lucetilogs | Event Log - Total Recall

Entry tags:

Event Log - Total Recall

Who: You and you and mostly me and you
What: Everyone's been Shifted in their own way
When: A hero doesn't care if this event last a whole ten days
Where: Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
Summary: It's that special time when the Malnosso collect all their recent experiments and apply them all at once to measure effectiveness. Although invaluable as research, it tends to leave the subjects looking just a bit mad.
Rating: Rated H for HEROIC

So there is a mod post and it pretty much tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. This is a mass log for people to comment around on if they don't want to make posts. Or even if they want to make posts anyway. There will be at least one more of these later in the event! ENJOY!

Don't forget to tag in using the appropriate format: [canon] character name

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a difference between biding your time and waiting for something to break.

[Low, curt, and he's trying to clam down. He really is. But that was a low blow and Adele's never been terribly good with turning the other cheek. It cost him the marriage, most of his family, his life. And he's managed to curb it in Luceti for the most part but that just. Breaks it.]

I don't care if he's immortal and invulnerable- here? Anyone can die. Anyone can leave. There is no planning around shifts- around experiments. But fine. I'll take it on faith that he can manage it. But if I have to put him back together after an attempt leaves him broken and bloody I'm blaming you for it.

[Ten steps, turn, scrub hand through hair, wash, rinse, repeat. Though he does stop with a low, bitter laugh at the last.]

No, no. they remind you both of a woman that doesn't exist. So of course I should keep digging that knife in deeper and smiling as much as you both could ever want.

[He feels his shoulders tensing, heart pounding, and just focuses on his breathing as Adele blasts him verbally. Her words were true, but that didn't make it any easier.

He doesn't curl his arms around his body like she did, doesn't draw his feet up onto the sofa. Instead he remains stoic, watching her with militaristic stillness. His gaze is firm, steady, unwavering. His voice is equally so.]

You're only hurting and blaming a man that doesn't exist himself. It's pointless.

Levarre. Doesn't. Exist.

But you? You do. In some bizarre melding of what you are and feel and know that bleeds through into Lupin. I've seen it. When that shift ended- Levarre left. You didn't. You won't leave after this either. You'll still be there. Levarre's not coming back- and she's not bleeding through. She's gone.

...is she? Everything in Luceti has a way of coming back--she came back the same as I during this Shift, left her mementos and her memories. You still can do Makashi at a very proficient level, which wouldn't be possible if not for some echo of her inside of you.

But the smiles aren't just a reflection of her. They're you. I know the difference. Your smiles are unique, different. There's nothing of her in there.

If you want to deny everything, fine. Go ahead. You're sealing a part of yourself away if you do that, and only driving a knife into your own heart.

She's not me. I'm not her. We're nothing alike and I'm glad for it. What I recall is of use. What can keep me alive. Nothing more.

[Because Adele wasn't dependent on others. Didn't bleed when they bled, didn't run from her obligations because they were difficult or uncomfortable. Didn't sleep around on a man she supposedly loved for any reason. They were nothing alike. They couldn't be. To entertain the very thought made his skin crawl.

He stops pacing and stands in front of Red for a long moment. Tempted to leave. He should. This had gotten terribly out of hand long before he'd ever come in to return the jacket.]

Compartmentalizing. [He spreads his hands.] It's what I do best, Red. It's how I stay sane.

[There was nothing more to say. Adele said her piece, however harsh and uncalled for it was. There was nothing that Red could do to make her see his point--at all. His face didn't show it. but the words hurt. A lot.]

...I'm not sure I can believe that at all, Adele. [Because, even in his hurt, he suspected that no one would be this angry if there wasn't another level buried underneath the torrent.] Compartments break after a long enough time, especially if they are containing something heavy. You're too insistent for a person that has everything settled. Who are you trying to convince?

Call me a liar, then.

[He shrugs, scrubs his face with a hand. Swears and itches at his stubble. Low, rough, because he really doesn't want to discuss it- but for Red, he will.]

I'm not that irresponsible. I do not run from what I cannot fix. I'm not comfortable around it, but I don't run. Why else would I stay in a broken marriage for eleven years?

[Red listens, still not showing his fatigue. He needed to be strong--for her, and himself. Time to breathe would come later.]

...you're talking as if she is as flighty as a child. Goldie did just as you describe, more so even. She only left me because she thought she could fix Obi-Wan [Because he only called the man 'Ben' for the sake of Levarre.] Whatever her actions, good or bad, her reasons were never out of pure selfishness.

I'm not calling you selfish. I'm saying that you protest too much.

Ben doesn't need fixing. And if he does he can do it on his own. You can't fix people that do not want to be fixed. Even with the Force. Especially with the force, because that's not fixing, that's manipulation- and that's too similar to a great many people I want nothing to do with to consider any points of commonality between her and myself.

[Considering it's uncomfortable. So he ignores it. Runs from it- oh goddamnit.]

...I swear if I ever meet her in person. I'm going to hit her. She's caused nothing but trouble. [He sags back down on the sofa opposite Red, massaging his face with a hand.] For you, for Lupin, for Fujiko- you haven't spoken to her yet, have you?

She was an empath and a healer--she felt Obi-Wan hurting, and wanted nothing more than to fix it. I can't say I understand it either, but its who she was.

[He does sigh at her question, shoulders sagging as he averts his gaze from her face.]

No. Neither has Lupin.

An obsessed idiot. Even I can see that of the two of you you're the better option- if not for Lupin and Fujiko. Especially since it was more...genuine.

[He waves a hand vaguely and sighs.]

I do not know how else to describe it. But you and her made for a better fit. I do not understand the choice she made, then.

[Adele drops his hands and looks across to Red, that sudden and yet not so sudden wariness terribly apparent now that he's not angry at a woman he can't yell at.]

Merde.

[Dark eyes return to the blond, brows furrowed in confusion. The admission was so off hand, so sudden, that it takes a moment to process.

The French curse gets translated faster, thanks to Lupin's fluency.]

Adele, I'm not sure that I understand exactly...

Edited 2012-05-30 19:52 (UTC)

...You don't keep going back to someone that causes you pain. Especially if there's someone better suited to you waiting. It doesn't make sense. She was an idiot.

[And that's all she has to say on the matter. Really.]

The curse was for Fujiko. Explaining any of this to her will be- I do not know her well and things have been strained enough since the shift. It will not be easy for you, or for Lupin. And there's nothing I might say or do to help you with it.

...she's part of the reason he's stealing the fountain, you know. The other reason.

[He smiles bitterly at the commentary. After that argument? It was probably the closest to anything positive that he would hear from her for the rest of the evening.]

She knew that she was an idiot in the end. Goldie. She admitted it too. [For all of the good that it did him...] I can deal with Fujiko. There's nothing that she can do to me that she hasn't done all ready to Lupin worse, and Lupin will know how to clean up if it doesn't end well. It's their usual game, really.

I had wondered. [A beat, then he huffs a laugh.] It makes perfect sense, now.

Then it's one thing we agree on. That and you do, in fact, deserve better. And don't deserve whatever Fujiko throws at you because of it. His game doesn't have to be yours Red. Just because it suits him doesn't mean it suits you.

...you also. [Sigh.] Didn't. Deserve any of what I said. It's not your fault. I am stubborn and unreasonable. But you didn't have to poke at a panic attack. That was cruel.

I was frustrated, and it didn't feel like you were listening. I...didn't expect you to react like that. You have been getting a lot better about the heights.

[He shrugs uselessly, not even sure how to continue.] Lupin and Fujiko are Lupin and Fujiko, and I'll likely be gone again in a few days. It's better that their game continues as close to normal as possible, so the switch over will be cleaner. I helped take down the Empire, Adele. I can handle Fujiko.

Don't. Mention it again. Just don't. [Adele lifts a hand, the other massaging his face. Just. Deep, even breaths.]

I'm more stressed than I normally would be for one- and this past however long I've been somewhat high strung. Waking up as a man has not helped in the slightest. And then you pointed a gun at me- which brings up quite a few unpleasant memories if I might add. I'm not exactly at my most calm Red.

[A few days. Probably less, though. It makes Adele wonder why Levarre left, and Red remained. It didn't seem fair to him, not really. Even less with her, like. Well. This.]

...I think you might have had an easier time with the Empire.

Not at all. We're still fighting sympathizers.

[It was the truth, although Red wasn't certain which would be harder or more emotionally taxing in the long run. He was used to working in the background, not where everyone could see. The direct approach, which he would have to take with Fujiko, was never easy for him.]

I didn't recognize you--that's why I grabbed for the gun. Intruders aren't generally welcome, and Lupin would want to know who took his jacket. It wasn't the right course of action either, but I've never been a good physical combatant. I know some things, but this body has made certain moves tricky.

...you shouldn't have to be high strung. Don't you trust your friends enough to talk to them?

Edited 2012-05-31 02:44 (UTC)

The aftermath is always the worst of it.

[He's quiet a long moment, not at all certain what it is he could say, or should say. this wasn't his strong suit. Without anything else to go on he reaches over to squeeze Red's hand.]

I don't blame you for the gun, I'd have done the same, really. I should have left a note. I was just. A little. Blindsided by being a man this morning. It overshadowed a lot of my common sense.

...of course I trust them. They're just not themselves right now. And that's how long I've felt stressed- shifts always leave me twitchy. I'll cope now that I'm me again.

[The sudden physical contact, made with gentle intent, surprises Red--he lets it show this time as he glances at Adele. The squeeze was returned, a friendly gesture.]

Everyone's been blindsided. Why do you think I left that note at the beginning of the week? I'll leave another telling him not to be so stupid this time. [He grins wryly, hoping that Lupin would listen to it while knowing what his odds were of actually being heeded.]

I'm myself. Well, part of myself. Since I'm part of Lupin, that doesn't count for much...but Lupin would have probably yelled right back at you earlier.

Did you want to talk? Letting it linger under the surface isn't very healthy.

So that was you. I had wondered.

[That surprise actually made Adele wilt a little. Ashamed of what he'd said- of the hurt he'd probably inflicted without thinking. He never did when he got that bad. The next step is easier, and less tentative. He stands, hand still in Red's, and walks over to the opposite sofa. Settles next to him and tugs Red close, looping his arm around the slim, feminine shoulders with minimum difficulty. There.]

It counts for plenty, Red. You and he are similar enough, and dissimilar enough, to be your own people. What you have in common makes it a little smoother...and.

He really would have. And that would have made it worse- Robert and I we'd. Get into the worst arguments over nothing. Eventually it wouldn't be about who's right anymore. The winner was whoever hurt the other person more.

I had an opening--I took it.

[He follows Adele's lead, not entirely certain what the doctor was intending. She declared vehemently nothing would come of their relationship, whatever it was, and many other things that night. It left Red conflicted. Did she change her mind about their relationship? Was physical contact the right or wrong thing?

Red settles into Adele's arms a little stiffly. He needed to figure out the best way to balance this.]

Your relationship with Robert sounds very unhealthy. Not even Lupin's that bad. He does things on impulse, but not specifically to hurt people. Not really.

And thanks for the words, Adele. They won't change my fate when this shift is over, but they do help.

[It was an apology, unspoken but present. An offer. Nothing romantic, now or ever, but this. This comfortable, casual camaraderie. This physical confirmation of a platonic relationship. Echo's of Levarre's intent, and Adele can't help but recognize it for what it is. A part of her does care for Red more than he should. And as much as he'd like to ignore it- that part aches with how much he'd hurt him.

Especially for something that wasn't his fault. Shots taken that were exceptionally cruel and petty. Cheap.]

...it wasn't at first. But. It became toxic over the course of a decade. Between that, the alcoholism, the gambling. I don't think it could have gotten any worse.

It's good that you got out of it then. Just, please. Try not to let your anger at him affect how you think of others.

[Because it was unfair to Adele herself otherwise. She deserved something good, something better than that. He sighs, the tension falling from his shoulders as he settles into her arms awkwardly. The offered camaraderie is welcome after the frustrating week, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her chastely and forget about his problems.

He resisted. Doing that would upset their all ready delicate balance. Letting the desire eat away at his heart was better than ruining a friendship for Lupin. The man needed all of his friends right now.]

Eleven years of bad habits. It's a long time to get that ingrained into me. And a shoddy excuse.

[Adele turns, brushing his lips against Red's hair. Easy. It's almost odd how easy this is, now that they've both relaxed. Now that he's not angry, and not stressed. Now that he just...is. Even with the oddness of this body, even with the shift- with Red leaving soon. It's comfortable for a moment.]

I'm trying to break them. No one here needs to see what he'd pull from me.

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