Event Log - Topsy Turvy

[lucetimods]

Who: You.
What: This.
When: Now.
Where: Here.
Summary: Weren't you paying attention?
Rating: Weird.

The Event is described here. So here's what you gotta do. Tag this post. Create yourself some threads with all your shenanigans and go to town on it. Also remember to tag your [canon] character name to the log!

Comments

[dissonates]

[You know what the problem with being blind during an experiment is? Walking through doorways that randomly teleport you can get you hopelessly freaking lost. As a result, Asch has spent the majority of the day just wandering around blindly, cursing himself and the world, and just trying to get himself home. This perpetually bitchy state is what he finds himself in when Rapunzel and her musical entourage wanders by, and even he has to stop and stare.

Stare at nothing, mind you, since he can't see it, but that somehow just makes it worse. What. The. Hell.]

[gleamed]

[Oh, good. You are exactly the person she was looking to target, Asch! Because this is a musical number you have to be a part of.

So Rapunzel tromps right up to him, poised to sing, drum-playing rabbits following behind her as she jabs him right in the shoulder.]

Let's get down to business!
To defeat--[KARATE CHOP MOTION that he can't actually feel, but maybe feel the breeze?]--the Mal-noses!
Did they send me daughters,
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,
But you can bet before we're through,
Mister, I'll make a man
OUT OF YOU!

[dissonates]

[Wh- wh- why is she-

-what is that below them-

-oh Lorelei they're everywhere-

He opens his mouth to tell her to kindly stop singing right in his face (except not really kindly at all), but the moment he opens his mouth, all he gets is-]

Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within!

[After which the lyrics are muffled, as he slaps a hand over his mouth and stares wide-eyed in her direction. That was singing. Why the hell is he singing now!?]

[gleamed]

[She almost stops the song, surprised to hear Asch singing--and singing well. Was that a little vibrato she heard?

And then she grabs his hand to lead him along. Because naturally, to make a man out of him she's got to get him into action.]

Once you find your center, you are sure to win!

[And she may try to push him down. FIND YOUR CENTER ASCH, QUICK.]

[dissonates]

[WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN, YOU DON'T JUST PUSH A BLIND GUY AROUND

Which of course results in a tumble to the ground, with a surprised "oof" and a frustrated expletive to follow. That was mean, okay. And he most definitely did not find his center. He tries to yell at her, but once again all he ends up doing is singing-]

You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue!

[...What the hell? Well, at least this song has insults, whatever it is.]

[gleamed]

Somehow I'll make a man
Out of you!

[She counters right back in the art of yell-singing. You've got to toughen up, Asch. Or you'll never make it through this war!]

[dissonates]

[He stares up in her general direction, eyes narrowed.

Opens his mouth.

Shuts it.

No. Screw you and your musically-inclined animals. HE IS NOT SINGING ANOTHER WORD, DEAL WITH IT.]

[gleamed]

[Fine, Asch. FIIIIIINE. But a chorus of animals are cutting in. Becuase Rapunzel has been trying to whip them into shape and they've got testimonials to share. You better think about complying.]

I'm never gonna catch my breath! [Sings a bunny.]
Say good-bye to those who knew me! [Sings a fish jumping out of the river.]
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym! [Sings an otter.]
This gal's got 'em scared to death! [A field mouse.]
Hope she doesn't see right through me! [Sings Pascal.]
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim! [A turkey about to fall into the river.]

[dissonates]

[Wh-what the hell are all of these tiny voices around him, anyway? It's seriously disorienting. He groans, lifting a hand to cover his face and muffle the sound, and quietly, quietly, adds-]

...Be a man...

[If he has to participate to escape this, he will do so with MINIMAL CONTRIBUTION. The song has to end eventually, right?

...Right?]

[gleamed]

[That's more like it! Rapunzel traipses up to Asch to get in his face again, even if he can't see her. The effect is still important!]

We must swift as a coursing river!
With all the force of a great typhoon!
With all the strength of a raging fire!
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!