Event Log - Malnosso World

[lucetimods]

Who: Everybody!
What: A field trip for the entirety of Luceti!
When: October 27th, until the end of November 2nd
Where: The Happiest Place on the Moon, Malnosso World!
Summary: So you remember all those times Luceti was transformed into Luceti Land? Welcome to Malnosso World, Luceti Land's bigger, cooler brother. Be sure to keep all hands inside the rides at all times, and refer to your map if you get lost. Trust me, you'll get lost.
Rating: F for Fun!

Comments

[herotypical]

"There are small and impressionable children around, so...yeah. Of course I did. Maybe you should keep that in mind, too."

[originaljackass]

"It would be a crime to deprive these children of having the full Jack experience as a role model."

[herotypical]

"Yeah, that's just about the worst--"

Idea. But the Slayer stumbled mid-accusation. Because, of course, the subject had unintentionally looped back around to the uncomfortable knot at the centre of this conversation. She was still concerned over how he was handling Clementine's departure. All this regression and all this escapism. Buffy swallowed the rest of her words and seemed to lose some of her heat and iron.

"The full Jack experience could do with some improvement, lately."

[originaljackass]

"Candy had no complaints."

Candy was, he assumed, the name of the woman he was just with. Or maybe she had just offered him candy? He couldn't remember now. He also realized he didn't care.

[herotypical]

Buffy, of course, misunderstood. Assuming they were still talking about how the park was filled with children: "You can't just keep giving them candy, either. Doesn't set the best examples. Think of the cavities!"

[originaljackass]

[herotypical]

"Am I the only one who cares about dental hygiene in this place? Seriously..."

[originaljackass]

"First of all? Yes. Secondly, I wasn't handing out candy to little kids. What do you take me for, the local pedo-in-a-van?"

[herotypical]

"You know? You're right. I really can't see you ever stepping foot into anything as curveless as a van. However, I feel it is my duty to point out that...that woman? Was probably a couple centuries younger than you, am I right?"

So sayeth the serial vampire dater.

[originaljackass]

"Probably. But the dating pool for thousand year old women is very limited."

[herotypical]

"...You can always go back to making it work with Anya."

[originaljackass]

"You want to set me up with Anya?" That surprised him. He assumed that, somehow, the two of them were close or something.

[herotypical]

"That was sarcasm."

And yet -- didn't it just about solve her problem? It was annoying, really, to have all these concerns and worries and judgements and emotions where Jack Horner was concerned. Perhaps getting him heart-deep in something of real value and commitment, should it even be possible, might cure her of all this weirdness. All this dependency.

"But you two would suit each other. Blunt, rude, opportunistic. Pains in my neck, most days. She'd be way better for you than..." Me. "Someone else."

[originaljackass]

"Effie?" Her name was regarded flippantly. Whether they were together or not obviously meant nothing to him, given his recent engagement with Candy and several other women.

[herotypical]

"Her! Exactly," Buffy rushed to cover the slight disconnection between who Jack had named and who she had meant. It wouldn't do for him to clue into the strangely one-sided possessiveness that had rooted deep down in her bones after she'd learned about the Luceti Valley retreatment. "Let's face it, you may be a d-bag but you're still out of her league. She didn't exactly seem so bright. Sad, certainly. And definitely damaged. But bright? Nuh-uh."

[originaljackass]

"Out of her league? She doesn't even stand in the shadow of mine. Not many Mundy women do."

[herotypical]

"That's what I'm saying. You know, apart from the chauvinistic BS towards the end."

[originaljackass]

"Why, exactly, is it that you care so much about the women I sleep with when you seem to have no interest in doing that yourself?"

[herotypical]

She tried to wave the question off with a simple: "One of them approached me for help and another lives with me -- even if your little dalliance was more Shift than anything else. I'm not the one getting me involved, here."

She's just the one keeping herself involved.

[originaljackass]

"And did Mandy there have some connection to you that I knew nothing about?"

Was Mandy her name? Maybe it was something else.

[herotypical]

"Does Mandy-Candy-whoever-she-was look like the person I'm concerned about? It's not like I'm chasing her down and giving her the wag of the finger."

Arms crossed. Eyes forward. She was here, again. In front of him. Imposing her worries and her intrusive interest upon him.

[originaljackass]

He stood his ground, looking unimpressed. And then turned around and walked to a nearby vending cart where pickles were being distributed. "You should. She's going to get away if you don't."

[herotypical]

"So let her. She's not the one I have to share a bubble with when all this bread and circus has evaporated."

[originaljackass]

"A shame, honestly. She liked the freaky stuff." He turned to her with a pickle in each hand. "Pickle? They're dill."

[herotypical]

"They always say they're into the freaky stuff the first time, Jack. It's how they seal the deal in the hopes that you might actually keep seeing them afterwards. Lemme guess, you told her you'd look her up during the next joint draft or something?"

She picked the snack out of his hand, not even bothering to say thanks. After all, in Buffy's world, simply deigning to accept the pickle was gratitude enough.