♙ I'm not the man they think I am at home

[allbloodyhail]

Who: Spike & E V E R Y O N E
What: THE BEST ROOMWARMING PARTY EVER!!!!1
When: backdated to February 4th
Where: C1 Floor 2 Room 9 (Spike's room obvs.)
Summary: No one wants to miss the SOCIAL EVENT OF THE SEASON. Also an Angel piñata & Jack Sparrow is the guest of honor. GO CRAZY!

[Spike paced, waiting for the first arrivals. It was barely sundown as he pulled the curtains away from the windows and set various foodstuffs on the counter for general consumption, though the onions are mysteriously disappearing before the party begins. Magic.

The Ramones are playing softly in the background on a stolen boombox, the wine Buffy brought set up next to the whiskey he himself nicked. One would think it'd be impossible to have an anxiety attack without a beating heart...

For once, Spike has ditched his typical black on black for charcoal slacks and a light blue sweater, though the ever-present motorcycle boots haven't gone anywhere. He's ready to make a complete fool of himself, drink in hand as he answers the door.]

Comments

[all7seas]

"Shampoo? And that conditioner that smells like orchids."

[fleurdesel]

"Orchids. You would walk around smelling of orchids." No sarcasm, just...puzzlement. "I suppose if you spend most of your time on the ocean you would want to smell of something that you do not have with you."

[all7seas]

"It's not what I want. It's what--

Right. A bit over a year ago two women held me down and shampooed my head. And they used that flowery creamy stuff on it, and afterward AYE it smelled like orchids but it was soft."

And REALLY wavy. Curly, almost -- the parts that weren't dreaded.

[fleurdesel]

"Conditioner for damaged hair, most likely. I do not understand why most bathing products marketed for women must smell of flowers, fruit, or chocolate." Adele, herself, used items that smelled like nothing. Fragrances were disruptive if one needed to tell if a wound was subtly rancid.

[all7seas]

"Because flowers, fruit, and chocolate smell delicious! And it's lovely when women smell all nice and delicious!"

Says the former king of a cannibal tribe.

[fleurdesel]

"...As you are the one in a romantic relationship, and I am not, I suppose I shall have to take your word for it Jack."

[all7seas]

"I was speaking in a general sense, actually." As in, this is a true thing about women and one of the reasons I love them.

[fleurdesel]

"I still do not understand the appeal. If you want to smell flowers, smell flowers. If you want fruit, smell fruit."

[all7seas]

"Then what should a woman smell like, if you please?"

[fleurdesel]

"Where she lives, where she works. Flowers for a florist, caused by constant exposure, not perfume. Salt and sand for a woman on the coast. It should tell you what she does, where she's been. Not what she would like you to think."

[all7seas]

That would mean slayers would smell like........

And surgeons? And goatherds?!?!

"Mmmmm. Right. Truth be told, I like it when a woman smells womanly. The sweat of her hard, womanly labors and all that. But flowers and fruit and chocolate are all very nice too."

[fleurdesel]

Hard womanly labors Jack? Adele...thinks that may be an innuendo of sorts. And decides to ignore it for the time being. "Then should I ever wish to...what is the phrase? Return to the dating game? However it is said. I shall take pains to smell like flowers. Or...something."

[all7seas]

Yeahhhh maybe he didn't think that one all the way through. He's drinking. It's a party.

"When's that going to be, then?"

[fleurdesel]

"I'm an embittered divorcee Jack. It will not be any time soon. All that aside, there are not many men within my age range in the village." She busies herself with a sip of wine, not at all considering the fact she has no idea how one went about dating. It's been years since she tried.

[all7seas]

"Possibly I am not one to consult in this realm of difficulties, darling, being a stick-at-none pirate and all. Aaaaaaand liking the ladies, as I do, I don't often think of...eligible men."

Though there is one rather tall, dour admiral who needs a bit of fun.

[fleurdesel]

"I would not come to you for relationship advice Jack. That is asking for trouble on a level that I do not care to consider." That last bit though, that hesitation. Something might be on his mind, and Adele argued with herself a moment before sighing and giving in to her curiosity.

"...Why do I have the feeling you've someone in mind despite your protests?"

[all7seas]

"I've....aye. A man. I know him. Probably...probably best not to touch that one, actually."

[fleurdesel]

"For this I shall take you at your word Jack." Adele shakes her head and sips her wine. "I am in no need of a matchmaker, or even suggestions."

[all7seas]

"And I'm definitely not needing to get in the middle of anything like that," he mumbled into his drink. Norrington had been in a bad state for a while now. Lifting him out of it was going to be quite a job.

Maybe he should have invited him to this party.

[fleurdesel]

"It's difficult enough to keep a handle on one's own love-life, let alone meddle in the affairs of others." Then again, that just might be the divorce talking. She'd had very little control over what had happened in her relationship towards the end. But here? She could do without, thank you.

[all7seas]

"Difficult to do it here, particularly."

[fleurdesel]

"Which is why I'm content to go without."

[all7seas]

"Cheers, then, for making a very sound decision, mistress!"

[fleurdesel]

"Is there a particular reason why you are adverse to simply using someone's name and instead use all..." Adele waves her hand vaguely, as if to indicate in the air the words Jack uses instead of something as simple as a name. "...that."

[all7seas]

"Is there some reason you speak French on occasion?"