lucetilogs | Post-Event Reaction Log!

[When Ling woke up that morning, he laid in bed for awhile, at first staring at the ceiling before draping his arm over his eyes, blocking out the sunlight peeking through the window.

He had another life in his mind now. With a guy that he realized he only barely knew now. He had that same drive and determination to help his people. Something that would apparently never change for him. It was strange to think, that even in another life, he couldn't escape his destiny. That drive. The sacrifice of living his life for his people and not for himself.

Yet, now it felt empty. It was a life without those that mattered most to him. Without his clan... without his grandfather, his mother, or Fu and Ran Fan.

Ran Fan.

He could remember it so clearly now. That kiss. That simple, playful kiss. It had meant so little to him at the time. Just a game. Something he might try and pull with any pretty girl that caught his eye. But it wasn't simple now. This was the girl he grew up with. The girl who had dedicated her life to see his destiny fulfilled. The girl who cut off her own arm and lost her grandfather in seeing her duty done. The girl, Ling realized, that he cared for more than he knew he was supposed to.

He wished he could take it back. Or maybe... maybe redo it. As the real Ling. So he would know what it was actually like, instead of just a shallow impression from another life.

But that wasn't his destiny. So resolved, he rose to a new day, as Ling Yao the future Emperor of Xing. When he didn't spot her in the house, he headed to the kitchen instead, finding an empty counter to sit on, and wearing that fake facade of a smile that he always used as a mask.

Just like the one Ran Fan was wearing. How could he insist she remove hers when he never removed his?]

Breakfast smells good. I can't wait.

[Business as usual.]

[Just thinking about that day sent shivers down Ran Fan's spine. And when she shut her eyes, she could almost remember how his lips felt against her's.

There was a part of her that wished she made the kiss last longer, wanting to know what it would be like to really kiss Ling. Their short kiss was enough to last her a lifetime, but it left her wanting more too. She was just being greedy though, which was rather ironic once she thought about it.

Thinking about really kissing Ling brought her back to reality though, leaving the dream world where her and Ling could be together behind. She was his bodyguard, nothing more. He would marry someone else and be a great emperor, and Ran Fan will be forever by his side.

Yes, that was enough for her. She didn't need anything else in her life, only knowing he was safe.

Amazingly enough, she was too deep in her thoughts to even realize that Ling had entered the room. She was too focused on mentally punishing herself for wanting to kiss him again. But, it was a good thing he did come in. The eggs were clearly done, any longer and they'd be burnt.]

It... uh...

[She looked back at him, noticing the clear change of outfit. Her prince was back to normal. That made her smile. She didn't want to deal with the other Ling anymore.

Then she realized that she was spending far too long looking at him and smiling, so she quickly turned away and plated his omelette. She bow slightly as she handed him the plate, unable to speak another word. She had done enough to embarrass herself.]

[He slipped off the counter so that he could take the plate, holding it steady in front of him as he stared at the omelet a little longer than needed. This wasn't going to be easy, he realized. Ran Fan was in her mask, just for something as simple as cooking. She couldn't even speak to him. He didn't have it in him to make her speak to him.

Maybe it would be better to leave well enough alone. She knew her duty, he knew his. There was little reason to entertain any other ideas.

Finally, he nodded as he lowered the plate in front of him.]

Thank you. I looks good.

[A table was nearby, so he turned away from her as he made his way towards it.]

[She only nods in return and goes back to making breakfast for herself. There really wasn't much she could say, but the worry did grow. He wasn't acting the same either. Clearly she crossed a line with him and probably ruined the relationship they had, which was the last thing she wanted.

All she wanted to do was hide in shame, but she couldn't. She had to be there for Ling, to protect him. If her grandfather... no. It was all up to her now. She couldn't rely on him anymore. This was her mistake, and now she had to fix it.

While lost in thought though, her own omelette started to burn. Not just a little bit, but the whole bottom of it was black, smoke rising from the pan. She let out a gasp of surprise and quickly went to turn off the stove and get the egg off the burner.

She looked at her eggs and sighed. There goes her breakfast this morning. That's what she gets for being too caught up in her own thoughts instead of paying attention to the task at hand.]

[He lacked his usual voracious appetite, having only cut off a single piece to eat so far. When he smells the burning egg, he looks up, surprised to see she had burned it.

He started to separate his plate into two halves.]

Here. You can have half of mine.

[His offer surprised her, but she shook her head.]

No. I'm not hungry anyway.

[She is, but she doesn't want to share with Ling. Actually she doesn't even want to be in the same room with him at the time being.]

And I made it for you. Please eat, my lord.

[After everything, he decided it best not to press the issue. If Ran Fan got hungry, there were other places she could find food. So best to let it lie.]

Very well. Be sure to find something later, then.

Yes. Would you like a cup of tea as well?

[She really didn't know what else to say, but she couldn't just leave him completely alone.]

[A head shake.]

I'm fine. Thank you.

Ah... Yes, of course.

[She was about to walk away, but instead she slips off her mask, setting it down on the table before him. She didn't want to say it, but she felt that it would be best if she left his side for the time being. If she couldn't get over her feelings for him, then she could never be a proper bodyguard for him.]

[... she took her mask off. Maybe it was going to be okay, then. He starts to smile.]

I'm glad you're here, Ran Fan. You're the one person I know I will always be able to count on.

No, I'm not. [She bows her head.] You deserve a better bodyguard. I'm sorry.

[There is no chance for him to ponder on that, reflect, think of a way to make it better. His reaction is quick and sharp.]

Don't you dare say that, Ran Fan.

I have no right to be your bodyguard. If I cannot control my feelings-- You should not have some as weak as I am.

[He stood up abruptly when it was clear she was determined about this. It wasn't that he was angry at her, far from it. He was furious that Luceti had driven her to the point to think this was the case. He did nothing to hide it.]

That's crap and you know it. I'm the weak one, remember? You've always known what it took to see things through to the end. Even when it cost you your arm. Even when it cost you your grandfather. I almost lost it when we lost Fu, but you were strong enough to keep going. You put yourself in danger again just to make sure I could keep moving forward. You even fought in that automail long before you should have been able to. How can you possibly think that you're weak after all that? What would Fu think if he heard that kind of talk? He'd never stand for it.

[In fact, Fu would probably smack her right then and there. Ling wouldn't. He could never strike her. He had only his words to drive sense into her.]

[Tears filled her eyes.] That... [Crap. She can't say why. It meant admitting her feelings for him.]

He wouldn't stand how I am now. He'd want me to leave now and come back when I'm able to be the bodyguard you deserve, but he isn't here, so I'm doing the right thing. I won't be gone for long.

[Damn. Maybe there isn't any getting through to her. He closes his eyes, crossing his arms. What is he supposed to do? Demand she stay? He has always accepted her loyalty, but has never demanded it.]

You should know that anything I said or did the past week was not the real me. I don't hold you at fault for anything. [Such as the comment about not needing her.]

It isn't about what you did. [She turns away, feeling her face heat up from blushing.]

I don't hold you responsible for what you did either. You kept up the end of a bet you made. That's all. It was... a kiss. Nothing more than that. It didn't mean anything.

[She couldn't hold it back anymore. The tears flowed from her eyes.]

It did. [Quickly, she covers her face with her hands.]

[... not the response he was expecting.]

... Ran Fan?

[She drops her hands, looking away from him.]

I'm sorry. I... I haven't been honest with you, my lord.

[... he thinks he knows where this is going. He didn't ever imagine she might feel that way, but hearing it for himself... that temptation could be his undoing. So. He inhales. He exhales. And then he sits back down.]

If you think you need to prepare more, then you may do so. I won't stop you.

[He doesn't want her to go. But. It's better she move on. For both their sakes. For Xing's sake.]

Obi-Wan is going to teach me how to rid myself of emotions. [Not all, but the only emotion she cares about right now.] I'm sorry I have failed you, but I promise that when I return I will be someone both you and my grandfather will be proud of.

[She bowed, still crying. Even though she shouldn't care, his reply was a bit of a rejection. This was how it was supposed to be though, and she needed to accept that.]

[... get rid of her emotions. Is that something he wants to happen to her? He's torn.

He bows his head, not able to bring himself to look at her.]

You've never failed me. But if this is something you think you need, you have my leave.

Post-Event Reaction Log!

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