Post-Event Reaction Log!

[lucetimods]

Who: Everybody
What: Post-Event Reactions
When: Today (and tomorrow too)
Where: Anywhere
Summary: Most of Luceti was back to their normal selves. Not only that, but they now remembered their trips to other worlds. So how 'bout that?
Rating: Whatever

This is for today and tomorrow, since not everyone will be fully reverted until then. Remember to tag your characters in!

Comments

[i_speak_softly]

[Don is familiar with this reflex. From his upbringing, Robert refuses to see the difference. Maybe the knowledge really doesn't even make it into his consciousness. But on some level, he has to recognize it.]

[Don pokes a finger in Robert's direction and spells it out for him.]

I. Am not. Human. I am not at all human. Most people think I'm kind of a freak and almost everyone thinks this - [He stirs his finger in the air, indicating their relationship.] - is disgusting and perverted. I don't really care, because I love you, obliviousness and all. But they're not entirely wrong.

[He stops there, waiting for the fallout.]

[semper_cogitans]

[There are several long seconds of dead silence, during which Robert quietly stares, not-quite-seeing, at Don.

He picks through the memories in his mind, the memories that clash with the things he knows are real and true to him, by Terran standards - years and years of another world that he simultaneously feels drawn to and repelled by -

- What does he say to that?]

No. No, you are... n-not a human.

But why... why do you have to be...? Why does that make you... less? Why does that make you... different?

Why does that make this wrong? [There's an edge of almost-desperation in Robert's voice, as if the mere fact that some kind of justification for what he views as a bigoted, hateful feeling could possibly exist is a horror that needs to be immediately excised.

Slumping, Robert continues, in a much quieter tone:]

I love you for... wh-who you are...

[Never mind that for a week he remembers the shame at the twisted feelings, at knowing that loving a Pokémon - or even someone like one - was wrong.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don slumps too. He just broke his partner. He can only hope it makes him stronger in the end.]

[More quietly:] Different isn't a mathematical operator. Two plus two and ten minus six both resolve to four, but that doesn't make them the same equation. Which one is better depends on what problem you're trying to solve.

[He pauses, thinking through the analogy.]

Some people only see one problem. You... only see one solution. You don't know who I am.

[That one is going to hurt Robert further, but... tactical strikes. Worsening the wound, so it will heal right.]

[semper_cogitans]

[He's right; it does hurt, unimaginably. Robert crumples inward.]

Then... who are you...?

[And by extension, who was he in love with for a year and a half?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don watches Robert for a moment, then turns suddenly. In one flash a shuriken has appeared in his hand; in the next it's pinned a falling leaf to a tree.]

Largely that.

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert closes his eyes a moment after, exhaling slowly.

Just as softly as before:]


... Did you... w-want me to be a part of that...?

You never seemed to... care b-before... [Was this always important to Don? Why didn't Don tell him?

Don knows he can't understand unless he's told, at point blank...]

[i_speak_softly]

I want you to accept it. I've been waiting for you to be ready...

[But progress has been so slow.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert's voice is almost hurt-sounding when he responds.]

You gave... little indication that it mattered before...

And, and this still does not make you something other; it does not make you... not a person.

...

[Lowly:] I... have a-always tried my best to accept any differences we have... does this mean I have... f-failed?

[i_speak_softly]

[Robert, you're breaking his heart. If you couldn't even identify ninjutsu as something important to Don, you really don't know him.]

No.

[Short. Terse. They need to talk more about this, but he doesn't want to say anything without thinking it through.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Don has done a spectacularly good job of covering up how much it specifically matters, or at least in making it seem as such. And Robert does know it's something notable in Don's life... but what has he ever seen but the side that loves science, that would rather be tinkering in his lab with his machines?

Robert doesn't trust that reaction. He doesn't trust anything right now, not even his own thoughts and feelings.

Stuck in the middle of two distinct mindsets, embroiled in confused emotion and unable to express it through any other thing, Robert simply stands there, cringes away from Don, and cries.

He brings a hand up almost immediately to catch the tears, but he doesn't do anything to hide it, despite the event-instilled part of him that feels - still - like he should.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don hates himself so much right now. He slumps back against the wall of the house, covers his face, and cries a little too.]

[semper_cogitans]

[A few seconds pass this way, them both faced away from each other, weeping softly into their hands. They tick by to the sounds of ragged, wet breathing, of desperate attempt to control emotion.

Robert finally regains his composure enough to sob once, push his glasses up a little to wipe his eyes on the back of his hand, and then take one shuddering breath.]

... D-Don...

... a-a-am I... truly good for you, if... if th-this is... wrong to your p-perspective...?

Do you w-want this...? Do you want... me?

[The last person who said "You don't know me" left him.

And that was five years ago.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don keeps his eyes covered. If he looks, he won't be able to say what needs to be said.]

Robert, there is no right for me. This is the best I get. Are you okay with that?

[semper_cogitans]

[Softly:] A-All I want is... for you to be h-happy...

And, if... if I am... f-failing to make you happy, then... [Then he's not doing a good enough job.]

I do not w-want to fail you, Don... I l-love you...

[i_speak_softly]

[Don looks now, trying to meet Robert's gaze. He wants the man to know how true this is.]

You make me so happy, you've raised my standards of happy to levels I wouldn't have even imagined two years ago. You didn't fail; you graduated.

[semper_cogitans]

[This is slightly reassuring; despite this, though, Robert's smile is... broken-edged.]

B-But... then this... it is c-clearly a problem...

[Is it an insurmountable one?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don hugs himself, but doesn't look away.]

I've been keeping things from you, and I'm sorry. I know they'll be hard for you to understand, but... it's wrong of me to not even give you a chance.

[He studies Robert's expression.]

I want you to know everything. It's my own fault that you don't already.

[semper_cogitans]

[... oh. That... that would explain things, then.

Robert visibly deflates, but he nods, tersely.]

... I... I have c-come to... accept many things here that... I w-would not have accepted before, Don...

... I will... at least listen. I owe you... that much.

[And though he wants to cling to his Terran mannerisms - or, what is left of them - especially hard after this experiment...]

... Perhaps... we should b-both share more of ourselves...

[i_speak_softly]

[... It's going to be okay.]

[Don moves over to the tree, pries his shuriken out of it with a practiced twist, and vanishes the projectile back into his elbow pad.]

Do you know how much you've changed, since I met you?

[He was shaken by how much he'd moved on from his own former life, and Robert didn't get that first-hand comparison.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert shakes his head a little; with a twinge of regret and shame - if he doesn't know Don entirely now, he certainly can't say that he knows what Don was like before.]

... if... this p-place changed you as much as it... changed me...

[i_speak_softly]

[Don leans back against the tree, and looks up through the branches with their new leaves.]

It hurt. Being home.

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert looks up too, more out of reflex than anything. The air feels cold on his still-wet cheeks.]

... It... hurt...?

... Why?

[i_speak_softly]

[Still looking thoughtfully at the sky:]

I was injured and starving and this - [He jerks a thumb over his shoulder at his carapace.] - was a mess and I had never realized how bad it felt. It was dark and the refrigerator was empty and everything I owned had been salvaged from the garbage and I couldn't go outside. April called and she's an amazing person but she'll never see me the way you do. I thought I knew why but... now I'm afraid it's something else.

[He'll stop there; it seems like enough.]

[semper_cogitans]

[...

... What does Robert say to that?

He's silent for a few long seconds, like heartbeats.

He knew Don's life had been hard, before. That he'd been in poverty; that he'd been isolated and alone, separate from so many things Robert had taken for granted growing up. That even most people take for granted...

... But to have it spelled out like that, in such bleak, frank words, really hits home.]

... Don, I... [What can he say to that?]

[i_speak_softly]

[He tips his head to the side, to see Robert's reaction.]

That's some of what I wanted you to know. About my life before Luceti.