We're more than carbon and chemicals

[lucetimods]

Who: All Draftees
What: Fighting Third Party
When: 26th, 27th, 28th, 1st, and 2nd
Where: The Southern Farmlands
Summary: See here for overall details.
Rating: Probably gonna be gorey in places :|a

DOESN'T NEED A CUT. People should know how this works, if not, just follow other people's lead. I'm gonna set up some strategist threads at the top, for the four strategists to use if they want to, otherwise people should start their own threads.

((Mod Note: Since this has been asked a few times, just fyi, the livestock do not talk. Happy hunting!))

Comments

[pearheaded]

Right.

It's nice to meet you, Mr. Mel Broomtop!!

[HANDSHAKE! 8D]

I'm Ian Algaehead!

[goldenglasses]

[NO HANDSHAKE! Fine... handshake.]

No. It's Mel, just Mel. Mr. Algaehead.

[pearheaded]

[BTW sorry about my noodle-armed shake, bro. But it's good to be polite.]

But you look like a Mr. Broomtop.

What's your last name?

[goldenglasses]

[PFT! Forgot about that! They mentally handshake?]

My last name? Oh, well, it's

Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III.

So best just to call me Mel.

[pearheaded]

[Bah, flabby arm or no, a greeting's a greeting~]

...

Oh! It's good to meet you, [straightens up] Mr. Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III.

Your father's surname, right?

[goldenglasses]

How did you know?

[pearheaded]

I dunno man, that just seems like a super manly name.

So, what brings you to this lovely battlefield barn?

[He's having a hard time with small talk lately. Maybe it's because they're on a battlefield, idk.]

[goldenglasses]

Oh, you know. The usual. I was hungry and wanted to see if this farm would sell me any corn. [And now that you aren't bleeding to death, opening that door just a bit to see if any of the the Third Party members followed them here.

And shutting it again when a arrow embeds itself into the door.]

I think they're waiting for us out there. [Reloading the shots he used getting them there.]

[pearheaded]

[... gulp.]

S-so, what do we do?

1/3

[goldenglasses]

Well, we could surrender and let them kill us... or try the back door!

2/3 Wow... LJ really wants me to use that icon tonight apparently

[goldenglasses]

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand trying that back door. Oh, hi Mr. Arrow. Shutting the door again.]

3/3

[goldenglasses]

Don't go out that door.

[pearheaded]

All right! What if you shoot that wall over there, and I just tackle into it and break it down! You won't even have to worry about me breaking bones, and there's a corn field right in front of it!

It'll be the perfect getaway!

[goldenglasses]

[That MIGHT work.] But if I fire my guns off it's going to be really loud. It won't take them long to figure out our position. Can you be fast?

[pearheaded]

[He nods.]

I may not look it, but I can handle it, no problem!

[this ain't my first rodeo]

[goldenglasses]

Alright then. [Suddenly there is another gun shooting out from Vash's left hand. TOTALLY NORMAL, RIGHT!? It's just, that one is better at blasting holes in stuff. Vash has personally tested this after all.] Ready?

[pearheaded]

[.... ooooh. Cool.]

Yeah, I'm ready!

[goldenglasses]

Alright. Here we go then.

[RATT-TA-TAT-TAT-TAT!]

1/2

[pearheaded]

[Aaand Ian rushes in just when the noise ceases, slamming his shoulder and skull right into the weakened wall with a whole lot of might; typically, pain and the fear of it would damper someone's capabilities, but he doesn't need to concern himself with that.

The wall splinters into tiny pieces and—]

[pearheaded]

[Ian's totally still running.]

I CAN'T STOOOOOOOOOOO—

[WOOSH, right into the corn field and hauling ass like his own little tree-man bullet.]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash is fine right now with the fact that you can't stop. He'll worry about stopping you later. For now he follows behind, providing cover as they run. Taking down any of the Third Party members who had rushed towards the noise.]

[pearheaded]

[It's okay, he'll be waiting for you in the thick of the field. Upside down, with his wobbly arms draped over his face.]

...Urrrugh...

[goldenglasses]

[Vash ducks down. Keeping an eye on the sky. His red coat isn't exactly going to blend in easily to those flying above looking for them. He smirks at the pile of arms and legs at the ground, but keeps his voice down when he speaks.]

Well, that was impressive.

[But they can't stay here too long. He can hear the Third Party Members entering the corn field to look for them.]

[pearheaded]

[From the ground:]

What next, Mr. Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III?

[One can imagine this whisper takes long enough that the Third Party has advanced quite a bit.]

[goldenglasses]

[Oh no, that joke takes waaaaaaaaaaay too long. Hooking a couple arms around your shoulders and dragging. You can either keep talking while he drags or get up under your own feet. Either way, this mortal wants to keep moving. No arrows in his head, thanks.]

Next we keep moving and close to the ground so they can't find us and make our way back to a group. [Vash keeps and eye on the sky and strains his ears to listen for the movements of those who entered the cornfield after them. He thinks he can keep away from them, but those flying ones are going to be a liiiiiiittle tricky.]