School Log!

[wise_maiden]

Who: OPEN! Anyone! Teachers, Students, anyone dropping in for the open classes, anyone at the battledome (from about 1-3 pm), newcomers with questions, etc!
What: Catchall school days
When: March! (You can vary the dates if you'd like, if you want something from last week or on the 17th and onward, it's fairly open there.)
(Classes run from 9 AM-roughly 2:30 PM, and the log can include before and after-school activities)
Where: School / Battle Dome
Summary: It's been a quiet few weeks in Luceti, but school is still in session!
Rating: A+



[For some sense of guidelines:

- Anyone joining for the first time is allowed to poke around and ask questions and (possibly) take or have handwaved taking a test so they can join in immediately!

- The playground is open for after school or lunch break interactions. The cafeteria is also open. Also, random classrooms are available for students wanting to use it for private tutoring/study hall sessions/club meetings whatnot.

- World Sharing and Magic lessons are held at the battle dome, so non-attendees can observe if they like.

- You're not limited to the headers! Just do what you want--these are just some suggestions as to what's going on, but they aren't the be-all-and-end-all of what can be played with! Chat with each other, set up things! It's meant to be for CR!]


As always, please add your character to the roster here and update if there are any changes! Also, students/magic class participants, please respond here when you have a chance! Thank you!

Comments

[untrueheart]

[Though Rue did not kill Mytho, turning him into a giant crow servant of the Raven was as good as. No amount of pity he might feel for her could change how dangerous her love was, how all an ugly worthless girl like her could do was hurt people.]

I was...going to do something that might have killed him. To- to free him from growing any worse, any more cruel and selfish and dangerous. ...It can't be undone, the things I did and said.

[selfhelp]

No, it can't. It never can. But the whole point of making mistakes is so you can learn from them- get stronger, become better. If you really regret what you've done, it means you're not a monster. And it also means that you can apologize and try to make amends, whatever way you can.

[He steadfastly believes that. Even if Teddy hadn't forgiven him, even if it had been impossible for them to stay together, he'd have wanted to do something more than just apologize. Giving up... it just isn't in him anymore. And he doesn't want to encourage it in others, either.]

[untrueheart]

[Billy is the second person in her whole life, so far, to tell her outright that she is not a monster. Even Duck didn't use those exact words.]

Right now, he doesn't remember it happening. My apology would matter little, if at all.

[selfhelp]

...Then you should tell him. Tell him, then apologize, and then make amends. That's the only way you'll be able to know where you might stand with him, both now and in the future.

[untrueheart]

[But I don't deserve to be forgiven. And she doesn't think she can survive unforgiven.

Billy seems to understand most of the problem even though he's - in Rue's opinion - dreadfully wrong on a few very important matters. Waiting and trying to curry favor with Mytho in this state is much safer and easier in her mind.]

That...would be so hard to do.

[selfhelp]

Of course it would be. You did something terrible, didn't you? Apologizing isn't supposed to be easy.

[He gets it, he does. He'd turned the lives of dozens of people upside down- people he cared about, people he loved, people who'd trusted him. Some had forgiven him, others hadn't. And some were gone before he could find out if the ever would.

Months later, it's still hard.]

But it isn't fair to leave it like this. To pretend you didn't do it, or... to run away from the truth. It isn't right.

[untrueheart]

He is from a time in the past when it hasn't happened yet.

[Not all of it. Some of it has, some of the cruelty and wickedness and selfish love. Rue no longer sounds like she wants to argue. She feels defeated, and so very tired of her performance now.]

[selfhelp]

[Hm. Apologizing for wrongs that haven't happened yet... that's harder. And he's not so sure anymore about what the right answer is. Still... just leaving it like this way doesn't feel right, either.]

What's the alternative? Suffer in silence, always wondering what he might say? It seems like this makes you so unhappy... are you okay with doing nothing?

[untrueheart]

[It would be worse to lose him forever.

It would be what she deserves, for putting him through all that pain.]

I don't know. I...I-I don't want to hurt him anymore.

[selfhelp]

Then... help him. In any way you can. Even if you don't tell him the truth in the end, it's never a bad thing to help people. Might even help you too, in the long run.

[untrueheart]

[Help him.

Help him without damaging him, preferably. Rue presses her lips together, covering her mouth with one hand. Just help him. And love him, because she will always love him, and she's learned a lot about loving unselfishly here in Luceti.]

I can do that.

[selfhelp]

[Small victory, that. It's very rare that people are willing to take big risks on the first day, and she's definitely struggling with this a lot.]

That's good. I think it'll do some good.

[untrueheart]

[It won't make her less of a terrible person. Rue pushes the hair out of her face, hardly noticing when it falls forward all over again.]

Why did you start talking to me about it?

[selfhelp]

[Billy purses his lips at that, quiet for a moment. That could potentially be a difficult question, but... looking at her now, remembering what she'd said, it's not that difficult at all.]

Because... you called yourself a terrible person. I wanted to see for myself if it was true.

[untrueheart]

[What a tiny reason. Rue hunches, wondering at his feelings now that he knows so much of the truth after all.]

Has this been proof enough?

[selfhelp]

...Yeah, I think so. I've seen plenty.

[It's familiar, actually; it makes him remember all too clearly how he felt about himself for a long time. That helps him believe that maybe, with some work, she'll do okay.]

I think you're an unhappy person who's done terrible things... things that you regret. But terrible people, in general, don't regret what they've done. So there's that.

[untrueheart]

You think I'm not terrible just because I have regret for what I've done?

[When she thinks about it that way...well, the Raven doesn't regret any decisions other than raising her. Rue folds her arms around herself, shivering.]

[selfhelp]

I think there's a big difference between being a bad person and making a mistake.

[untrueheart]

[Why is it so hard to convince him that she is as awful as she knows she is? Seated at a desk now, Rue drops her head into her hands and grabs fistfuls of hair.]

I make too many mistakes.

[selfhelp]

It isn't up to you to decide how much is too much. Even if you think you're worthless, other people can still see someone they want to be with. Trust me on that.

[He'd thought that getting himself out of the way for Teddy's sake would help. It had taken a lot of work to convince him otherwise, but he'd have never been able to do it alone. His worth, for a long time now, has stemmed from other people accepting his mistakes. He can't see why she would be any different.]

[untrueheart]

[And why should she? Why should she trust him, this boy who decided he cared all of a sudden, and knew all her secret worries and had answers for every single one? That's suspicious if she has ever met suspicious in her life.

Except he has those answers because he knows the questions.]

You really believe that.

[selfhelp]

[He looks straight at her, his gaze serious, even if she won't look at him.]

I do. Wholeheartedly.

[untrueheart]

Well, I don't know if I do.

[Rue crosses her arms, a better defense than such weak words. Why can't she just tell him she wants it to be true? Why is it always so easy and never that easy at the same time?]

[selfhelp]

That's okay... to an extent. Sometimes it takes a while to learn that your life has value. Sometimes you need more people believing in you. But it's something to work on, isn't it?

[untrueheart]

[Believing her life has value? Only one person ever even implied it. Rue swallows hard, whispers something so softly it doesn't make words; when she tries again, the words are different.]

I don't know anymore.