EVENT LOG: ON TODAY'S EPISODE...

[lucetimods]

Who: Everyone and everyone's evil twin.
What: Drama! Romance! Gripping soliloquies! Otherwise known as our SOAP OPERA EVENT.
When: April 26th - April 30th
Where: All 'round town and coming to a TV guide near you.
Summary: For more information, see this post.
Rating: Keep it PGish! Take anything too raunchy to your appointments posts, darlings.

Log for any and all events around town during the event. But also feel free to do your own posts as well! And yes, this will be the only mass log for the whole weekend.

HAVE FUN.

Comments

I choose all the signs! All of them!

[paladinlost]

You're wrong, Kain.

[Here comes the voice of sanity, with his manly hair and manly looks and manly armor and manly manskirt and- aaaaaargh my eyes.]

I always knew that you were having an intense love affair with your dragon, that you were secretly a beautiful maiden and that you killed my father in a tragic yet amusing time-travelling accident, but you are not my father.

[Hopefully not, considering the first three points.]

You are...

YAAAAAY EXCELLENT XD

[dragoon_pride]

I am your father's second cousin-in-law twice removed's sister, I believe.

[Kain sighs heavily.]

I thought I hid most of it well all of this time, especially the truth about... my womanhood. I don't know how I'll tell Rydia.

[Tears fall from his eyes as he thinks about that, she probably will want a divorce considering he's been living a lie all this time.]

[paladinlost]

Father's second cousin-in-law thrice removed's ex-husband's sister, actually. You'd think Golbez would have mentioned it at some point.

[Really rude of him not to do so, he must say.]

Don't be ridiculous; she must have figured it out by now. You've been living together for years, sleeping in the same bed. Unless you've somehow managed to... fake...

[No, he cannot have those thoughts! Rosa would never forgive him! ...Besides, that's way much more than he'd like to know about anyone's sex life, thank you.]

[dragoon_pride]

There are ways of faking everything, Cecil. EVERYTHING.

[Bawww whatever is he going to do? It's dreadfully upsetting. He shakes his head, trying to clear his eyes.]

Anyway, I'm certain that's not right, what you've said. I think I'm actually related to your uncle's cousin's twin's fourth wife. A dancing girl in town, I believe.

[That's how he can poledance so well really.]

[paladinlost]

...Heavens help me, if you try to say you're not a true blond or dragoon I'll knock you out and tell Rydia to deal with it.

[He might be affected by this experiment, but there are limits to everything.]

The one with the blue veil and the shaking hips- No, no, that's not it. My grand-uncle's maternal grandmother's nephew's lover's ex-husband married into your family at some point, I'm quite sure of that.

[dragoon_pride]

[At least this strange experiment won't make him deny the dragoon thing... may want to be wary of the blond thing coming into dispute later. For now though...]

That cannot be absolutely right. It was your grand-uncle's PATERNAL grandmother's nephew's lover's ex-husband's stepson's mother-in-law's brother who was of relation, I'm sure of it.

[paladinlost]

[Excuse you, Cecil is the only fake blond allowed today!]

No, no, my grand-uncle's paternal grandmother's nephew's lover's ex-husband's stepson's mother-in-law's brother was the innkeeper's cousin, do you not remember? The two of you never were related, as far as I know.

[dragoon_pride]

[Oh. Ok, then, Kain will just very suddenly and randomly be in this little green leotard MANLY OUTFIT. Kind of looks like he raided Rydia's closet and throw whatever on, in the dark.]

No, your grand-uncle's paternal grandmother's nephew's lover's ex-husband's stepson's mother-in-law's brother's aunt's daughter's HUSBAND was the inkeeper's cousin. I'm sure of it. Your grand-uncle's paternal grandmother's nephew's lover's ex-husband's stepson's mother-in-law's brother trained chocobos, I believe. He disappeared mysteriously though, something about money owed on a racing bet.

[paladinlost]

Ah, that's right, they've still not found more than his left pinky finger- WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO YOUR CLOTHES?

[Even figuring out their very complicated yet fascinating family tree is nothing when faced with this, this... There are no words for it.]

[dragoon_pride]

[Kain gives Cecil a Look, really, man, what is your prob- OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THIS. He just has a moment to glance at himself and then back up. Clearly it's time for an actor swap ok, nothing to be alarmed over. Maybe.]

You shouldn't insult the traditional armor of the dragoons.

[paladinlost]

The traditional armor of the dragoons does not look like it came out of a dark, washed out part of Rydia's closet!

[And even saying that feels like he's insulting Rydia in three different ways.]

[dragoon_pride]

It surely doesn't look THAT bad.

[Except that it really and truly does.]

[paladinlost]

It does. It truly, truly does.

[Not even a second of hesitation. Nothing but pure brutal truth there.]

[dragoon_pride]

[Kain looks grumpy overall.]

Why must everyone always insult my fashion sense?

[paladinlost]

Because it's terrible.

[He thinks about it for a few seconds.]

...But in this case, I don't quite think it's yours.

[dragoon_pride]

Are you certain? I happen to think this is entirely appropriate fashion... traditional, as I said.

[It's so MANLY.]

[paladinlost]

[He sighs in despair.]

I will kindly not remind you of those words once this experiment is over. Appreciate it.

[dragoon_pride]

You seem so sure of that, Cecil. What of your... alteration in appearance.

[paladinlost]

[And suddenly there is a Cecil only centimetres away from Kain's face.]

We do not mention it, for it is not happening.

[...Someone decided that denial was the best course of action a few hours ago.]

[dragoon_pride]

[Ah, alas for being in such deep denial. Kain sighs.]

If you're absolutely certain about that, Cecil. But then it hardly seems fair to insult my traditional dragoon armor as well...

[paladinlost]

Your 'traditional' armor is acknowledged, and therefore subject to criticism. This terrible skirt is not, and therefore we do not speak of it.

[It's for his own sanity, please.]

[dragoon_pride]

I'm acknowledging it now.

[Kain stares at it closely, as if in disbelief of what he's seeing.]

[paladinlost]

I'm not, which means it does not exist until it goes away.

[Same thing with the hair.]

[dragoon_pride]

If you insist...

[It'll no doubt turn out like all experiments- they shall not speak of this again.]

[paladinlost]

I do, truly. Please.

[Until they get really drunk and argue about who looked the worst.]