lucetilogs | I've been chillin' out on a star with my 5 star view

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I've been chillin' out on a star with my 5 star view

Who: All draftees
What: The space battle commences
When: After 3PM on the 19th to the 23rd
Where: In Space! On the Moon!
Summary: The battle finally begins! First there's asteroids to take down, then we finally arrive!
Rating: SPACE

MORE SPACE

All the details you need are here, so read up on it. This didn't get mentioned before, but you can tag the cultists instead of killing them. Details on this are on a previous draft post. Using the scanners are optional!

There will be a thread for interacting with NPCs, but they may not all go up at once, so keep an eye out for them.

Note: A log for the events in the village will go up on the 21st, in time for the hurricane and droid incursion.

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You... you remember when we were talking about chakras? Those chakra things are what Guru Pathik taught me when I trained with him at the Eastern Air Temple. Unlocking all of my chakras can let me use the Avatar State at will and have control over it. The only time I tried it was... was in the catacombs, when I was desperate. And... and you know know how that ended. [Pause] But I think I have to try again.

[She remembers. She remembers Aang moving to seclude herself and momentarily leaving her alone. She remembers him coming out in the Avatar State, how relieved she was, how proud was - he'd found a way to master it and everything was going to be okay. Nothing could stop him like that, and if he was in control, then they could take out Azula and Zuko and save the city, and everything would be all right.

But it wasn't. It was the farthest thing from all right.

She remembers. It would be impossible to forget the pain and terror and grief she felt, watching him fall, making it there just in time to catch him. She had been so scared, so lost, and so scared that he wasn't coming back, and that hope was gone with him.

But she remembers something else too. "Those chakra things."]

I remember. You said something about... forgetting all earthly attachments?

["The only way is to let her go."]

Yeah, that's... the final chakra. I've had trouble with that one. All of the other ones... some of them weren't easy, but I was letting go of negative feelings. When I unlocked those chakras, I felt relief. [And when he thinks of all the stress overwhelming him now, that relief feels welcoming.] But with the last chakra... it's giving up something that could be positive. Something that you want to hold onto. I couldn't see how love was a bad thing.

[Her brows come together, not fully seeing the connection between "love" and being "in love." She hears love and thinks love in general, love of friends, love of family, love of the world...]

It's not. Love is the best connection that we have in this world.

[His heart skips a beat, but he makes himself keep his head on the conversation. He's longer in eye contact, drifting his eyes towards the floor.]

I... I thought something like that, myself. ["How is it a bad thing that I feel an attachment to her? Three chakras ago, that was a good thing."] But today helped me to finally realize how it could be bad, to... to be emotionally attached to a person. Now I'm starting to think that this kind of love can make it easier to become emotionally imbalanced and slip into the Avatar State. And this place makes getting angry on your behalf too easy, with all of the horrible things they do and make us do.

[A person.... your behalf...

Wait.

Was this about... me?

All that was holding him back from achieving control of the Avatar State was his feeling for... me?

Suddenly, the way he removed himself in the catacombs took on a whole new meaning.]

[She can't bring herself to ask, to confirm it. The words are right there, but she can't make herself do it.]

Oh.

[She looks down, her emotions and thoughts in a whirlwind. She just needs a moment to process this, okay?]

[He looks at her in concern and realizes that... she might not know. He didn't exactly tell her, after all. Well... he tried to give her the idea in different words, back then. "You're everything I love about the earth in one person."

But he could see that... she might be processing it now. So he just looks at her.]

Katara...

[She holds up a hand without looking up, because really - she needs a minute.

She doesn't love him like that.

He's not just a friend. He's much more than that. She doesn't know what he is, she's never had to try to put a name on it before - he's Aang.

She doesn't think of him like That. Though he's as tall as she is now, there are still many ways in which she looks at him like a little boy who she needs to take care of, guide, and encourage. He's not...

"Well... what if we kissed?"
"Us, kissing?"
"See? It was a crazy idea."

...she could recall everything amount that moment, even though she hadn't thought about it in so long, and somehow in the middle of this maelstrom of emotion and confusion, that shy, giddy anticipation of... something manages to briefly assert itself.

She shook her head minutely - this wasn't the time to be thinking like that, feeling like that. She had to be logical. What was a little fluttery feeling compared to what he was talking about? Nothing, less than nothing.

She wasn't being fair.

She thought of Masaomi and shut her eyes, her heart sinking.

No, if giving up his love for her meant that he could control the Avatar State, then maybe... maybe it would be less hurtful for Aang if he did that. But.

But if it was his love for her that helped form this connection between them that she couldn't completely name, couldn't completely face or understand, then... did she really want to risk losing that? And if his connection to her was what kept him back, what brought him back when he was in the Avatar State, what held him to the world...

She lowers her hand and continues to look down, and when she speaks, her voice is low.]

No, I don't think you were wrong.

[He looks on hesitantly.]

Wrong to... to question giving that up?

[She nods.]

The Avatar isn't a spirit. He or she is human. And if you give up what you love, you run the risk of losing what makes you human.

[She dares to look at him now with shadowed eyes.]

It's when you're in the Avatar State that you're completely disconnected from the world, Aang. I know that's what the monks taught, but I think it had to be... different, somehow. Because it's when you're in the Avatar State that you do the things you most regret.

Edited 2012-07-03 05:10 (UTC)

I... I understand that, Katara. But I don't know what I'll be like if I tried it. The one time I did try, it... was too quick for it to tell. But... I have to still be human in some way, after I do it. The Guru was nice. He would have warned me if it would have made me do bad things.

And it's the only way I can think of to stop the Avatar State from getting more dangerous. If I'm in control, I can do things I'll be proud of, instead of those other things. And maybe I can really make a difference here. [Pause. He forces himself to meet Katara's eyes.] I'll risk part of myself if it helps all of you.

[That just ticks her off. Risk part of himself - ha!]

The Guru had lived by himself on a mountain top for how many years? He might have been nice, but what does he know about life? You're not supposed to go and live on a mountaintop, Aang, you're supposed to bring balance to the world! How can you do that if you're not a part of it?

Edited 2012-07-03 05:24 (UTC)

I don't know if he lived on a mountain his whole life! [He was really old.] And I'd... I don't know! I don't know what I'd do, where I'd live, but... I don't know what else I'm supposed to do, Katara!

[He slumps downward in the bed and covers his face with his pillow to try to calm himself down.]

[Her eyes squeeze shut tightly for a moment and she resists the urge to shout - I don't know either! But family doesn't run away.

He needs to be handled more gently than that.]

You don't give up. You hold on. You let us be there with you, Aang.

[She takes a deep breath.]

When everybody gets back, you should talk with Roku about the Avatar State. Maybe there's something he learned in his training that's different than what the Guru was trying to teach you.

[She moved forward then and placed her hand on his shoulder.]

I know that you're just trying to do what's right. And I know that you're scared. And - what he was telling you to do probably would have worked. But I can't believe that giving up all your feelings of love is the only way to control the Avatar State. I can't believe that it would be such a terrible burden on you, and that it would be so that you'd have to face it alone. I just can't.

[And I don't want to lose you.

...

She whispered it:] And I don't want to lose you.

Edited 2012-07-03 05:42 (UTC)

[He listened quietly, and one he felt her touch, he removed the pillow to look up at her. Aang had always wondered what she'd think about the chakras. He always hoped that she'd agree with what he thought was a selfish decision to hold onto his feelings for her. But now he was hearing it in her own words, and he felt those thoughts crumbling apart. He spoke softly.]

I'll... I'll talk to Roku. And I'll see what my options are. [He breathes shallowly for a moment as he considers her whisper, and he pulls himself up to try to hug her.] I don't want to lose you either, Katara. That's why... why this is so big and so scary. I'm afraid that... either way I choose, I could still end up losing you in some way.

I'm sorry you had to find out this way, that you're my earthly attachment. But... I thought that if I did wind up trying... you have a right to know.

[She closes her eyes and hugs him back, doing her best to just live in this moment and not worry about all the complications and connotations and... oh, how much was she hurting him by not feeling the same way? What was wrong with her that she could be like this, not only to him but to Masaomi as well? Why couldn't this be simple?]

If you do wind up trying, I don't want you to do it without talking to me first. Promise me.

[He realizes how fake all those hugs in the dream world felt, just from how real and how full of warmth this one was. This was Katara. He couldn't give her up. But he couldn't hide in her arms forever, either.]

I promise, Katara. [A promise is a promise.] I... I definitely won't try anything before your birthday. I owe it to you to care about you as much as possible when that day comes.

[Inexplicably, that makes her angry enough to pull away.]

You don't owe me that. If you owe me anything, it's to be yourself. That's all. Just be Aang.

[Of course, she has always wanted him to be the best parts of himself. The Aang that won't run away. The Aang that will step up between feuding tribes and make peace. The Aang that she believes can save the world.

Because to her, that's who he is.]

I'm trying, Katara. I just... can't get much done in this place, as just me. But... I'm gonna try to be more responsible. [He looks towards a shadowy corner of the room, clutching his knees.] I'll tell Zuko about the promise. That's all I can think of now.

[Katara makes a mental note on her calender to speak with Zuko in the immediate future. He's just going to love hearing about that. But she understands why Aang would feel like he has to tell him.]

All right.

[She stands to go and then - pauses, looking back at him.]

But Aang? I think you're wrong about that. All the elemental power in the world can't do a thing when they can just Shift and take our bending away. I don't think power is what's going to get us through this. But we will get through it - if we stick together, if we're there for each other when we need each other.

[To comfort. To protect. To make laugh. To encourage each other to hold on.]

And that's something only you can do.

[A pause as he lays on his side, looking straight at Katara.]

Thank you, Katara. I promise you I'm going to give this as much thought as I can before I make a decision. And you'll know. Because I trust you, too.

[But he knows that, even if it can be Shifted away sometimes, the power of the Avatar State will always be there, within him, whether he can control it or not.]

I know you do.

[She reaches out to tuck the thin blanket around him.]

Try to get some rest.

23rd

savedtheworld - 2012-07-04 04:55 (UTC) - Expand

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I've been chillin' out on a star with my 5 star view

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