Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die:

[all7seas]

Who: noprevaricating, hippocraticly, lists_to_port
What: Two Eighteenth-century Sailors and the Tractor That Didn't Love Them. And McCoy, covering his eyes.
When: Day 1 of the Draft; after this.
Where: A farm near the battlefield, and its surrounds.
Summary: Jack and Archie have decided to tend to matters of war, in spite of difficulties caused by shifting irregularities.
Rating: Jim Varney wearing John Goodman's trousers and Jed Clampett's hat.



The first thing Jack Sparrow noticed after being transported to the battlefield with the rest was what amounted to excruciating pain in his right arm.

His sword arm.

It dangled from his shoulder, badly broken and useless. And pink.

On his knees in a pile of dusty straw, Jack inspected the damage, and found it very bad indeed; he found he could not feel the fingers on his right hand at all. Clutching the useless limb to his chest, he looked about. "KENNEDY! BONES!" Where were they in this chaos?

...

And why was he COMPLETELY PINK?

Comments

2/2

[all7seas]

"ABANDON SHIP, MCCOY! She's going to blow, mate. Oh for the---KENNEDY, WAKE UP." If they didn't get out of there in the next few seconds, they would all three be blown sky high.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

The doctor ignored the pirate's agitated screaming in his ears and the flames licking beneath the bonnet of the tractor as he pressed the hypospray against Kennedy's neck. One tell-tale hiss later, the drug had been administered and he slipped it back into the pouch and waited for the lieutenant to rouse.

[all7seas]

"AAAAAARRRRRRRR!" That was Jack's Rebel Yell as he dove for the doctor and the unconscious lieutenant, aiming to knock them all off of the flaming death trap to safety.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"Will you shut up and give me a se—" McCoy was prevented from completing that gripe as he was tackled off the tractor along with Kennedy and grunted as he fell off and was crushed underneath their weight. Still, he could walk away from the battle with the knowledge that thanks to these sea dogs, he had inhaled primitive fuel to last him a lifetime. Thanks.

[all7seas]

"Beastie." There was a lot of tragedy contained in that one word as the pirate, having rather comfortably landed directly on top of McCoy, watched their rusting steed erupt into a fireball that would make any director of any Steven Segal movie ever anywhere weep in appreciation. "...There cracks a noble heart, lads."

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"And you've just let them know where we are!" McCoy wheezed from somewhere underneath the pirate and attempted to none-too-gently shove him off him as a chicken clucked and scratched around Kennedy's head.

"Congratulations!"

[simplestgift]

"Did I have a fit?" The question was murmured very softly, but in spite of the soft-spokenness, Archie was quietly terrified.

[all7seas]

"Fit? You fell asleep, boy. Can you move at all?"

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"What he said." The doctor sighed.

[simplestgift]

Archie propped himself up on his elbows to answer, squinting at the burning tractor. "I fell asleep?"

[all7seas]

"Like the fair maiden in the fairytale."

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

He shot a withering glare at the pirate and then looked back at the lieutenant. "Or it could be one of those irregularities. You two shouldn't be here, damn it. It's too dangerous."

[simplestgift]

Archie was already standing up and dusting himself off, trying to disguise his profound relief. "Yes, thank you, Captain Jack. Perhaps it won't happen again, Doctor. What should we do now?"

[all7seas]

"Well I won't be kissin' you if it does, mate." Jack hugged his broken arm to his chest and coughed up a chicken feather. When he finally recovered from that, he made a suggestion: "What we need lads, is an alternative form of dashing transport."

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"... Actually, we need to fix your arm first. Sit down." His tone left no room for argument.

[simplestgift]

Archie watched as the wind carried the smoke from the burning tractor in the opposite direction of the small party, then took a few steps back and considered himself on watch while the doctor fixed his unprofessional setting of the bone.

[all7seas]

"OI! EASY there, McCoy! Hurts, you know!" Jack proceeded to be an infant about the whole affair. Much like that famous painting about dogs playing poker, except the reverse of that, he was going to exhibit doglike qualities like growling and pulling away from the man who was trying to help him.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

He was used to his patients being unruly when all he wanted to do was treat them. Scowling, he tried to treat the skitter pirate and muttered about the man being an infant under his breath.

[simplestgift]

Archie continued to scan the landscape for enemies. Something didn't feel right, and he wished he had his pistol.

[all7seas]

Finally Sparrow submitted to letting McCoy take a look at his arm. He admirably did not scream as the sling and splint were removed.

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

He couldn't really berate Archie for the way in which he managed to patch up Jack and resisted in rolling his eyes at the primitive method he did so and tossed the phaser at the lieutenant instead. Should they be ambushed, then he'd shout out orders how to use it. Or maybe the man would figure it out for himself, judging by how they had hijacked the tractor in the first place.

"Kennedy, keep a look out."

[simplestgift]

Archie caught the baffling-looking instrument and inspected it. Supposedly it was a weapon of some ilk. He took a few seconds to make note of all the buttons on it, but ended up dismissing it as useless afterward. Holding it loosely in one hand, he obeyed orders, still feeling like he was doing something wrong.

[all7seas]

"Oi, Bonesy---he looks like a proper spaceman now, does our Kennedy. And---OUCH! BUGGER!"

[hippocraticly.livejournal.com]

"Keep waggling that tongue, Sparrow." McCoy griped as he began to treat the broken arm. If there was one thing he could thank the Malnosso for, it was the tools they supplied him with and particularly handy little bone-knitter device.

[simplestgift]

That's what was bothering him. Archie turned his eyes up to the sky. Way, way overhead were winged creatures, circling like vultures. "Up there! Above us!"