lucetilogs | New Species Event - Mass Interaction Log

How can she be expected to not try and help someone she cares for? [ A small frown. ]

If it still exists, you mean you don't... [ That's rather horrible to be here without that knowledge. ]

...I mean the universe was ending. We were trying to stop it.

And I don't know if we did.

I-I don't believe it. [ Helios might sound a bit well surprised unsuspecting too perhaps. He knew Giles' world was one of hardships too many in fact, but that was just-- ] What...what happened? Ah--no I'm sorry it's not my place to ask something like that! I-I've already bothered you far too much as it is.

[ He might get up from his position on the log looking deeply apologetic towards the other. ]

[Now that he wants to tell someone, now that he has to tell someone or go absolutely insane...

...Helios isn't going to let him?

...after Giles trusted him to say this much?

It tears at his heart when Helios gets up, resentment mixed with regret and anxiety and hopelessness, because it's too much like when Buffy walked out on him at the barracks two days ago. But just like last time, Giles doesn't get up. Unlike last time, he speaks, sounding almost panicked for a second.]

Helios, w-wait, I...

[But god, if this is making Helios this anxious, telling him why Giles doesn't know would probably seriously hurt him.]

...I'm sorry.

[ Helios will pause turning to look back at Giles. The tone of voice alone is enough to make him a bit startled. One of the people he's actually thankful for being in Luceti for what was he doing, turning his back like that? He doesn't want to burden him make him remember whatever it is that transpired in those four years, he was always like that. Perhaps he shouldn't have asked at all--and yet Giles made it clear enough that he wanted to tell him. So he'll look back and then sigh shaking his head. ] Giles you-you have nothing to apologize for.

I was simply being far too curious, it's just...it's been three months here and four years for you. [ And you've changed and Helios can see it. But he doesn't know why and it makes him worry. ] I-I was just worried. A bit silly of me, I know, I can't help myself though.

[ He shrugs giving another sadden apology ridden smile. ]

[Giles sits up straighter, looking directly at Helios again, and his claws dig anxious furrows into the dirt. He still sounds more than a little upset when he replies, although the fact that Helios isn't leaving helps.]

Helios, you are the best friend I could ever have hoped to know. And it drives me absolutely insane that you seem to forget that sometimes.

...even so, I don't want that to change. And it's frightening, because it feels as though every word I say makes things worse. And because there isn't anything you can do to help and I know you'll try anyway.

[But it isn't fair to Helios to expect him to understand why Giles is hurting and why he feels like a ghost and why he needs Helios and Frederic so badly right now if he doesn't say.]

...but I trust you.

[ He knows the other is upset just from tone alone. He would apologize for that but other's words make it hard to. Best friend? It's been a long time since he's heard anyone say that to him. Besides Varron back in his world who else was there? ]

I'm sorry. I do forget don't I? I'm still not used to being one is all. Besides someone back home...I don't really have too many friends. [ Acquaintance is all the others were, which was fine, mutual relationships with most mythica families had categorized them as allies for certain, but it was only because of his job. Still Giles' words make a small smile etch itself across his face. ] I don't want it to change either, not at all. Even if we weren't best friend I'd still try to help but the fact stands that we are--and I can't help but try sometimes. [ Even if it is a fruitless endeavor that's just how he is with people. ]

But I'm glad you trust me...and I'm glad you at least told me this much. It's hard talking about things like this; I understand that much entirely.

[Relieved and reassured at Helios' words, Giles also smiles. His mouth is pretty wide on this body, which means that a look that would normally be hardly noticeable looks more like a grin. But he doesn't seem to mind very much, because that was pretty much what he needed to hear.]

I know you do. Th-That's...well, that's one of the reasons why I can trust you, Helios. You understand. Y-You've always seemed to be very good at it. Never understood how.

[But then Giles frowns again and stares back at the ground, and the torn ground and the scattered leaves, and he sighs.]

Helios, the reason...

[He tries to hurry his words along - can't hesitate, not now.]

...the reason I haven't said anything to Buffy, w-why she can't do anything to help, why I c-can't leave here and why I don't know whether or not we won that war...

...it's because I died.

[There. Out and said. And, no matter how much he suddenly wants to, Giles isn't flying off.]

[ Helios smiles a bit lighter now, not as tentative or worried. ] It's because we have rather a lot in common in our lives. Whether is be situations or what have you. Besides I wouldn't be a very good headmaster if I wasn't understanding!

[ The next part catches him completely off guard though. He doesn't even know how to react so he's silent for the most part. Dead? Giles was...no that, that couldn't be right. How could it have happened. ] Oh my god Giles. I-I didn't--I'm so sorry.

[ Helios is honestly not sure what to say but it must hurt to have to say to have to acknowledge that back there...in the place you called home you're no longer alive. It all makes sense now, Giles' words, they all make so much sense. ]

Of course you didn't.

[And this time, his smile is sad.]

...apart from you, no one else does.

[...Giles hates it when Helios is upset. He hates it when any of his friends are upset. And he thought he'd feel better or at least less knotted when he finally told someone, but...

...he's dead. He's honestly dead. No more dodging or ignoring the issue, he's dead and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Barring a coffin and a will, he doesn't exist anymore. His friends, the people he cares most about, the ones he died for, will all have to live their lives without him. He can't be a part of those lives anymore, and maybe that's why everything has been so difficult with Buffy.

He's just...not meant to matter to them anymore.

Giles slowly lays back down on the ground and covers his face with his paws. His voice is level when he adds:]

...it didn't hurt. [He doesn't know why, but that does seem...important, somehow. After everything Angel had done to him, a painless death was the least he owed Giles.]

[ Didn't hurt? ] Don't. [ It's not that he doesn't want to hear it. He's glad it wasn't painful--no he doesn't even want to think about it at all. People he's close to dying...it's such a weak spot for him. Elise's death it was so painful, it was his fault and he couldn't save her. Knowing this now he couldn't save Giles either. His face might be pale and he might be shaking just a little. It reminds him of all his shortcomings and faults because while he knows it was out of his power to do so, however it still makes him realize how powerless he is to keeping those close to him safe. He didn't deserve this...he didn't deserve to go back to that.

Helios honestly doesn't care if the other feels his skin he'll be giving Giles a well needed hug, embrace, what have you. It's probably awkward because Giles is a dragon obviously but also because Helios hasn't touched anyone in three years. He could break that for the other if only for just a moment. It's the only thing he can think of doing as well. Only thing that might help ease the situation or pain. He might pull away a slightly warm smile on his features. ]

We-we just need to make your time here as enjoyable as possible. [ As much as Luceti will allow. ]

[Helios' skin is cold - startlingly so. But maybe that's just because he's a dragon, maybe dragons don't register body heat the same way humans do. Maybe he stayed inside too long with the air conditioner running. Maybe there were ice cubes involved.

Giles honestly does not care. He just cares that here is a real sign of affection from one of his friends after so long feeling so isolated. He just cares that there's one person now around whom he can stop lying and try for coping.

He just cares that he's not the right shape to return the hug.

But he leans into it as gently as he can, letting his head press softly against Helios' shoulder, trying without words to let his friend know just how much Giles appreciates him being there at that moment. And he meets Helios' gaze when he pulls away and the look in his eyes is at least less troubled and shadowed than it has been over the last several days or even over the last month, the smile on his face less forced.]

Yes, I...suppose we will. It is traditional, after all.

[He can't hope for his life back, but Giles wonders if maybe he can hope for that, at least. Something better for a while.]

Thank you, Helios.

Very traditional. I suppose we do like keeping up with those don't we? [ Helios shakes his head smiling a little. ]

There's no need for that. [ He might not be able to do much but at least making Giles' time here better perhaps even getting his mind off of this would be a nice welcomed change. If anything he deserve at least that much to Helios. ]

Yes, there is.

[Said with the utmost seriousness. Because this isn't the end of it, this won't be the last time that Giles will need Helios' help like this. He knows his own mind and how it can betray him. Best that he get started on the gratitude now - god knows, Helios has earned it.

But he gets back to his feet and stretches without saying another word about it.]

We are very traditional people, aren't we? But I've never seen that there was anything wrong with that.

...so we should probably start with the bakery, then.

Not at all. [ Helios will stand straight looking out towards the direction of the town. That...that gets his eyes to light up a bit. ] I was just about to ask if you were hungry. I think a visit is definately in order. Can never go wrong with a visit to the bakery.

[ Your sweet tooth is showing again Helios. ]

We certainly never have. [Giles may have short and stubby legs right now, but he also has four of them. So he and Helios keep pace easily enough.] I think Buffy would call this our "system".

It's a very nice way to get people together at least. Traditions and sweets I mean. Maybe not sweets for everyone but never know till you try. [ Helios will look down at the other eyebrow raised a little. His hand will go to his chin as he thinks about that. ] What a strange thing to call it. [ He was thinking more along the lines of coping mechanism maybe? But system sounds better. ] I suppose it does work though.

One of us is turned into a dragon, and then we have cake. There are stranger traditions here.

[It's totally a coping mechanism. Especially for Giles, especially now. It's just shifted from donuts to cake, and he doesn't like the idea of needing a coping mechanism.]

Buffy has a very strange was of speaking, sometimes.

[ Helios laughs and it's a genuine laugh at that. ] I'm not so sure. That is rather strange especially since neither of us is a shape-shifters or a dragon.

I find that my students do as well.

The experiments. Those are an utterly bizarre tradition. Although I suppose they could hardly be called a tradition, considering that there's almost no rhyme or reason from month to month.

[He grins, and it's a genuine expression as well.] I've always suspected it was some sort of code. It did sometimes seem that way, back when Buffy and the others were in high school.

Very true. I suspect the tradition is held with the Malnosso for those though. [ Siigh. ] This one doesn't seem so bad though! How have you found flying? I thought it was rather exhilarating when I finally got it down. Breathing fire was...um interesting too.

You might be on to something Giles. [ Frown. ] A code for ways to get out of class! [ Totally not saying this seriously. ]

That wasn't just exclusive to Buffy, Willow, and Xander, back home. The four of us together could think of any excuse you cared to name to get Buffy out of class. [Totally saying this seriously. Also, happy memories. Hope you don't mind the sharing, Helios, but it's the first time happy memories haven't seemed horrendously twisted.]

I have managed to fly. [Hasn't managed to land yet, but he's managed to fly.] Just around the village so far, but it is wonderful. The breathing fire, though...I keep thinking that I should be able to, but I don't know how yet.

[ Helios doesn't mind at all. In fact he might be grinning. ] Oh my I never considered you to be one to do such things, Giles. [ You learn something new everyday. And you did blow up the school. ]

It really is wonderful now that there's an ocean; the view from the sky must be amazing. Perhaps you're a species of dragon that can't breath fire? I've never seen your type before so I haven't a clue! Experimenting is the only way it seems.

I'll let you know as soon as I can make it out that far. But even the view of the village is wonderful. And I never realized how absolutely enormous the forest was - I can't imagine how anyone could make it through without getting utterly lost.

I think I can breathe fire. Well...this may sound very strange, but I feel as though I should be able to. I just haven't found the right switches yet.

I still wonder myself. The river helps somewhat but still the forest has always seemed...daunting in its grandeur and overall size.

It took me a rather long time as well to figure it out. A deep intake of breath and then slight concentration and then exhale, like a sigh. [ He'll pause momentarily tapping his chin in thought. ]

Though it might be different for each species.

New Species Event - Mass Interaction Log

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