lucetilogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Frederic Francois Chopin and Helios Sola Sprensonne
What: Two friends having a discussion
When: Late evening
Where: Outside of the village, near the lake in the forest
Summary: Frederic is sitting by the lake by himself when a friend stumbles upon him
Rating: G-PG, possibly PG13

[Frederic had been sitting by the lake alone, he even wore a cloak so no one would recognize him. He sat by that lake for a long while, staring out at the water and the moonlight. Even if Polka, Viola, and all of these wonderful new friends were around, he still felt alone. In reality, what still bothered at him was something else. Yet, he felt he couldn't speak to anyone about it, so he kept to himself a bit longer.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He'd been wandering, like most days, around the village and the outlying forest. He found taking these walks allowed him to sort out his thoughts and his feelings since coming to this place. He always ended up thinking back to the school, wondering if it was all right, left in the care of...he didn't even know, actually, his depart was far too sudden for him to appoint anyone. He found himself drawn to the lake usually it was calming and he could certainly use that to sort out his thoughts. He walked past a cloaked figure who was also sitting, alone, by the lakeside hoping his intrusion would not disturb them. ]

[Frederic lifted his head up to see who had been passing him by and saw Helios' figure out of the corner of his eye. Removing his hood quickly, he called to his friend walking by.]

Helios!

[ He gives a small jump, since he certainly wasn't expecting the hooded figure to make any noise, or call his name specifically. But he looks over, half tripping, half stumbling over an uprooted tree root in the process. A quick adjustment of his glasses before he finally recognizes the voice and the face. ]

Frederic! I didn't even recognize you there! [ He gives a warm smile, walking back over to the other and taking a seat. ]

[Frederic's eyes lower with a sad expression covering his face. His hood remained off, while his cloak remained on. He wasn't expecting his friend, yet he supposed it was better than being by himself. Perhaps he thought, his mind could allow him to speak with Helios about what was bothering him. For now though, he kept his answers simple.]

I'm sorry, but...I'm in hiding.

[ The smile on his face turns into a frown, concerned he presses the issue. Funny, if it had been someone else he might have decided to get up and leave them be at that moment; but Frederic was a good friend, and he simply couldn't leave with an answer like that. ]

Hiding, Frederic? From what, if I may ask?

[Turning to his friend, Frederic continues frowning with his expression remaining the same. He could see the concern his friend was showing for him, thus he couldn't keep anything to himself anymore.]

From everyone. I want to find the spirits and get stronger, only then will I be able to defeat Aku.

Everyone... [ His voice is tinged with a bit sadness. ]

Aku. Yes he seems to be a bit of a problem for this place. But you shouldn't...you don't have to fight him alone, Frederic. [ He pauses because somehow he sees himself a little in the other. ] Together! We can certainly fend him off together, all of us, here.

[He stares at Helios with a determined look and shakes his head firmly, his friend had stated such words to him before.]

No Helios, I need to fight him alone. [His eyes lower as he turns back to look at the lake water.] It is my destiny to die and it will repay the debt I committed against my world if I take him with me to the afterlife.

[ He's not looking directly at Frederic this time, but out towards the lake instead. His eyes and expression akin to thinking of distant memories or perhaps merely putting together his thoughts. ]

Frederic you don't have to die. I don't know what exactly you did back in your world, and I know it must sound foolish of me to even consider knowing, but there are people here who care about you myself included. For you to die, it would make them terribly sad. There's no reason someone should have to do this just to repay a debt. There's always another choice, acknowledgment of your past actions you committed in your world is a good start. It would be a slow repayment, but a better one than death.

[Frederic lowers his head and sighs heavily, there was so much to tell his friend. Usually he kept these matters to himself, but Helios was a good enough friend to trust.]

I have acknowledged what it was I did and I understand how everyone would feel, do not misunderstand me upon those matters. But please understand Helios, there is more to it than a simple debt. [His expression looks as if he's in terrible pain.] I read the text books in the library about me here, I did it out of simple curiosity you see. [His expression remains grim and pained.] All of them said the same thing, that I was meant to die from my disease and am suppose to be dead. [His eyes turn towards the moon above them as he continued speaking.] I have to set history back into its balance before I cause any more damage.

[ His expression is one of mild shock. He'd forgot that there were books specifically about Frederic here, as there should be; he was famous in almost every form of Earth, or at least that's what he had figured, so it came as no surprise. He was also somehow expecting the other to read about himself, just never would he have thought to read about his death specifically. ]

Frederic...I'm sorry. [ he pauses looking at the others pained expression. [

It must be terribly frightening to learn that you have to die. But...that's not true here. You don't have to live by those words, you can prove them wrong. Perhaps someone at the health center has a means of a cure.

[He was trying hard to hide his emotions, but it was of little use. His pain could probably be seen by anyone looking at him in that set time frame. One could see he was trying to stay strong, but it was very difficult.]

I've broken the course of history by surviving my disease, Helios. I knew the doctors were telling me the truth when they said I was already in the grave because of it. [He puts his hands on the sides of his head.] By going against my fate in my dream world and destroying it, I took the selfish path which allowed me to survive my disease. The cost was my companions' lives, no matter how hard I try to smile, the guilt returns when I am alone along with the visions of their deaths.

[ He could only watch, which hurt, he wanted to help the other; he wanted to do something for him, but what could one possibly say in such instances? A small sigh erupted from his lips as he turned back to look at the lake. He knew about that path, though his was more out of foolishness than selfishness, albeit it could be considered both evils. He knew how much pain and suffering it caused because he too did it selfishly. He should have listened to her when she told him to stop and yet he continued. ]

It's not selfish...to want to survive, Frederic. I'm sure if it were anyone they would have done the same. You've suffered through so much and yet you tell me, a mere man whom you've only just met. I...I want to help, anyway I can. I know of the consequences from the courses of action one takes to save themselves...it's painful, and you shouldn't face it alone. No one deserves that. But you also shouldn't take the path of death. It might be hard, living on with such guilt, but it would not be in vain. For your friends you should continue living for their sake.

[Turning his eyes to Helios, he slowly reaches to put his hand on the other man's shoulder only to stop himself. He knew Helios wasn't fond of people touching him, so he decided not to do it.]

I told you because I trust you, Helios. In reality, it is hard for so many to gain my trust, yet you were able to pass the barriers of my heart and help me open myself to you. [He faintly laughs.] In all honesty, a part of me does want to live for the sake of others, yet that other part of me wishes that I still live for myself as well. I'm confused and lost, unable to figure out what my own heart wants. [He lowers his head and looks rather shameful.] I am pathetic, aren't I? You can say it if you wish to.

Trust me? [ He faintly laughs at that. ] Well, I'm glad then, that I could be of some help. [ He listens never once interrupting. ]

It must be confusing, especially all you've been through. But to figure it out is for you to do along with the help of your friends, but ultimately is it your jurisdiction that will find what it is your heart wants. [ He frowns shaking his head a smiling a little. ] I hardly think that at all, Frederic! I think you're strong from everything you've told me, bearing such a burden like this by yourself...it's not something anyone can do alone.

You've become a dear friend to me, even if I do not say it often. [He's faintly smiling at Helios.] I will say it more often if you wish me to.

All my heart wants to wash away the pain and be at peace, yet I feel as if I will never reach such a goal. [His mind ponder one thing though, but he decides to bring up in a moment.] Thank you for such kind words, it truly means very much to me. [Now he decides to say what he was thinking about.] I do not recall if I asked you this or not, but why do you not like it when people touch you? Did something happen to you which caused your feelings?

Ah, no, no it's fine. [ He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. ]

Oh it's...nothing, really. Just ordinary words from an ordinary man such as myself. I'm glad, though, that I was able to at least bring you some peace. [ His eyes widen and his hands ball into fists, at the question. He sighs, shaking his head. ]

Th-that, aha. It's...ah, it's nothing. I wouldn't want to bother you with such a story, especially after all this. [ He glances at the ground a troubled look on his face. He feels somewhat guilty not telling the other the real answer, especially after he told him so much, but this subject...those memories. ]

It was a long time ago, I-I guess it never really left me.

[Frederic reaches again to place his hand on Helios' shoulder, wanting to comfort him after seeing his troubled look. Yet he stops again for he doesn't want to cause any unneeded stress upon his friend.]

Helios, I want to help you over this fear. If I can do anything for you, please tell me and I will do it. [He lifts his eyes to look at Helios.] I can be strong for both of us if you need me to be.

[ He winces because he knows how much the other wants to help him, yet he doesn't know if it'll ever be enough. He swallows thickly, biting his lower lip as he turns to look back at Chopin, an apologetic look on his face. Elise would have thanked this man for being so kind, he knew it to be true; yet telling someone about this... ]

I--I'm fine, really. [ He gives a faint smile, nodding and waving the other off casually. ] It's not so bad anymore! But, thank you Frederic...I suppose you still deserve an explanation, after all, you did tell me something very private and important to you. Especially when you didn't need to at all. It would be rude of me not to...

[Seeing Helios behaving the way he is has Frederic curious, but he shouldn't assume things until he has all the facts. Instead, he places his hands in his lap and tries to look content for the other man]

I know my outer appearance is that of a proper gentleman with no troubles at all, but it is only a mask. I want to be able to show myself to others around me, yet only a few have seen my true face. You are one of the few who have seen my true face and colors, thus I can't hide myself from you anymore. That is why I spoke out to you in this recent time. [He faintly smiles at his friend.] I will not force you to speak anything to me unless your heart wishes that, otherwise I respect how you feel.

I thank you for that, Frederic. I guess we're both hiding. But you're far more brave then I when it comes to taking it off, I'm afraid. [ He gives the other a faint smile, his own hands resting on his lap. ]

Someone...close to me hurt me when I was very young, and even sometimes now when we're both older. [ He laughs dourly. ] I suppose it's foolish that I don't defend myself, but how can I? How can I do that to him- [ His jaw clenches shut, as his hands ball into fists once more; he shakes his head eyes yielding nothing but a sorrowful look. ]

Ah, it's funny, isn't it? How life is always so complicated, even when we don't think it will be.

[Frederic lowers his eyes and stares down at his hands in his lap. After listening to his friend, he speaks up.]

I understand that you don't wish to hurt those close to you, but if they are intentionally trying to harm you...you should fight back. You shouldn't be afraid of this person, even if they are close to you. [He sighs faintly and turns his eyes to look at the water.] Indeed it is, my friend. And the nightmares I have been having do not help me rest well either.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I just...I just can't do that. I'm afraid I'm not one for violence, haha. [ And because said person is his older brother. ]

Nightmares, Frederic?

[Whoops, he let that slip. He is literally putting his hand to his face on the inside, but he can't hide this from his friend. Especially not after all he has told him.]

Yes, nightmares. They use to plague me back home, some would even keep me up at night because they frightened me so. Recently they have been coming back to haunt me, especially when I think about home or about wanting to fight.

Edited 2010-03-24 02:11 (UTC)

Hm I see. [ He takes his standard thinking pose, a hand going to his chin as his focus is on nothing in particular. Then suddenly he snaps his fingers. ]

Ah! What about Chamomile? I hear it helps with sleeping.

[There's more sighs as he shakes his head. He hopes Helios begins to understand when he explains himself.]

Helios, I don't think these dreams are merely dreams that can be cured by tea. There's one that feels so real that I believe it may come true and may change who I am.

[ He let's out a short laugh. ]

Ah I knew it would be too easy. I feared as much, but still, it wouldn't hurt to try. It feels...real? How so if, ah, you don't mind me asking? [ He's curious actually because he's met someone who comes from a world of dreams, where they actually turn out to be real. ]

[He tries to laugh with his friend, but it falls short.]

Whenever this dream occurs, I am bound in shackles by a demonic version of my own reflection. He tells me I can be what he is if I submit to the darkness in my heart. [He looks really troubled.] This demon tortures me as well. The things he does... he shows me my past mistakes then mocks me, makes my friends turn against me, and other assorted tortures I can't even describe.

Edited 2010-03-24 05:50 (UTC)

[ He looks at Chopin with a worried expression. Unable to say much, given the fact that he can't very well do much in this instance. It shows that he wants to help...but how? ]

Oh...Frederic. I'm...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you rethink about something like that. But they say one of the best ways to cure nightmares is to speak about them. I might not have a solution, but I'm hear to listen if there's anything else. [ He gives the other a sad smile, silently waiting just in case there's anything more Frederic wished to discuss. ]

[Frederic sighs and begins thinking about his nightmares again. How it pained him to remember them, but he knew Helios was only trying to help.]

The beginning of the dream is always the same. I'm in shackles with a demon reflection of myself always taunting me. I don't understand why this happens, but it does. He tells me how much of a coward I am among other disgusting insults. He turns my friends against me as well, having them insult me and torture me in such delight. [His eyes lower and he looks a little ill when thinking.] The tortures are ones I can't even begin to describe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only