I don't know why I had to try living my life on the otherside

[installing]

Who: Winry Rockbell ( installing ) and Haruhi Suzumiya ( godbent )
What: GIRLTIME
When: April 15th, Winry Day
Where: En route to House 10 from Cloud Nine
Summary: Something about the event really hit home. It's time to talk about it.
Rating: S for SUPER SERIOUS


[Winry couldn't tell if she enjoyed that little time of thinking she lived in Sokka's world or not. In some ways she really enjoyed the experience, and felt closer to one of her best friends. In other ways it only cemented some ideas that had been clawing at the back of her mind. She needed to deal with them. Doubt, uncertainty, and fear kept her from doing so before. However she cannot put it off any longer. She wants to make a family. She wants to marry and have children, and she wants it soon. However Haruhi isn't nearly ready for that. She can tell. The air between them lately hasn't been the same, either, so perhaps it really is time. And as they walk back from a night date at Cloud Nine the two share an umbrella.
Winry thinks about how her shoes are lightly soaked as her conversation with Haruhi finds a lull. Now's her chance. She speaks up.]

Hey, Haruhi? Can I ask you something?

Comments

[reoccurred]

[Winry throws down the umbrella as her face contorts. No, she won't cry. She wont. Winry bites her own lips as the rain soaks her, and the umbrella rolls on the ground.]

Do you really thing that? You honestly think I'm that kind of person? I never want to forget you. Why are you saying that?

1/2

[godbent]

[Haruhi lower's her face as the rain's starting to come down on her too. Stupid- this is going to mess up her hair and this hairband. This dress is so not suited for rain either. Stupid, stupid Suzumiya why are you even thinking about that? Why are you even voicing what you know to be the truth in the deep corners of your heart?

...And perhaps more importantly, why can't you stop?]

[godbent]

Well a---aren't you?! Every time we talk about it, you're always talking about how you'll go home and forget everything! With resignation, hell, Winry, with hope sometimes! I can hear it in how you're speaking! You think I don't know you well enough to sense it?!

PRETEND THIS HAIR IS STILL BROWN I NEED A WIDER RANGE OF EMOTIONS

[installing]

Just because I've accepted the fact that everyone goes home eventually doesn't mean I "just can't wait to forget you." My home is where my grandmother and my life is. You don't understand because you like this place better than your home, even without me.

Haruhi I'm not leaving you for him. I'm not leaving you for anyone! This is about me and you. You don't think about the future, but I do. I do a lot. I feel old on my birthdays, sometimes I see shapes of babies in clouds, and when I look at Sokka and Suki I wish I had that. That level of commitment. I've drawn engagement rings on notepaper and dreamed about weddings. But you don't want any of that.

OH FINE I WILL

[godbent]

I don't understand? I don't understand?! [Fury comes into her eyes now. There might be tears but it's not going to show in the rain as she reaches her arms back and shoves Winry as hard as she can. She knows it's mean, she knows it's pointless but how dare she]

I haven't see my parents in over a year, and before that I hadn't seen them in over two! I write letters to my father regularly! I hadn't seen members of my [not true] original Brigade in years, only to have them come to and have Kyon reject me, Mikuru vanish in a few months, and Yuki vanish in a few days! I've had to miss that stupid boring world more than I ever wanted to miss some useless place like that, having my heart ripped out trying to compensate for the loss of... of whatever it is I might've had back there and I don't understand?!

Screw you!

[installing]

[Winry wasn't expecting that. She falls backward into the wet street and the skirt of her dress rips as she hits the ground. She lands on her butt, and looks up at Haruhi. She doesn't bother standing up. She hurts too much. Not from falling down, but from how this is going. She's crying, but her face and voice probably betrays it better than Haruhi's. Have Kyon reject me. She can't help but focus on that part, and remember how Ed avoided her for the longest time when she told him about Haruhi. At the moment she can't form words, and just sobs.]

[godbent]

So how... so how is it different?! I'll tell you! You're just waiting to go there, waiting to go back and forget this place! Forget me! Go back and marry Ed, have him knock you up younger than you are now and go about your life blissfully unaware that Haruhi Suzumiya ever existed!

[And she stops the ground. Her knees are shaking. What are you doing, Suzumiya? But she can't stop now. Her voice is breaking a little and she's soaked. She can't stop. She wants to stop, but her own pain is contorting into anger and she can't force her voice to stop working]

I'm not an illusion, Winry! I'm not some passing dream you can just shove aside! Or can you?!

[installing]

I don't- Shut up, I don't want that! I wish- If I had my way you'd come home with us and be a part of my life forever! I don't want you out of my life, I just think we'd work better if you were a different part of it. How can I prove that to you? What could I do to make you understand how much I'd want you to be my maid of honor, or-

Or the Godmother of my children?!

1/2

[godbent]

[And then, finally, her eyes wide, her knees actually give way to collapse to her knees. She hangs her head, angrily trying to reign in all of her emotions. Had Ed been like he had been in Amestris since he came back to Luceti? Did he smile the way he did there? Hell, it made her feel like she wanted him a little, the moment Winry saw that smile she would just fall into his arms and Haruhi could not survive that. Not right now.

...But that's selfish. She's selfish]

[godbent]

[...Her voice is far less angry after she "collects" herself, but she's wet and miserable and-] Both. It's not or, it's and... a-and I get to name one of them.

[Fine, break up with me.]

[installing]

[Winry doesn't bother standing, but she does make her way over to Haruhi. Tears are still streaming down her cheeks, and her face doesn't look like it's stopped crying even if the rain hide some of it.]

B-both, and- and so much more. You will never stop being important to me. No matter what. [So please don't leave my life. Hesitantly she reaches out to hug Haruhi. She braces herself to be rejected, but...]

[godbent]

[It's not explicitly rejected, but Haruhi is too hurt and still too pissed somewhere in her heart to really reach her arms up to return it or anything. She just is there with he knees on the ground and in the mud here. And they're sort of in public too. God this really sucks]

[installing]

[She wraps her arms around her (ex?)girlfriend, and rests her head on Haruhi's shoulders. Winry doesn't care if the rain is cold or if her dress is a mess. I'm sorry it had to be like this. I love you. She won't say anything just yet. Instead the sound of rain falling surrounds them.]

[godbent]

[This feeling sucks.

This feeling totally sucks. She doesn't say anything though, just... is on her knees here, somewhat awkwardly and somewhat painfully]

[installing]

[After a while Winry tries to stand, and offers a hand to Haruhi.]

Instead of being girlfriends could we be... life partners? You'll always mean more to me than a friend.

[godbent]

I have more conditions, you know.

[With more of a pout than anything, really. But... okay, she takes the hand.]

[installing]

[She also picks up the umbrella and puts it over them again.]

I'm more than willing to listen.

[godbent]

[...]

F-first, don't get pregnant for like. Six months, at least.

[installing]

[Wh-]

I'd have to get married first, and I don't think that's happening in six months so- done?

[godbent]

[Don't think that's happening. Hah, Fat chance. She snuggles up next to Winry despite them both being cold and wet. Mostly to make sure that she doesn't trip over herself]

Se--second, don't get married for at least like. Four months.

[She can be okay in that long, right? Not really]

[installing]

[Winry, out of habit, slips an arm around Haruhi's waist.]

All right. [She nods.] But... you do know Ed is basically emotionally and romantically handicapped, right? I don't know if we'll even be dating by then.

[godbent]

[Ed. she admits it. Haruhi's lip curls into a quasi-snarl and she shouts this next part]

You didn't see him then!

[And she actually jerks away from Winry. Out of the holding, and out from under the umbrella]

[installing]

[Winry just stares at her in shock. See him when? What?]

[godbent]

You didn't see him then.

[She'll marry him within two months. She'll be pregnant within three. She'll forget all about her.]

[installing]

I don't know what you're talking about.