Zompania Draft - Draftees only, days 1-3.5

[lucetimods]

Who: All Draftees
What: This is your death. Followed by your time-traveling life and desperate bomb hunting.
When: From May 22 to May 20 to early May 23 (days 1-4)
Where: Zompania
Summary: Information post here
Rating: Varies on thread, please mark explicit material.

This post is for the draftee-only portion of the Zompania draft--the day 3 death, time travel to day 1, and then the events until the arrival of the reinforcements. Be sure to use the above info post for any plotting needs you might have. Enjoy!

Please note that there is a specific top-level comment thread for:

• The day 3 arrival of the draftees and the 6 hours that follow until the bomb is dropped
  
• Death--This thread can be treated as REFERENCE ONLY. Responding to it isn't necessary.
  
• Threads prior to departing for Zompania--post resurrection freak outs, arguments over how to proceed, etc.

All other threading, from day 1 until the reinforcements arrive, should be conducted as normal.

Be sure to tag this post appropriately: [canon] character name

Comments

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[touchofrogue]

Rogue closed her eyes and rested her chin on the crown of his head, still holding his hand tightly. "You're very good to me," she whispered, even though her heart ached. He couldn't help what had happened. He was trying. He was here.

Gawd, if she screamed, would her heart find some release?

"You're good to me," she repeated.

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[complicatedliar]

He sighed against her shoulder. "I'm trying." He huffed a laugh. "Had I a dagger sharp enough to excise those rotted parts of my heart, I would without hesitation."

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[touchofrogue]

That caused her concern. She'd seen his disregard for his physical well-being before and hearing parts of his heart referred to as rotted...

Rogue pulled back a little and urged him to look up at her. "Loki, what happened? Why would you say that? Why are you so upset about this now?"

Her eyes narrowed a little. "Did Eugene - try somethin'?"

She didn't really know Eugene from Adam, having only met him a few times. She didn't know if he was the sort of man to discount a relationship and just go after what he wants. She couldn't blame anyone for being attracted to Loki - the man was fire and darkness, flickering change and insatiable focus, and the way he moved... And she knew him. This was more than something that had happened almost a month ago. Something had brought this on, something had made him decide to tell her, and tell her now, in the middle of a battlefield when they both needed all their focus.

And now he was talking about 'rotted parts of his heart' and 'cutting' and Rogue was growing increasingly concerned and, to be quite honest, frightened.

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[complicatedliar]

He gave his head a little shake and straightened. "I think myself just over tired," he said. "I have been avoiding the entire matter because I hoped it would all just... fade."

"Eugene just wished to discuss the matter. Hah. And seemed concerned I had been taken advantage of." The very idea! Still incredibly insulting, even now. His affront did show in his expression. "I don't know. I found it all very bothersome."

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[touchofrogue]

Maybe it hadn't faded because he had been avoiding it. Maybe it hadn't faded because he wanted it so much.

That was why he wanted you, remember. It was all because of an experiment.

Rogue hadn't been expecting that thought, and it slipped through her defenses with stiletto-like precision. She flinched slightly.

...taken advantage of.

It was very difficult to hear this. She was probably several nearly undetectable shades paler. She watched Loki carefully. "I'm glad you told me."

Re: Day 3, the light before the tunnel

[complicatedliar]

"I... ought to have told you before," he said, looking down at their hands. "But I didn't want to talk about it." He snorted. "Really, I still don't. I don't want this."

Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

It was as easy as falling for Rogue to make her next jump in logic. At first the words wouldn't come out, even though she opened her mouth, and then she swallowed and tried again. "Because - because you still do. That's what you're sayin', isn't it? You don't wanna talk about it 'cause you haven't been able to shake it."

She was glad he was looking at his hands; she was glad he couldn't see her face. She wouldn't want anyone to see her face like this. Her expression felt foreign on her skin.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

It was precisely the thing he had feared, and for this he could hate Eugene a bit. Without these thoughts properly crystallized, he might have avoided the question. Come to a different conclusion.

But rather than answer immediately, he reached out to drag her into his lap. "Ask me if I want you any less," he said, an odd note of anger beginning to color his voice.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

The sudden movement jarred her bruised ribs and Rogue couldn't help flinching even though she stifled her sound of pain and surprise. Rogue was fluent enough in the way Loki told her the truth that she knew avoidance meant varying shades of yes. Her face crumbled like old newspaper. She didn't try to get off his lap, but she wouldn't, couldn't ask him that question. Her world had tilted on its axis and she needed a moment to find her ground, a moment to turn her face away from his and hide behind her hair and swallow back nausea.

Her heart didn't make any sound at all, not a crack, not a shatter - rather it careened wildly in her chest as if seeking a way of escape. It had been better before, hadn't it, when her heart had stopped completely.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

It was the gasp of pain.

Then it was the silence.

Then it was the sound of his own heart cracking. He had misunderstood everything. He had ruined everything already, even though he had fought himself the entire way.

Destroy everything I touch. Hah.

Part of him wanted to scream this was unfair. Eugene had assured him, that there was nothing wrong... Hah, but Eugene would, wouldn't he. Perhaps it was just men like him that were so broken... Men like him and Eugene both.

It did not matter, he supposed, that he loved her. His heart was already faithless. Well, what other sort of heart would Loki have? He had been right to so despise himself.

Loki lifted his hands away to let Rogue go.

"My apologies, lady," he said, voice gone dull. He had nothing but formal words left. "It seems I have broken faith with you. With your leave, I shall go."

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

Something snapped. Her world was still off kilter. Her ribs still hurt. But Rogue knew what she wanted, and him to leave was not it. In the wake of pain and loss there was anger, and anger propelled her to twist clumsily on his lap, shifting to straddle him. Her hands when to his shoulders and Rogue got in his face.

"You damn fool, you gotta give a girl a minute to breathe!" She shoved his shoulders against the wall with desperate strength and held him there. "I am angry an' I am hurtin' an' your timing sucks, but for Gawd's sake, Loki, if I wanted you to go don't you think I'd tell you? Pull your head outta your butt. You're tellin' me you slept with other men, men you thought were your lovers for centuries and that the feelings stuck around an' I don't get even a minute to process it 'fore you up and decide for me that you've broken faith and need to walk away? To hell with that!"

Protesting ribs could also go to hell as she leaned forward and claimed his mouth with a hard, passionate kiss.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

That was startling, and unexpected, and he actually wanted to argue with quite a bit that she said, the way she said it which made it sound a thousand times worse when he already felt terrible, but he didn't get a word in edge-wise.

Loki let her kiss him, and even tried clumsily to respond, but it was too fast a reverse in thought. When she finally gave him a bit of room he just stayed back against the wall and stared at her.

"It think," he said carefully, "I would really just rather you decide if you're angry with me or not and have done with it. I already loathe myself, and now I'm confused."

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

She winced a little when she sat back down on his lap, her ribs protesting rather loudly at her previous movement. "If I'm angry with you, then it's for deciding to just leave. I don't want you to go. If you are choosin' to be with me, if you are bein' true to me, then I want you ta stay."

She closed her eyes and tilted her head to bring their foreheads into contact and she quietly repeated, "I want you. I want you to stay."

As for how she felt about everything else, she could sort through all that later. But if he was choosing to be with her, even if it hurt that he wanted other people, as long as he didn't act on it... she still wanted him to stay.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

Loki nodded slowly. "I want to stay."

So that was something, at least. She wanted him to stay.

But about the rest? It really only reinforced the conclusion he'd begun to formulate, that there was something terribly wrong with him for feeling he way he did at all.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

"Okay, good," she said, wincing a little as she pulled back. She was relieved and numb and tired and confused and hurting, but she did want him to stay. "I've gotta have a bruise the size of a watermelon," she complained a little absently, explaining her wince away.

She needed a moment to focus on something else, anything else but what had already passed between them. Explaining away her wincing seemed like a plan for the moment as her head and heart raced to catch up to each other and find some kind of agreement.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

"Oh. What happened?" Well that explained a little bit. He hadn't hurt her on purpose. He reached out to touch her, thinking to ease the pain, then hesitated, and simply offered her his hand instead. He felt as if he should be more cautious until he understood quite where everything stood.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

"Hazards of close fightin'," Rogue shrugged a little, not quite making eye contact with him and not quite looking away either. "It was either take the hit or get thrown off the airship."

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

"Ah." Loki nodded. "You made the wise choice, then. Did you destroy many of the airships?"

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

"A good few," Rogue said, running her hand through her hair, abruptly tired and uncomfortable with the distraction she had introduced. But she didn't know where to go from here, they were already too far down this rabbit trail... more, she didn't know what she wanted to say.

Her first step was to look back at him. "Kurt teleported us up and then we took on the crew."

And Rogue looked at him closely, looked at the way he was looking at her.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

Loki finally let his hand drop back to his lap. Instead he nodded. "That seems a fine strategy. Has Kurt been well?"

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

"Well? No," she was beginning to recognize this now, beginning to find her way. This was Loki on his best behavior, trying not to rock the boat and keep her where she was, as he had back when he was - well, he'd call it 'courting' her, and she couldn't think of any other term. "But he's all in one piece, at least."

She took a shuddering breath and reached for the hand she half hadn't seen, half had ignored. She took his hand in both of hers, smoothed her thumbs over the sides. It was time to operate on instinct, now. She didn't want either of them distracted by this when they got out there. They couldn't afford that. She needed him to know... needed him to know that she was with him.

Rogue took his hand and put it over her heart. She held it there. "You still want me to ask you if you want me any less?"

It did something to hear to say the words out loud. It was like a ringing in her ear, similar to the same internal response she'd had when Loki had told her she was enough before the depth of her concern had begun to form. It was something that needed saying and felt better expressed than weighing her down.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

"That is all one can hope, in a time like this." At least for someone like Kurt. He'd already seen how thin the boy had worn on the second day.

His lips moved into a tired, almost sad smile. "It is your choice, if you would like to know the answer." Should he try to heal her now? He wasn't certain at all, any more.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

Rogue searched his face before she responded. She could see echoes of pain and fear in his expression, and part of her vaguely wondered if he hurt like she hurt or if it was another thing entirely.

Would she like to know the answer?

What do you want, Rogue?

He hadn't cheated on her. He'd told her about what he was struggling with, and even if it was the worst timing ever, he'd told her and risked losing her because he wanted things to be right between them. He'd told her because he was upset and struggling and he trusted her.

What did she want?

Still holding his hand over her heart, Rogue leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his temple, moved to place light kisses over his eyes, on his cheekbones, his nose, his forehead, his chin, and she spoke quietly between kisses. "Maybe I should guess first. An' you can tell me if I'm right."

She wanted to believe in him. She wanted to hold onto him. Loki had done nothing but earn her trust, and it was time that she trusted him.

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[complicatedliar]

Loki closed his eyes, letting his head bow slowly. Each kiss was a single point of relief, letting his shoulders unclench, allowing him to swallow down some of the anger and upset. He huffed a laugh. "Then speak your guess aloud. At this point I shall not hazard myself to make assumptions."

Re: Day 3, you know, this light is looking kind of dim

[touchofrogue]

"Probably a good idea," she murmured, coming finally to kiss his other temple before she pulled back and looked at him again. She gave him her smallest smile, the one filled with hope and a certain amount of tentative confidence. "I'm guessin' that you still want me. I'm guessin' you're still mine."