lucetilogs | Zompania Draft - Draftees and Reinforcements, mid-day 4-early 7

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Zompania Draft - Draftees and Reinforcements, mid-day 4-early 7

Who: Draftees and Volunteers
What: The draftees and the reinforcements must hold against the Third Party army until rescue arrives
When: From May 23 through the wee hours of May 26 (days 4-7)
Where: Zompania
Summary: Draftee information and Volunteer information
Rating: Varies on thread, please mark explicit material.

This post is for the rest of the draft, beginning when the volunteer reinforcements arrive. Look up in the sky--your friends are parajumping in! Be sure to use the above info post for any plotting needs you might have. Enjoy!

Be sure to tag this post appropriately: [canon] character name

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[Booker stays silent for a moment, swallows compulsively and his eyes shift everywhere as if he's trying to find the answer anywhere but her face when he suddenly spits out:]

Yes.

[...]

No.

[...]

I don't know! I wanted...I wanted to find you. I'd...I couldn't find you.

[20 years of searching. 20 years of trying to find a man who didn't exist in his world. When the same man who had made the trade appeared in his apartment, he didn't even ask how it was possible. He just went.]

I'm right here. [Elizabeth slides her hand back into Booker's, she's not going to take any argument from him either. She reaches up to put her hand on his cheek too, trying for a more gentle method of making him look at here.]

You found me, I'm right here. [She tears up again.] That week, when we were a family and I was your daughter, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted it to be true. I've wanted a family for as long as I can remember. [She squeezes his hand, thinking she's going to have to look down soon so she can cry. But she keeps looking, steels herself.] Please don't hurt me, just so you can hurt yourself some more. Please don't lose me again.

[It takes that. It takes Elizabeth telling him he's causing them both pain when he tells her the things he thinks he needs to say because they're what he deserves, for him to realize that he's not just punishing himself.

It's what stops him from telling her he isn't good enough to be her actual father. Biology and choice aren't the same thing and he wouldn't be anyone's choice.

It stops him from saying that and his only alternative there is to hug her. He practically lashes out and clings to her but his chin is tucked over the back of her shoulder while his arms press against her back and don't crush her against him - it's all he can do to keep himself from weeping at the thought of what could be and what is.

He consoles himself with the knowledge that he would have been a horrible father; always drunk, never enough work or money. It was always something.]

I won't.

[Booker says it with the utmost solemnity. As if he were making a vow to God himself. Which request of Elizabeth's he's answering is a mystery.]

[Perhaps if Elizabeth had grown up as Anna with a father who was always drunk and could never pay his bills she would have wanted someone different. If she had grown up without knowing what Booker had braved for her, she wouldn't have chosen him.]

[But even given a choice, Elizabeth wouldn't pick anyone else. She mattered to him, he knew her, accepted her, tried in his own way to make her happy. She thought about those snatches of Gai's songs she heard Booker plucking out on his guitar, and Nemo, and the gun he'd given her to keep her safe during the draft. Money, sobriety, what were they worth if she didn't have love?]

[She clings back, her arms over Booker's shoulders, tears rolling down her cheeks again.] I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't figure it out. This whole time, we could have been a family.

[Booker refused to believe that Elizabeth wasn't the only one breaking down. After the curtain had been pulled back on the sum of his offenses against her, he expected so much worse than a tearful, bittersweet pseudo-reunion. But - a pessimistic voice reminded him - she didn't know the truly terrible parts of it.

He'd have to tell her, and the thought of it reaping his terrifying fantasies of all the ways she could take it makes him try to hold her closer even if it is impossible.]

Don't. Don't do that.

[He didn't elaborate but he knew that if she started doing that now the list of 'what could have been' would have been a nagging, all-consuming thought in the back of her mind for a long, long time. It probably would be no matter what but, as if it would stop her from thinking it, Booker didn't want her to vocalize it.]

Don't do what? [Elizabeth looks nervous for a moment and loosens her grip on Booker. She didn't think she could hurt Booker by squeezing him, but maybe she was pinching him...?]

Don't wonder about that kinda stuff. It's... it ain't good.

[He offers it up lamely, as he if doesn't think he should be allowed to say it. Despite this, Booker follows it up with another clarification because he's nervous and he always starts speaking in staccato when he gets like this.]

For you.

Oh... [Elizabeth thinks about it for a moment, and realizes Booker's right. If she thought about how her childhood would have been different, or what it would have been like to go to the library or the park with Booker, she would just start crying.]

We have all the time in Luceti now, though. I'll be the best daughter to you, we'll have time together. [She nods encouragingly-- even if Booker thinks he doesn't deserve it, Elizabeth wants it. A relationship with a father figure.]

[Booker doesn't really know what to say to that. Of course he wants that, Actually having Elizabeth as a daughter and living in that kind of world that had existed for a week or so. The one where they had been family. But, as ever, Booker doesn't think that with the laundry list of sins he has - that this is really how it should be for him.

But Elizabeth deserves a family. The one she wants and if he is somehow apart of that then why should he try and fight it?

It might be the draft, it might be...well, everything. Booker doesn't understand his mind half as well as he might think and he listens to the enticing idea that this might be really happening.]

Sure.

[A smile spreads -- easily this time, if not a little watery. How bad could it be to just...let it happen?

He could regret it later. ]

That's all you can say? 'Sure'? [Though from her own watery smile and laugh, Booker can probably tell that Elizabeth is teasing him. She's happy, at the very least, if not doing exactly what Booker her warned her against: playing scenarios of what could have been.]

I don't... know how to be anyone's daughter though. Is it like how we were in Columbia? Looking after each other? More Sunday picnics? [She flashes a wry smile.]

You think I know how to be anyone's father?

[It's very easy to see the similarities between them now, the sharp tick up on their more bitter smiles and the way experience weighs down on them both.

This is possibly the last conversation he wanted to have here.]

We'll...

[He shrugs, unsure. But not uninterested.]

We can try and figure it out as we go.

[Elizabeth pauses for a moment to take that in and consider it. Then she nods, smiling.] Okay. I'll figure it out with you, as we go.

[She's just happy they have something to work on together. Something that would, hopefully, bring them closer and give them both that bond they had been looking for.]

So what do I call you? Daddy? [She grins and shoulders him lightly.] I can't see me calling you 'Father'.

[Booker cringes - almost comically, but it's meant to be so because he smiles afterwards. Almost laughing as he shrugs his shoulder into her, mimicking her.]

I think we can stick with Booker. Unless you wanna try something else out.

[He's just gonna stick with whatever nicknames he manages to come up with on the fly.]

[She actually laughs at the expression he makes-- honestly laughs. It's true, calling Booker 'daddy' does feel a little strange right now. Too artificial, too forced, maybe. Elizabeth resettles her head on his shoulder.]

Maybe someday. Booker's good. Booker isn't 'Mr. DeWitt'.

There's that at least.

[Booker doesn't have to think about calling Elizabeth anything but that, luckily for him there isn't a high precedent for calling children that belong to you by anything but their names.

He does know he's never going to say 'child' in regards to Elizabeth though, just thinking about it sends a shiver through him because it sounds like Comstock and that...

just no.]

...I'm sorry, I'm not -- I didn't think we'd end up doing this here.

[Very no.]

I don't think any of us thought we'd be doing... all of this, here. [Mostly Elizabeth is referring to the battle, the bomb, the resurrection, her fight with the lack of a siphon... but also the shotgun marriage. Now that she's realized what Booker has always been to her, she's almost upset with herself for not realizing sooner. If she had, Elizabeth would have made Booker take a larger role in it, she would have asked him if what she was doing was right before just telling him to follow her to witness.]

I'm glad we did it, though. [She smiles at the floor.] I don't think there's ever a good time to ask your father if he sold you to someone. At least this way, we can focus on recovering when we get back. Together. Instead of keeping each other at arm's length, wondering what the other is thinking or what the other knows.

[Booker looks at her - really looks at her - and wishes he could have seen her grow up because maybe then he wouldn't be constantly surprised at how she reacts and takes everything that's thrown at her...and somehow manages, even if she doesn't think so.

He swallows down the pride he feels and quietly speaks.]

I told myself I was gonna.... [He shakes his head, as if trying to jostle free a word to use instead of:] explain things to you before you got married.

[He smiles crookedly at the idea. Like anything he's ever planned has gone the right way.]

I didn't exactly give you a chance to work up to it. [Elizabeth smiles crookedly, but her eyes are troubled as she watches Gai lay on the floor and rest.] I didn't even really give myself a chance to think it through. I honestly thought I was going to die.

[Booker latches onto that last bit like it's a lifeline and tries to subtly ask if she's thinking about taking it back.]

You're not...

[Except he doesn't sound nearly as thrilled as he was afraid he would sound.]

having second thoughts, are you?

[The question scares her-- is that what she's thinking right now? Is she having second thoughts? Is she thinking that she made a mistake?]

I'm tired, and upset, and filthy. I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. [She squeezes Booker's arm again.] I'm just wondering if I did it for the wrong reasons now. I didn't want it to be like that, I wanted... a nice sunny day, and I wanted to smile for every minute of it. I wanted a dress and not riding pants, and my friends there instead of being ripped apart outside. I didn't want to be afraid.

[This time Booker reaches an arm around her thin shoulders and rubs it against the curve of her arm. It's meant to be a comfort, but he doesn't know how well it'll work.]

When we go back... [Not home, because it isn't home.] back to Luceti.

Why don't you do it again?

[Because they will go back. Booker can't afford to think any other way.]

[Booker's comforting gesture is received very well-- Elizabeth easily rests her head against Booker's shoulder and curls her legs up onto the seat so she can cuddle with him. Still, his suggestion makes her raise her eyebrow.]

You want me to do it again? I'd think you wouldn't want to relive it. [She looks up at him with a sidelong, calculating look.] If I do it again, you're going to have to walk me down the aisle.

[Booker almost - almost - balks and asks: "What?! Why?!" But keeps himself from reacting beyond trying to shrug without disturbing Elizabeth's headrest.

It doesn't work that well and he tries to make it work with one shoulder instead of both.]

...It's not about me.

[Which is true. Elizabeth wanted something beautiful and settled for this ...surely if when they got out of here, she would want to have that memory.

So Booker keeps his discomfort to himself, doesn't tell her he thinks they're both too young to do this, that it's too sudden, that she barely knows him and vice versa - despite them sharing so much. A years isn't a long enough time to know one another.

He stops himself from saying any of that. Because he doesn't matter here.]

Who said it was about you? I want you there. [She raises her eyebrows as she looks up at him. Elizabeth might have kept her tone a little joking, but she's serious. It was the reason she'd brought Booker to that dark room to watch the first time, she couldn't imagine taking these steps without him. Maybe she never could imagine it because she felt what she knew for certain now. Booker had always been her best friend, and the fact that he's her father doesn't change that.]

You don't have to be at the center of attention if you don't want to be. But I hope you'll come. At least to dance with me once...

[Booker smiles indulgently, thinking back on the first time she'd asked him to dance with her. He said no then but he thinks now he might dance with her for days if she asked him to.

At least he thinks so, he's had a streak going ever since... well. For a long time.]

Just once.

[He sounds so reluctant as he says it but his expression says otherwise.]

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Zompania Draft - Draftees and Reinforcements, mid-day 4-early 7

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