lucetilogs | (no subject)

[She shuts the door quietly behind her and keeps her voice low.]

Let's go through the window and talk outside.

[He replies in an equally low voice.]

Yeah, sure. [So many things to talk about. Most of them he's afraid to. He starts for the window.]

[She grabs a sweatshirt (for Aang) in case the night is cool and follows after him. Barefoot, actually, so they probably won't go far.]

[Aang doesn't pay much mind to the barefootness. There is still a bit of a chill. He walks several yards and turns to make sure Katara is following.]

[She's following, and she moves quickly to catch up.

But she doesn't know quite how to break this silence, so she'll let him lead for a bit.]

[Aang keeps walking on and stops when the river is sight.]

Is this good?

[Dude, she would have been fine by her garden. The fact that you walked out all this way, and in silence, tells her that she needed to be more instead of less concerned.]

Sure.

[She steps up and looks - up? no, not quite yet - to him.]

I couldn't sleep and I didn't think you were either. I'm sorry if I woke you.

[He looks towards in her direction. He wasn't really sure why he had chosen the river. But he felt some concern that she was having trouble sleeping too.]

It's fine. I hadn't fallen asleep yet.

Edited 2012-07-13 19:01 (UTC)

Yeah.

[She sees that.]

So... how are you?

[He pauses and tries to think of a place to start. He just knows he has to be honest.]

I... I've been thinking about everything a lot, Katara. Everything that you and everyone else has told me. It's a lot, and... some of it scares me.

[...yeah, I'm scared too.

She sits down and motions for him to join her.

Tell me about it.]

[He quietly seats himself down. He knows he probably looks like he's a kid again, but he knows he has to work through this. And Katara's the best person to help.]

At first, everything looked... so happy and good. A city that helped the world to be in balance in a new way. Zuko's still alive and still himself. And... and o-our family. There will be Airbenders again. [Pause] But I can't ignore the bad parts anymore, when with every other arrival it becomes harder.

[...

Quietly, she lays a hand on his shoulder.

That's right, let it out. I'm listening.]

[He tries to look into her eyes.]

I... I never thought that there would be any other b-bloodbenders. Or that I would take another person's bending. And that it would... inspire someone else to try taking the bending of everyone, from my family and Toph's daughter! Korra's going to help them, but I can't. I won't be there in the living world for them or you or anyone!

[Yes. There's that. And the grief is so deep and the pain is so sharp she can taste it in the back of her throat. She shifts her arm to move along his shoulders now in a half-embrace.

She doesn't even know where to start.]

You help Korra help us. You do what you can to stop the person who's bloodbending and terrorizing the city - and you show him mercy. The fact that he was sick and twisted enough to take that and impart it to his children was not your fault, Aang.

[There's so much more to say. But it's twisted up inside her throat somewhere.]

Edited 2012-07-14 05:29 (UTC)

[Her hold helps to calm him, but his breathing is still heavy.]

I... I guess you're right. Like with Ozai, I really must have thought he'd be powerless without his bending. [Pause as he goes onto the other portion] Korra's really a great person. And I'm so grateful to her for saving our family and the city. But I still wish I could be there. Actually there. That I wouldn't leave you behind, and that I'd be able to see them. [His eyes dart in the direction of the house at the latter part of the statement.]

[She closes her eyes in pain.

"Our family."

"I wish I could be there."

"That I wouldn't leave you behind."]

I know, Aang. I know.

[Her listening is helpful. It makes him dig deeper.]

And it makes me hate this place and myself. Because now I... I want to stay here. I don't want to forget Ikki and Jinora, because this is all the time I'll have with them. And I know how horrible it is for them to be here. But I still can't bear the thought of them being gone, Katara!

Oh, Aang...

[She moved to pull them a little closer together, her heart aching for him.]

[And he grasped her shoulders for support, as he looked down at the ground.]

When I'm around either of them, it's just... so easy to forget everything this place has done to us. And it's been so long since I've been around any kind of actual Airbender. But... but I know now what it'll be like back home. I have fifty-two years left, and the only other Airbender I'll know in my life is Tenzin... who - who I know will alone be more than I could have hoped for. I know I'll love him, but I already love them too.

Aang, that's not wrong. It's not wrong to be upset about a sudden limit on - on your life. And it's not wrong to love them now.

[She bites her lip and looks down for a moment.]

This place is terrible for children. Part of me will always wish that they never came here because of that.

[And then she looks back up at him.] But I am so glad for you that you get to meet them. And I don't believe that the love you feel for them now is useless. Love is never useless. Even if we don't remember it when we get home, it's still important that you love them, right here, right now.

Thanks, Katara. I... I'm glad you understand. I'll treasure all the time I have with Ikki and Jinora, a-and... anyone else who might end up here. I'm glad that we've been able to take care of them so far. And I appreciate everything you've done to make this comfortable for them.

[He glances up at her briefly before returning to the ground. He knows there's something else related to his lifespan that he has to get out.]

But... I feel kind of conflicted, too, when I think about how long I'll live. Did you know that Avatar Kyoshi lived to be under 200? Whenever I thought about that.... I was always afraid of outliving all of you and being alone again. Now I know this won't be the case, but I'm still worried. Because you'll be the one who's left. And I'll.... I'll be stuck in the Spirit World forever.

[Being alone.

Being left.

Abandoned.

When it came down to it, this really was Katara's worst fear.]

We don't have to think about that right now. [Her voice is firm.] And I won't have you feeling responsible for something that you can't control.

[She pulls back enough to look him in the eyes.]

When I think about that - Aang, it's hard enough to imagine getting married - but when we get home, we're going to have the rest of our lives together.

[And no matter how she feels or doesn't feel about him romantically, that would be something she'd want. To be around him, to be with him.]

It's not long enough. It's no where near long enough. And I hate the thought of either of us being separated from the other. But that's not something you need to be guilty about.

[He looks into Katara's eyes for several seconds before making a slow, decisive nod.]

You're right. There still is a lot to look forward to. And I know that... even if we can't see it coming back home, we'll make every moment worth it. [She's been there almost every day of his life since he woke up from the iceberg. And it looks like that'll continue, as long as he lives. He still doesn't like to think about afterwards, being stuck in the Spirit World with just the other spirits.

I wish I could come back for you, when you're ready.]

It... it does feel a little better to talk about all of this.

[She rubs her hand across his back and above his wings briefly before she starts to pull away.]

Good. I know it's hard, but... it's hard for everyone right now. So at least you're not alone in that. We're all here for each other.