lucetilogs | Event Log - Total Recall

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Event Log - Total Recall

Who: You and you and mostly me and you
What: Everyone's been Shifted in their own way
When: A hero doesn't care if this event last a whole ten days
Where: Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
Summary: It's that special time when the Malnosso collect all their recent experiments and apply them all at once to measure effectiveness. Although invaluable as research, it tends to leave the subjects looking just a bit mad.
Rating: Rated H for HEROIC

So there is a mod post and it pretty much tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. This is a mass log for people to comment around on if they don't want to make posts. Or even if they want to make posts anyway. There will be at least one more of these later in the event! ENJOY!

Don't forget to tag in using the appropriate format: [canon] character name

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That sometimes you have to rebreak a bone for it to mend properly. Metaphorically speaking, I'm aware of the medical practice. And...that there is a reason why she loves you. And I shouldn't keep myself closed to similar possibilities- in general. Not with you or Lupin just. In general.

...That's good then. Very good. [Would that help Adele to trust Goldie's judgement a little better? Red couldn't tell.]

It's better to be happy and healthy and not worried about everything. It's better to not carry everything sometimes.

I did stop worrying for a little while- and then I got stabbed. Here, see?

[He shifts to the side and tugs down the loose collar of his shirt, showing the mostly mended tissue and long line of the scar.]

I remember that.

[He did. It was another time when the echoes and impulses blurred, but he kept himself in check. There was nothing he could do anyway--it was all on Lupin.

Hesiatantly, he reaches up to brush the line of the scar with light fingers, tracing its path across her chest.]

You have terrible luck, you know that? If you want to avoid a war, please be more careful in the future.

[He doesn't flinch, but he does twitch a little. The skin itches and the memory lingers. A frightened boy with a knife.]

We're already in a war, Red. Willing or not. Anything that happens in the enclosure is extra. Starting another one in here, for whatever reason, is a waste of time and resources better spent finding a way out.

Adele. My entire existance is as it is because I joined a war effort. I know what it looks like, and I know the dangers. Just--just...[He trails, hand settling on Adele's shoulder at he searches her eyes for something to latch onto.]

Lupin is going to start a war one way or another at some point, and even wanted to suggest it to you back in February. Even before he was certain, you were a valuable asset to him. Now you're also a friend, so you need to take better care of yourself. For your sake, his sake, and everyone else's sake.

There's nothing I could do or say to convince him it'd be foolish, is there? Raging against the Malnosso without a plan, without information that we do not have won't amount to anything but wasted time and effort. We need to know more before we do anything, and he knows it. I know it and I'm not a soldier, I don't know many, I don't know tactics- I don't. Know. War.

But I know him doing anything without proper planning is going to get himself and others here killed. And I can't temper or curb this. I'm trying to learn what I can to be of use. To pick up skills that will keep me alive whenever it finally comes down around us- because it will. Maybe not while I"m here, but I'd rather be prepared. But I can't control everything. Neither can he.

[Red manages a smile for Adele, an attempt to soothe her misgivings as he speaks.]

He knows he can't control everything, that's why he's being so careful and starting small. It's why he's asking questions. It's why he's gathering intel. The last thing he wants to do is waste his time and get himself or other people killed.

It's only a way back home that he wants.

If you want to be useful? Stay safe, and keep doing what you're doing. The insights are helpful--why do you think he surrounds himself with people who disagree with him? So he gets an honest opinion. He'll let you know that he has something when he has something. You don't need to worry about that either.

You're but a commander. Lupin? Lupin is a thief. He's not a soldier, he's not a warrior, and he is not a general. A rebellion isn't a heist- he can't plan around it. He can't plan through it, he can't work at this like he normally would. It's an entirely different Game. One he could very well lose.

And I can't bear to watch him fail should it come to that.

So I'm going to argue, I'm going to call him an idiot, and I'm going to distract him as much as I can to keep him from acting prematurely. It won't work. But. It'll be something.

...he's not going to fail.

[It was said calmly, but with utmost confidence.] He's not going to lose because he's taken down worse enemies for riskier causes, even if his motivations were different. He's a thief, yes, but that just gives him a different advantage. No one knows when or how he'll strike--he's unseen.

It's good that you care, but helping him will be better than hindering him. Just be honest, and support him when he does make his move.

This isn't his world, this isn't any enemy he knows. It's a different Game, with different rules, and different consequences. Lupin might be able to remain unseen- an army can't. If he means to wage war he cannot do it alone- I won't allow it. He'll die. And they won't bring him back.

[Absolute worst case scenario- but that is how Adele's mind works. Find the holes, find the reasons a plan, a bullet, a man could fail. Lay them out nice and neat, break down the variables and patch them.

But some holes are beyond patching.]

Just have a little faith, would you? He's not going to do anything for a long time, but he is making the right connections in the right places. He won't be doing it alone--not if Smoker and Luke have anything to say about it. Or any of his other friends.

...you're panicking. Don't worry about it just yet.

Faith isn't going to keep him alive. Planning and preparation will. I didn't take enough variables into account once- you both know where that landed me. I won't let this happen to him. But. Good. Smoker and Luke will be better able to keep him alive than I could.

...I am not panicking. You've seen me panic. Lupin has. This isn't panic. This is preemptive frustration.

Preemptive frustration that will become panic if this keeps up. We are on the sixth level, so it's better for you to stay calm.

...All right. Help him then. Just don't work yourself too hard.

And smile. Please. It really does suit you.

It will no-

[Oh. That bastard.

Until now, Adele's ignored it. Managed to push that little detail to the back of his mind but that confirmation, so blatant in the middle of an emotionally charged debate? Trips him up. Sends him reeling. He tries to stand, stumbles, and sags back against the sofa. Curls his knees to his chest and forces his eyes shut, tries to still the spinning of the world, the sudden tightness of his skin.

Tries to breathe and finds he cant.]

[That...was not the reaction he anticipated. Mentally kicking himself, he catches Adele as she falls back against the sofa and wraps his arms around her, just providing physical comfort until whatever it was passed.]

Didn't mean for that to happen--but you see? Worry about yourself first. Taking care of your own needs will be better for everyone.

...Sorry. You seemed like you were getting better, so I didn't think this would still be a problem.

You...are-

[Deep breaths. Just. Take deep breaths and don't think about where you are right now. Center and focus. It gets a little easier after the third failed attempt to breathe. Hand over eyes he manages to grind out something.]

A manipulative dick.

Intelligence officer. Spy. I can be very unkind if I need to.

[Not that he's proud of himself with this. He doesn't remove his arms from her shaking shoulders, and keeps his own breathing steady. He was a rock once again, and likely little more--

No rest for the anchor just yet.]

You're an extremely stubborn woman who doesn't listen to reason or accept anything as it is. Just relax every once in a while.

No better than goddamned Adenauer.

[Once he can think. Once he can breathe? He pushes way, pulls himself to his feet. To leave- well. Pace. Nervous energy needs an outlet. Adele scrubs his hands through his hair, pacing a swift line back and forth in the livingroom until he can ignore everything other than the ten steps from one point to the other.

It helps.]

Acceptance begets complacency. I need proof, tangible proof before I accept anything like this. But fine. I'll leave it. I'll relax. I'll smile my pointless smiles so long as he doesn't get himself killed.

[Red's not even going to question the muttered comment--he doesn't know and probably doesn't want to know. Instead he sits frighteningly still when Adele pushes away and paces around his apartment in her unquelled fury, face a mask of non-emotion.

If she wanted distance? He could give distance.]

It's not complacency if you're biding your time. Remember what Smoker told Lupin? It's better to let the enemy think you're getting complacent, so that they never see your attack coming.

...he won't die. He's good at not dying.

and your smiles aren't pointless.

There's a difference between biding your time and waiting for something to break.

[Low, curt, and he's trying to clam down. He really is. But that was a low blow and Adele's never been terribly good with turning the other cheek. It cost him the marriage, most of his family, his life. And he's managed to curb it in Luceti for the most part but that just. Breaks it.]

I don't care if he's immortal and invulnerable- here? Anyone can die. Anyone can leave. There is no planning around shifts- around experiments. But fine. I'll take it on faith that he can manage it. But if I have to put him back together after an attempt leaves him broken and bloody I'm blaming you for it.

[Ten steps, turn, scrub hand through hair, wash, rinse, repeat. Though he does stop with a low, bitter laugh at the last.]

No, no. they remind you both of a woman that doesn't exist. So of course I should keep digging that knife in deeper and smiling as much as you both could ever want.

[He feels his shoulders tensing, heart pounding, and just focuses on his breathing as Adele blasts him verbally. Her words were true, but that didn't make it any easier.

He doesn't curl his arms around his body like she did, doesn't draw his feet up onto the sofa. Instead he remains stoic, watching her with militaristic stillness. His gaze is firm, steady, unwavering. His voice is equally so.]

You're only hurting and blaming a man that doesn't exist himself. It's pointless.

Levarre. Doesn't. Exist.

But you? You do. In some bizarre melding of what you are and feel and know that bleeds through into Lupin. I've seen it. When that shift ended- Levarre left. You didn't. You won't leave after this either. You'll still be there. Levarre's not coming back- and she's not bleeding through. She's gone.

...is she? Everything in Luceti has a way of coming back--she came back the same as I during this Shift, left her mementos and her memories. You still can do Makashi at a very proficient level, which wouldn't be possible if not for some echo of her inside of you.

But the smiles aren't just a reflection of her. They're you. I know the difference. Your smiles are unique, different. There's nothing of her in there.

If you want to deny everything, fine. Go ahead. You're sealing a part of yourself away if you do that, and only driving a knife into your own heart.

She's not me. I'm not her. We're nothing alike and I'm glad for it. What I recall is of use. What can keep me alive. Nothing more.

[Because Adele wasn't dependent on others. Didn't bleed when they bled, didn't run from her obligations because they were difficult or uncomfortable. Didn't sleep around on a man she supposedly loved for any reason. They were nothing alike. They couldn't be. To entertain the very thought made his skin crawl.

He stops pacing and stands in front of Red for a long moment. Tempted to leave. He should. This had gotten terribly out of hand long before he'd ever come in to return the jacket.]

Compartmentalizing. [He spreads his hands.] It's what I do best, Red. It's how I stay sane.

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