Zompania Draft - Draftees only, days 1-3.5

[lucetimods]

Who: All Draftees
What: This is your death. Followed by your time-traveling life and desperate bomb hunting.
When: From May 22 to May 20 to early May 23 (days 1-4)
Where: Zompania
Summary: Information post here
Rating: Varies on thread, please mark explicit material.

This post is for the draftee-only portion of the Zompania draft--the day 3 death, time travel to day 1, and then the events until the arrival of the reinforcements. Be sure to use the above info post for any plotting needs you might have. Enjoy!

Please note that there is a specific top-level comment thread for:

• The day 3 arrival of the draftees and the 6 hours that follow until the bomb is dropped
  
• Death--This thread can be treated as REFERENCE ONLY. Responding to it isn't necessary.
  
• Threads prior to departing for Zompania--post resurrection freak outs, arguments over how to proceed, etc.

All other threading, from day 1 until the reinforcements arrive, should be conducted as normal.

Be sure to tag this post appropriately: [canon] character name

Comments

[complicatedliar]

[Loki runs out of breath eventually, about the time Billy shakes him. He gives the boy a hopeless, almost blank look.

Around them, the trees explode into clouds of splinters. Destruction is sudden, indiscriminate, and absolute.]

[selfhelp]

[Billy can't help flinching at the sudden explosion, but he'd been bracing himself for something to happen; a split second before the wooden shrapnel and dust reaches them, a glimmer of blue flares from his eyes and surrounds them, causing the chips, blades, and branches to ricochet harmlessly away. A few splinters rain down on them from above before the shield can make it all the way around, but it's better than getting impaled by a flying branch or something.

He's trembling as the dust settles, eyes creeping open to meet Loki's gaze. The expression he finds there makes him lurch forward again, hands clasping either side of Loki's face and holding him there, clenching his teeth.]

Focus. I need you to focus. Look at me. We're alive. We're alive because of you. You destroyed an illusion, nothing more. You didn't kill her.

[complicatedliar]

[But he did. He had killed her, as surely as if he'd held the sword Malekith thrust through her back. Loki started to laugh.]

But I did.

I'm getting...very good at this...

[selfhelp]

[Billy shakes him again, more urgently this time, frightened by his reaction. He's never seen Loki like this.]

No! You didn't. You never did. I refuse to believe that you could ever kill her- not when this is how you respond to even an illusion of it. It's not your fault, Loki.

[complicatedliar]

[Loki hiccups, then starts laughing again, shaking his head.]

I told...told him where to find her.

[Everything hurts. He feels so sick and dizzy he can barely put words together. Silver tongue gone to lead? Oh, so tangled with lies.]

And then just sat...sat in my cage whilst she died.

[Just like he'd sat here, completely unaware of his brother's plight.]

[selfhelp]

[This part... he hadn't heard. Cautiously he glances around - still no one, despite the light, despite the explosion. They're lucky. Tightening the forcefield around them, he grips Loki's arms, holding him in place to try and keep his focus on Billy, to keep him upright.]

Tell me. Tell me what happened, all of it.

[complicatedliar]

[He feels so strange, so woozy. Without Billy gripping him so tightly, he'd probably have fallen over by now. The words just come out, because he's too tired to stop them.]

When I was in the dungeon. Waiting for Odin to execute me--bastard. But Mother wouldn't let him. And then when the Kursed on...came in with the prisoners somehow. Broke out. Let out all of the other prisoners. But not me. Oh no. He left me to rot like everyone else.

But I told him. The best way to get out of the dungeons. The one that would take him to the shield room. Near the royal quarters. [He starts laughing again.]

And then he and Malekith killed Mother, after I told him where to go. And I just sat in my bloody cage. Sat in my cage while they killed her.

[selfhelp]

[That... okay, that sounds bad. Horrible, actually. But it's about the same level of guilt as he'd expected to hear. Loki loves his mother. It's the most obvious thing about him, actually. So to hear him say so blatantly that he killed her sounds like the biggest lie he's ever told in his life.

Loki always lies. It's a pretty common phrase, and it's true enough, a lot of the time. Even, it seems, to himself.

Pursing his lips, Billy pulls him into another hug, letting his magic close in around them, a soft, pale blue light warming the air and keeping them safe from the world, at least for a little while.]

That isn't the same as killing her. You shouldn't... say that. You couldn't have known.

[complicatedliar]

[He clutches uselessly at Billy's cloak.] I should have realized. I should have been there. Thor was right for once in his bloody life. [The great and brilliant Loki, who plays games that last centuries, who plans his moves like an artist lays out dominoes, and how useless he had become.]

[selfhelp]

How could you be there, when you'd been locked away? It was out of your hands.

[It's not like that kind of awareness can help anyone feel better - he'd learned that with Teddy, with his own guilt for failing her. And it's not like he could understand this feeling, with both his parents still very much alive and an extra set to spare.

But he understands grief. And he knows how hard it is to let go of your guilt... and to keep it from overwhelming you, too.]

[complicatedliar]

But that's precisely it. I could do nothing because I had been imprisoned. And that was my own miscalculation. I did this. [He chuckles dryly.]

[selfhelp]

So do you blame Thor for killing her too, then?

[It's asked quietly, calmly, without accusation. Speaking of Thor is still painful, with the dead man's blood on his face and clothes and the brother in his arms still grieving the loss of a different family member, but he figures the question is pretty essential.]

[complicatedliar]

I tried to. [His voice is a bare whisper.] But he won that argument.

[selfhelp]

Can... I ask how?

[That's possibly the most confusing thing he's heard yet. But better to keep Loki talking than to hav him clam up, he figures. This is one seriously messed up situation, and he has no idea how else to deal.]

[complicatedliar]

[Loki giggles.] He was in the dungeon whilst mother was murdered. Because he thought I was trying to escape.

[selfhelp]

[...Well.

Ouch.]

...It's still not either of your faults. Blame yourself for not saving her if you have to blame yourself for something- I understand that sometimes you have to do that. But not for the murder. That's different. It's totally different.

[complicatedliar]

[Loki laughs softly.] Oh Billy. Such a lawyer when it suits you. That's my trick.

[That thought, that realization, gives him back some semblance of self control. He feels sick, and shaken, and the renewed grief cuts like he has swallowed one of his own daggers. But he's had to talk enough that he has calmed down to something that seems almost rational. It's hard to explain oneself while screaming, after all.

He uncurls his fingers from Billy's cloak and lets him go.]

[selfhelp]

...Sorry.

[He doesn't know what else to say. A lawyer? He's never considered it- he's not ruthless enough for that. Still, his words seem to have accomplished something, for good or for ill. Loki's moving. He'll accept small victories where he can take them.]

Can you stand up? We should get out of here...

[He sticks close, to make sure Loki would know that he's still here to help if it's needed.]

[complicatedliar]

Of course I can stand. [Of course he can. He's not that week, nor that foolish.

He tries to stand. He's shaking. It's just grief, false grief. That must be it.

Or it might be all of the blood that he spilled to no purpose at all, such a fool he is. His vision begins to gray out as he achieves his feet.]

[selfhelp]

[...Shit. Well, so much for that. Billy grimaces and reaches for his cape, tearing off a strip of the tattered material and tugging Loki's arm up to wind the fabric around it.]

Dammit... that looks bad. I could fly us back to the healers, or...

[He hesitates. A teleport would be faster, and much safer, but... he hasn't done a teleport in more than six months. It's actually really frightening to consider, almost as much so as the thought of crossing the battlefield itself.]

[complicatedliar]

Give me a moment to catch my feet. I needn't be carried. [No Loki, you really kind of do. Whatever the Dream Shifter did to you, it wasn't good.]

[selfhelp]

Shut up, that's bull.

[He's too emotionally exhausted to put up with false confidence or bravado right now. They're in danger, Loki needs help, deal with it.

Dammit, he'll have to try.]

Hold still.

[complicatedliar]

Rude. Why should my standing be so offensive to you? [okay, not the most coherent response ever from him. He may be losing the plot, slightly. It's been a rough evening.]

[selfhelp]

Because you're terrible at it right now.

[You're wobbling, man. Just behave and cooperate.

He closes his eyes, focusing inwardly. And he's really hoping the area around them is still quiet for the moment, because he has to let go of the forcefield to teleport them somewhere. He chants quietly under his breath, echoing the phrase over and over.

If all goes well, they'll be zapped right to the med area in a minute or so.]

[complicatedliar]

[Don't be ridiculous. Loki has never behaved a day in his life. Which should not be mistaken for just not having the energy to be as difficult as he'd like.

Rather he just leans against Billy.]

I'm so glad you're doing magics again. [Mother would have been glad too.]