jump in at that sort of prospect.] I-I don't want to ignore you, but... but if I stayed with you any longer, I would just continue being a burden about everything, especially this.

[Even if she just denied everything she felt, it still happened.]

You're not being a damn burden. [She never was, not when Hazama was around, not when she turned into Kusanagi, and not when he learned about her little secret. He managed along fine without objections.] So, don't call yourself one when you're not being one.

[...

She looks at him, without a word.

He's not just saying that, is he?]

[Does this face say that he's lying? He's completely serious.

And he's waiting for an answer from her.]

...what do you want me to do, then?

[Just outright saying what he wants her to do doesn't feel right. It's not even really his choice, so trying to suggest what she should do just feels wrong, as much as he usually does it. He just doesn't have the right to do it today.

He shifts for a moment uncomfortably.] It's been pretty empty around the apartment without you two. [Yes, he's including Sol. It makes it easier to say.]

[Somehow, she had a feeling that something like this was going to be said. As much as her feeling are getting the better of her, she's still worried, but...

Maybe she can just... ignore everything she's been feeling up to this point.]

Are you sure you want me to stay? [That's right. It would be for the best to deny them--for the sake of both of them.]

[Ragna nods for a moment, not saying anything else. But then has a thought, and figures he should actually say something. Maybe just a concern.]

Only if you're comfortable with it, alright?

[...] I...

[He really was being sincere about this. She has to wonder why.] Ragna... does it really not bother you?

Not really. [He's bullshitting. It does bother him -- and it does bother him a lot. But having Noel running around in the streets or whatever bothers him more, believe it or not.]

[She has a weird feeling about that.]

...you know, maybe I really wasn't thinking when I wrote that. [Because, as you know, there's so many things wrong with it in the first place.] I-I couldn't have been...

[...she couldn't like Ragna.]

[DON'T MESS WITH HIS MIND, NOEL. STOP IT.]

Don't worry about it. You don't need to try and explain it. [He kind of doesn't want to hear it.]

[She kind of doesn't know what to freaking do, thanks. B|]

I'm sorry. I... [...don't know what to do, is what she wants to say. Her attempts at trying to pretend she was being stupid as hell for writing it aren't helping--she knows how she's feeling about this, but acknowledging that will obviously only make things worse.

She's ready to just drop this, but Sol approaches Ragna and wags his tail, making her stop in her words.]

It's fine, don't apologize about it. [He falls silent for a moment. This is just really tough to tackle. It bothers him, and he doesn't know what to think about it, and apparently he even got jealous over it -- though he will never admit that. Ever.

What could he even say about it? It's her feelings, and you don't just drop them because it'll get awkward. It's something that can't be controlled. He knows that from experience. And this is still her choice, since it's her feelings, and he kind of broke that trust they had just to get a peek at them.

He sighs a little, looking down to Sol. Ragna kneels down to get Sol a scratch behind his ears. Such a damn happy dog...] Whatever you want to do, go with it. Just know that my door's always open.

[That dog loves you, Ragna.

She watches the two for a few moments, thinking. He does want her to stay; otherwise, he'd never be doing this right now... right?

And... as selfish as it feels, she has liked staying with him. It's silly, but something about it has become something of a normal thing for her. Enjoyable, even.

She can just... forget everything for him. ~~Because that's totally an easy thing to do.~~

So what does she do?] ...I-I'll come back.

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